The Naughty School Girl
by Breath-of-twilight
Summary: Alice has been lusting after her pupil, Bella for a long time. A uniform violation allows her to act on her desires. Bella's inexperience leads the girls to steamy lessons that eventually inc. a dreamy male student and a god-like Male teacher. Even.BxE
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:**

**Alice has been lusting after her pupil Bella for a long time. A uniform violation allows her to act on her desires. Bella's inexperience leads the girls to steamy lessons that eventually inc. a dreamy male student and a God-like Male teacher. Eventually... B x E and A x J**

**Okay, so many of you know, this was originally supposed to be a collaborative effort with TheDeadliestSin, however, she is unable to continue working on this. So, I am going to be posting it and continuing it here, on my own profile. I am re-editing the previously posted chapters and working on the newest update as we speak, please bear with me. I want to get this done right and be able to update much more regularly. Reviews are always appreciated- even if u leave them anonymously- I'm good with that. As you can see, I am a busy body and am working on many other things and don't want to waste my time continuing this unless it is wanted by you readers. Make sense? Of course it does….lol**

**To any of my regular readers- fair warning- this has girl on girl slash and is not like most of my fics.**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

**APOV**

"Bella, may I see you for a moment?" I called out as my English Lit class filed out the door.

She looked up and blushed, I had to contain a moan as she bit her lip shyly, "Yes, Miss Brandon."

I smiled as she made her way up to the desk, her hips swaying back and forth naturally. It was easy to tell when a girl was being seductive, and Miss Swan was definitely not trying. It was completely unintentional on her part.

Good lord, this girl was sinfully hot.

"Miss Brandon, what did you want to talk to me about?" she asked quietly.

"Bella, your skirt is too short," I pointed out, looking down at her black pleated skirt, my eyes lingering on her thighs a little too long… she noticed.

"Well, miss, I think you like it." She replied smiling slyly at me.

I was shocked. Was I that obvious? And since when did she have that kind of confidence?

As if what she had said just dawned on her, she gasped and another blush spread across her face and down to her chest. I gazed appreciatively at the tight little button up shirt she wore, leaving the top four or five buttons undone, leaving me with a spectacular view of her pert little breasts.

I moaned softly.

God, this girl would be the death of me. I wanted her so badly. Only one question remained, would she be up for it?

Time to test the waters!

I stood up and walked around my desk, wiggling my ass in the skirt I'd worn especially to try and impress her.

"Bella," I said softly, stopping just inches from where she stood, my heels making us the same height, "You are a very beautiful girl, if you walk around like that people are bound to get… _distracted_." I emphasized the last word, leaning into her luscious pink lips.

A slight smile lifted at the corner of her mouth, giving me the burst of confidence I needed. I jerked forward pressing my lips to hers, she froze for a second, but then I felt her relax slightly.

I ran my tongue along her lips, and then pushed it in between them, massaging it against hers.

She pulled away moments later, out of breath and flushed.

"Bella, I'm parked just outside. Why don't you come with me to my car?"

She nodded shyly.

I picked up my bags and headed out; she was right behind me.

We got to the car, and I threw our things in the trunk, glancing around quickly to make sure everyone else had left, they had. The lot was empty.

I opened the back door and climbed in; she followed me, and then sat in the seat, looking slightly awkward.

"Bella, have you ever done this before?" I gestured between the two of us.

She shook her head, "No… but, I really like you Miss Brandon… And… I want to do this, I just don't know _how_."

I nodded, "It's Alice, and don't worry, I'm here to teach you, aren't I?"

She smiled.

"Okay. I'm going to show you exactly how to pleasure a woman, Bella. Tell me if you want to stop at any point."

She nodded.

"First, take off your shirt," I commanded.

She jumped at my tone, but complied, quickly dropping the shirt to the floor of the car, revealing her juicy tits encased in a dark red and black laced bra. She saw me looking and quickly unclasped the bra, too, exposing her taut nipples.

"Fuck, Bella, you're tits are so big… Now, take off your skirt. If you can even call it that." I groaned, and moved my hand to play with my own nipple through my blue silk shirt.

She slid the skirt down her legs, giving me a full view of her ass and her matching thong.

"Now put your hands on the window ledge, and get on your knees. Make sure your pussy is facing me," I said, pulling my own blouse off.

She did as I said, sticking her thong covered ass in my face. I stared at the sweet luscious flesh in confusion.

Of course! I hadn't told her to remove her panties I thought, mentally slapping myself.

"Take off your thong and spread your knees," I ordered.

She grabbed the thong and slid it off. Then got back into position, and spread her knees as far as was possible in the tiny amount of space.

I stared hungrily at her glistening little cunt. She was completely bare, a fact which I rejoiced in, and her juice was dripping down her thighs; she was enjoying this as much as I was.

I reached out and ran a finger along her slit, making her gasp and shudder.

I stuck my finger in my mouth and hummed appreciatively.

"Bella, you taste fucking amazing. I want more. But this isn't about you." I pulled my skirt off and threw it on the floor, my panties and bra following soon after.

I ran my finger over my nipples once more, then down to my clit.

I moaned. I was hot, I knew that, so getting off alone was not a problem. I could get turned on just looking at myself, but with Bella, too, I was extremely horny.

"Turn around, Bella. Look at me." She turned eagerly, taking in my nakedness and blushing.

"Now, I want you to touch yourself while you look at me. Can you do that? Can you stick your fingers in your tight little cunt while I do the same?"

She nodded again, but stayed frozen as I sat back and opened my legs, hooking one along the back of the seat and leaving the other on the floor, then roughly thrusting two fingers into my hole.

I glared at her, "Bella. Do it."

She nodded swiftly, and got into position, mirroring me. She snaked her fingers down her body and then rubbed one around her clit, moaning softly.

"Don't moan like that. Do it louder. Swear, and say my name."

I continued to pump myself in and out, my fingers squelching in the wetness that was leaking onto the seat below me, as Bella began to groan loudly, "Oh Alice. Fuck. I need you to fuck me!"

I grinned, "You want me to fuck you?"

She nodded.

"Well… as it happens, I have just the thing." Leaving my fingers where they were, I reached forward into the glove compartment, and pulled out a large flesh-coloured strap-on cock.

Bella moaned loudly when she saw it. Pumping her fingers in and out even harder than before and using her other hand to circle her clit.

I threw it to her, "Bella. Fuck me."

She nodded, and pulled her fingers out, and began struggling to attach the cock.

I turned and got into the position she had been in moments earlier, with my hands braced on the window ledge.

I felt the rubber at my entrance, and bucked my ass upwards. I felt the cool lube slid down my lips and I moaned loudly as Bella plunged it into me, filling me until I could feel her hip bones on my ass.

"Do it harder, Bella," I commanded.

She complied again, ramming into my cunt over and over as I got closer and closer to my orgasm.

Suddenly, the cock hit my G-spot and I screamed as Bella pulled out. My cum spurted out of my pussy, splattering various parts of the leather upholstery. I came down off my high and turned to find Bella lying on her back with her legs spread driving four fingers into her pussy repeatedly in the gap beneath the toy.

I noticed something sticky on her tits and realised that I'd cum on her. I groaned loudly at the thought and felt yet more wetness slide onto my thighs.

I lay back and fucked myself with my fingers to the rhythm of Bella's moans as I watched her cum violently, thrashing around the seat and dousing me in her juices.

"Oh Fuck!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, bucking her hips, cum _still _squirting out of her.

I felt my second orgasm begin, so I climbed on top of her chest as my walls clenched, covering her chest in my juices, once again.

We collapsed backward, and I stared openly at Bella. Her hair was sticking up everywhere, she was blushing furiously, and her pussy lips were nicely swollen and red.

I smiled. Mission accomplished!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

I looked over at Alice, who was half laying on me and grinning like a Cheshire cat, and suddenly the seriousness of the situation came crashing down on me like a ton of bricks.

I just had sex with my professor.

My _female _professor.

If you'd asked me last week which staff member I would be most interested in fucking, I would have had to settle for Professor Banner in my Bio class… But that skirt she was wearing…

I couldn't believe that it was my voice I was hearing as I said those words, _Well, miss, I think you like it._

What was I thinking? And what did this make me…?

I was a virgin. Well… half a virgin now, I guess. Not that I had never played with a dildo before. Angela had bought me one once as a gag gift. I'd been insanely embarrassed. But, one night, with wine and a ton of homework, I had tried using it. Not knowing it would hurt so fucking badly and cause me to bleed, of course. Needless to say, I had never used one again after that painful experience. I'd had a few fantasies about women before… but mostly with a guy involved, too… I'd thought nothing of it until now.

So did I just like women? I thought back to high school…that cute senior I had spent forever day dreaming about. The things my mind had done to him… Nope... Definitely not just women.

So, I liked both?

I scrunched my eyes shut, hoping when I reopened them this whole confusing mess would be nothing but a dream.

No such luck.

Alice frowned at me, "Are you ok?"

I just groaned.

"I-I…" She sat up and grabbed her shirt, "I'm so sorry. This was so inappropriate. I can't even believe I…"

I cut her off quickly, "No, no. It's not your fault… Definitely not." I sat up, and blushed as I felt a sticky liquid on my chest.

I looked down at myself then, and my blush only intensified. I still had the strap-on around me, and wetness was seeping onto the seat from between my thighs.

"We… should talk…" Alice said slowly.

I nodded, "Yes. Not here though."

"Mm. How did you get to school?" She asked, pulling on her shirt.

"I drove. Why?"

She nodded, "That's good. Perhaps we could go back to my house? I live on the edge of town."

I hesitated.

"Of course, if you have to get back for your father I understand…?" She sounded disappointed.

"No, no. He's never home until at least seven… But are you sure it's ok? I mean, what happens if we get… caught?" I asked cautiously.

"Well, we've got more of a chance of being caught here." She looked up and down my body hungrily, "And besides, you need to clean up."

Alice pulled on her skirt and climbed into the driver's seat.

I decided it would be better for me to remain still, considering the mess, and spent the journey to Alice's naked in the backseat.

I looked out of the window as we pulled up and was surprised to see a white mansion with a large garden stretching out behind it. I had previously been under the impression that teaching salaries weren't particularly great.

Alice noticed me staring, and shrugged, "I have wealthy parents…"

She handed me her coat. I wrapped it around me and began picking up the various articles of clothing on the floor quickly and following her in, the strap-on obstructing my movement somewhat.

She took me straight to the bathroom, and switched on the shower. Then, taking my soiled clothing with her, she was off in a flash, allowing me some privacy to get my head on straight.

I dropped the coat, and undid the straps around my hips, the contraption fell to my ankles with a thud and I quickly stepped around it.

I stepped under the water and let my body relax. I needed to decide what to do… Firstly, did I want to continue this…thing with Alice?

Secondly, did Alice want to continue this thing?

And, most importantly, what would the repercussions of this _thing _be?

Yes. Possibly. Who knows.

The more I thought about the situation, the more determined I became. I was Isabella Swan, resident virgin and all round goodie-two-shoes. I arrived home on time every night, did my homework, and cooked Charlie's dinner… Why shouldn't I have a little fun? Get a little experience and a few miles under my belt?

Let's face it - I knew very little about sex. I have never watched porn in my life. It's not that I hadn't thought about it, but the idea of going into the adult video store to rent or purchase one scared the shit out of me, quite frankly. My computer was too slow and virus ridden, and the only bookstore within a thirty mile radius sold volumes on new-age crystal-healing crap.

But that could change. Alice could teach me, she knew this stuff already.

I stepped out of the shower feeling a lot less confused – I knew what I wanted.

I wrapped myself in a towel, and, picking up the toy and the coat, I walked downstairs.

Alice was sitting at the breakfast bar in a robe; she looked up as I walked in and smiled, "Hi…"

I smiled back, genuinely this time, and sat down opposite her. She opened her mouth to speak, but I cut her off, "Alice, I don't have any experience. I'm... not very experienced. Hell, I didn't even know I liked girls until this afternoon… But I want to learn. I said that earlier, and I still mean it. I need you to teach me." I suddenly reprimanded myself; shit what if she didn't want this? I quickly added, "That is, if you still want to?"

She smiled wider now, "Of course I want to, Bella. I just want to make sure you're ok with it?"

I nodded, "I want to learn. Please… Miss Brandon… Alice, I want you."

She stood up, "In that case. There's no time like the present, Bella, come with me."

She looked at the toy in my hand slyly and smirked, "And bring that with you."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Alice led the way to her room, her hips swaying confidently, and I felt my resolve weaken…

_What was I thinking?_

_I tried to imagine what my mom might think if she knew…I couldn't. The situation was just too surreal._

Alice opened her bedroom door and ushered me in ahead of her. The room was painted a dark burgundy, with dark wood furnishings around the room, the most striking of which was the large four poster bed with sumptuous red blankets and dozens of pillows on top.

The room was Alice, personified: sexy, sultry and mysterious. I instantly loved it.

As I looked around the room in awe, I felt Alice press her petite body against my back, and I turned slowly to face her.

The moment my lips were in reach, she began to kiss me. Softly at first, then harder, the passion building within us.

I ran my hands up her back to rub the outline of her slim shoulders as she wound her fingers into my still-damp hair.

As I began to reach for the tie of her robe, she pulled back.

_I instantly began to worry about what I'd done wrong. I thought it was going well. It was right…?_

_But then, with nothing to compare it to, how would I know, right?_

To my relief, Alice laughed, "Uh-uh Bella. These are my lessons remember." She purred while wagging her finger back and forth. "Now then… Where shall we start?" She looked me up and down and then spoke firmly, "Drop the towel."

I complied instantly, knowing that this was one of those situations where it was best to take the band-aid approach.

She hummed appreciatively then smiled wickedly, "On the bed."

I moved quickly, trying not to trip over my now discarded towel, and sat on the edge of the bed.

Alice moved her fingers excruciatingly slowly down her body and carefully untied the robe, revealing her completely naked body to me.

I felt a stirring sensation in my lower stomach as I looked over her gorgeous form. She moved closer and carefully placed a knee on either side of my body, lowering herself onto my lap until our bodies were as tightly pressed together as possible.

She brought her lips back to mine quickly and pushed me onto my back, never moving her body an inch from mine.

I felt her nipples lightly brush against mine and moaned into her mouth at the sensation.

I'd never experienced pleasure like this before this afternoon, and every touch and caress excited and scared me.

I felt more wetness pooling between my legs, as she reached down and began rubbing her thumb in small circles around my clit. She moved her lips up my cheek to my ear and whispered, "Bella, as much as I'd love to make you cum again and again, this is about you learning, so let lesson one commence…"

With that she rolled over so I was straddling her, and shuffled us back into the center of the bed. "Now then," she began in an authoritative tone, taking my hand. "You're going to pleasure me with your hand Bella, and I'll talk you through it. It's not so difficult. Just think of earlier, how you screamed my name as you shoved your fingers into your tight little hole over and over… Can you do that?"

I nodded, mutely, as juices flowed down my legs_. I could do that…_

I started on her tits first, massaging and squeezing as hard as I could without hurting. I pinched her nipples and twisted them between my thumb and forefinger watching them pebble under my fingers before moving my body downward.

I began to leave a trail of kisses around her chest and neck while I snaked my fingers down between her wide open legs to find her dripping slit.

I spread the moisture up and down with my fingers, stopping to rub her clit a few times, trying to remember how it would feel to me.

Alice moaned and bucked her hips, then, cupping her breasts she pushed them toward my mouth, feeding me her nipples.

I took her left peak into my mouth and sucked hard as I inserted a finger into her pussy and began to thrust it in and out slowly, twisting and rubbing as I went.

Alice tutted above me, "Don't you remember? I can take more than that Bella. Come on, I want to really feel you."

I added another finger and sped up slightly, swapping the attentions of my mouth to her other breast.

"More, Bella. Come on. You can do this. Harder." She panted.

I added two more fingers and began to pump them in and out of her wet pussy almost violently, moving my other hand to her clit.

My arms were cramping up, but there was no way I was stopping now. Juices were leaking down my thighs, and I felt Alice's cum pooling in my hand as she hit her climax.

"Oh, god. Oh, fuck!" She panted out breathlessly.

I bit down on her nipple, then hummed loudly, trying to imitate her earlier tone. "That's it, Alice baby. Come nice and hard on me. Ughh, yes."

My encouragement turned into a moan as she arched her back off the bed. Her hot juices dripped along my hand and onto her thighs. I lapped it up greedily; she tasted heavenly. Alice smiled down at me as I finished lapping her juices.

"Wow, you do learn fast, don't you, little Bella?" She smirked. I grunted.

With a final spasm, Alice collapsed back onto the bed, sweat coating her body.

_I think that went pretty well._


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

I sat, still straddling Alice's thighs and feeling very pleased with myself, as I caught my breath.

Alice grinned seductively beneath me; her chest heaving erratically. I couldn't help but notice the way this made her breasts move…

I felt my arousal begin to build as I watched her, and, as if she could read my mind, she lifted up and pushed me off of her and onto my back, "That was very well done, Bella. I think you definitely deserve a reward." She crawled on all fours above me, allowing her glorious breasts to sway before my eyes, hypnotizing me.

She reached onto the bed behind me, and, before I could blink, was attaching the strap-on, this time to her own waist.

I shivered in anticipation as rose onto her knees. The cock was standing at attention, and she ran her tiny hand along it, caressing it gently, and adding lube to the fake cock as she began to move backwards.

She sat up against the head board of her bed and spread her legs wide, revealing everything to me.

Despite having just climaxed, she looked ready to go again and began to massage her swollen clit, still keeping her other hand on the cock at all times.

"Time for your reward, Bella…" She crooked a finger at me, and I crawled across the bed toward her like a puppet on a string.

As soon as I was close enough, she gripped my hips and pulled me forward, positioning my entrance over the toy.

I sank down slowly, sighing in ecstasy as it stretched my pussy wide open. It hurt a little, but the pain only added to the pleasure…

Suddenly, Alice was reaching away from me and into a drawer beside the bed, pulling out yet another dildo.

I briefly stopped to wonder how she managed to conjure these things practically out of thin air… First the glove compartment, now the end table, but that thought was quickly replaced with others as she drew the plastic toy into her mouth, licking the head in circles, then forcing it so far into her mouth I thought she'd surely gag… But no, she took all of it with grace, and then pulled it back out.

I became nervous as she brought it to my mouth, thinking she wanted me to do the same, so I shut my lips tightly.

She laughed, only dragging it once across my mouth, before moving it down to my tits, "Don't worry, Bella, when we get to blow jobs, we'll be practicing on real cocks."

I didn't want to think about what that meant, so I pushed the thought to the back of my mind and tried to focus.

I pulled my hips up and pushed down harder, fucking the cock for all I was worth, using Alice's shoulders as leverage.

She ran the dildo along my chest, occasionally slapping one of my tits before opening her legs wider beneath me.

I understood what she was going to do and decided to use my initiative for once. I got onto my knees and turned so my back and ass were facing Alice, and reached down and guided the cock back into my cunt, groaning as my fingers brushed against my clit.

Then, I took the dildo from Alice's hands and pushed it into her heated core. Her hands were gripping my hips tightly, guiding my movements as she began to moan softly, "Oh God, yeah, Bella… That's it… Right there… Ugh…"

I couldn't stop the gloating smile from spreading across my face as I slammed down on the rubber cock while furiously thrusting the dildo into her hot wet core.

Alice mewled and groaned beneath me, spurring me on even more. I'm not sure where the sudden burst of bravery came from, but, before I knew it, I had slowed my bounces and began sliding back and forth with the cock buried deep within me. I concentrated more on pleasing Alice and began flicking at her swollen bud while pulling the dildo in and out at an excruciatingly slow pace.

"Oh god! Please, Bella, I need more…faster…harder…aggggg…."

I wiggled my butt playfully and continued on with the torture, loving the feeling of being in control, knowing it was me and only me who could bring her to the realms of ecstasy she was desperately yearning for.

"I see…..you want to play dirty, then." Alice groaned. I smiled.

"Well, let's see how long that will last when I do this…."Alice purred and slapped my ass.

I yelped in surprise, it didn't really hurt. In fact, it felt pretty fucking good.

I sped up the pace of my finger, swirling it around her clit and pinching it lightly.

Alice bucked her hips up into me and groaned. _Awww… She liked that, did she?_

I was feeling overly cocky with my new found surge of dominance, and, topping that off with my almost painfully building climax, I thought I'd try one more thing, something I had done a few times to myself and, surprisingly, liked.

I tentatively raised my hand and brought it back down swiftly, smacking her swollen clit. Alice gasped and shuddered below me. I knew she was nearing her climax and wanted nothing more than to fall over the edge with her.

I began grinding my hips roughly, revelling in the intense combination of the huge cock stretching me and the dildo I was plunging into Alice grazing my clit with each thrust.

"Hmmm…. Alice…I'm…so close…..come with me baby…."

I felt Alice's body tense and quiver just as my own orgasm shot through me. I flung my head back and moaned in ecstasy as I felt Alice's little finger slide into my ass, causing my orgasm to intensify tenfold.

I fell sideways, curled into Alice's side as the waves of pleasure died down, smiling like a crazy person.

Alice gazed down at me and placed a small kiss on my forehead, "Very well done, Bella. You are such a good student. I was pleasantly surprised by your reaction to my finger there..." I felt my cheeks flame slightly from mild embarrassment, but, honestly, couldn't bring myself to actually be embarrassed. I had enjoyed it, and Alice didn't seem put off by it. So, I just smiled and burrowed my head further into her chest.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 ~**

After we got cleaned up and nicely showered, Alice drove me back to the school parking lot so I could get my truck and drive home.

Charlie was surely wondering where the hell I was. Mind you, for the life of me, I couldn't understand why he was still so damn protective of me. I mean, really, I am twenty years old now. An adult. And he should start treating me like one. I had decided to stay at home and go to a college nearby to take care of Charlie. I personally didn't see the point in trekking halfway across the country to get an education I could receive right here, close to home, where I could continue to make sure my father ate decent meals. Not to mention the savings by staying home. Not having dorm fees, or rent to pay, left me with a lot more spending money. Not that I ever did anything that warranted spending it. I stayed home most evenings working on school work or watching some fishing channel with Charlie. When I did go out, it was usually with my only real friend, Angela. Angela, like me, was very inexperienced and naïve. She, too, had yet to lose her virginity. And, like me, was nervous about doing such a thing and the possible changes doing 'the deed' would inflict on our rather easy going lives.

She was dating a guy named Ben, and had been, since high school. Apparently, he claimed they were ready, but she was just not so easily convinced. I'm sure they had done other things besides actual sex. But, being the daughter of a reverend had its repercussions. She had it drilled into her head from a very young age that your virginity was something you saved for your wedding night. And, even in this age and time, she had a hard time shaking what had been her forced beliefs for so long.

I, on the other hand, had no such beliefs. I just thought I would like to save such a life altering event for someone I at least had an inclination of feelings for. Not just any random Joe willing to take on the daunting task of breaking me in.

Alice handing me a large piece of paper pulled me from my thoughts. I shook my head and looked over at her, suddenly feeling inadequate and not sure of what I should say. She smiled at me and grabbed my empty hand in hers.

"Okay, Bella, here is my cell phone number. Memorize that shit. Program it into your phone. You're going to be seeing it a lot. I just know beyond this…" Alice waggled her finger between us, "we are going to become the best of friends."

I believed her, too. She was just so easy to talk to and had such a bubbly easy-going personality. It would be more of a challenge to dislike her than to get along with her.

Alice leaned forward and wrapped her tiny arms around me, squeezing gently before pulling back and settling back into her seat.

I climbed out of the car and headed for my hulking beast of a truck. Climbing in and slamming the door I turned the key in the ignition and silently did a happy dance when it roared to life on the first try.

I waved goodbye to Alice as I pulled out of the long drive.

I took the long way home, taking my time and just losing myself in my thoughts and the beauty around me. It was a good hour and a half drive to Forks from Port Angeles on a normal day. Today, I would surely take upwards of two hours to reach the comfort of my bed. I quickly flipped open my phone, before I forgot, and called home, leaving a message on the machine to let Charlie know I had to stay late to work on a project, but was on my way home now and not to worry.

As I pulled onto the almost bare interstate, I let my mind wander over how I had gotten to where I was today. Trying to pinpoint the exact moment in my life that I had switched from a normal boy-teasing girl to a girl with attractions to both men and women.

My childhood was kind of fuzzy. I remembered bits and pieces. Mostly falls and accidents that wound up landing me in the hospital or the walk-in clinic. Those moments seemed to stay with me no matter how much I wanted to forget them. I was a klutz by nature and had come to terms with my two left feet, and non-complying legs, years ago. But that still didn't mean I wanted to remember each and every embarrassing catastrophe my lower extremities had inflicted on me.

All throughout high school, I had remained in the same clique of sorts. The same bunch of friends for the duration of my time in Forks High. Ben, Lauren, Jessica, Tyler, Mike, Jacob, Eric and, of course, Angela. We had all been the best of friends. Doing everything together; from starting up the debate team to sharing the intimate details of our first kisses.

We were all prepared to go our separate ways when high school finished, but decided a month long trip together would be a nice way to start the beginning of the rest of our lives. We decided we wanted to begin our month on the road, visiting different places and seeing different sights and ended with us being too lazy and renting a cabin out in the woods and drinking ourselves into oblivion.

That month was when I received my first… and second kiss. Both of which I would never forget.

My first being from Mike Newton, who had wandering hands and the mind of a perverted moron. I had slapped him right after he tried to plunge his slimy tongue down my throat and stormed off back into the cabin. We barely talked the rest of the trip and had yet to speak again since he left for Dartmouth almost two years ago.

The second happened the last night of our trip. We all drank more than any human should be capable of. Sharing hugs and telling stories around the campfire of our most treasured memories of our time together. As the evening died down, Ben and Angela wandered off to immerse themselves in one of their many dry hump sessions.

While Lauren and Tyler the "floozies" of our bunch were half naked and almost fucking mere feet away from us in a bush.

Mike was off sulking somewhere, big surprise there. And Jake and Eric had already passed out drunk in their chairs, drooling like rabid animals with their mouths dangling open.

Jessica and I, being the only people conscious and not otherwise occupied, staggered into the cabin with our teeth chattering from the cold evening air.

We giggled and flopped around till we were sprawled out on the den floor, entangled in a mound of blankets.

I remember squirming and tickling Jessica's feet to get them out of my face. We sat up at the exact same moment, almost bashing our heads together with the effort it took to steady ourselves. And, once our faces were that close together, it just came so easily. Our mouths crashed together in a heated chaste kiss. Jessica moaned against my lips causing my girly parts to drip with excitement. Our tongues tentatively touched, and it was like a fire had ignited in my mouth. I grabbed her head roughly and pushed my tongue through her slack lips, moaning huskily as the fire continued to rage inside.

Jessica pulled back, all too soon for my liking, and giggled, saying she always wanted to do that just to see what it was like.

We had chalked it up to us being drunk and curious. But now….now, I knew that that very moment was a life defining moment for me. That was the moment I went from being a picky heterosexual to a confused, closet, bi-sexual.

I pulled up behind Charlie's cruiser just as this realization hit me. Jessica had been when I should have known. I had been so blind. No wonder when we went out and I saw real hot girls, I gawked. Not because I simply found them attractive or wished I looked like them or had a body like them. No. It was because I wanted them; I was _attracted to_ them.

"Damn." I muttered as I dropped out of the cab of my truck and trudged into the house. "Who would have known…"

I climbed into bed with a bagel and glass of juice in hand. It was already nine o'clock, and Charlie was fast asleep. I finished my bagel and downed my juice before pulling up the covers and falling fast asleep. Visions of Alice writhing below me playing through my mind. _So hot!_


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

I made my way into Alice's class with some trepidation. There was no way we would behave the same after last night, amazing as it was. I could only pray that no one would notice. I didn't want to get kicked out of the course, and I certainly didn't want Alice to lose her job.

As I took my usual seat at the back, I let my eyes quickly roam over her petite body... She wore a tight skirt again, with a low cut shirt... I sighed under my breath, remembering all the sinful things we'd done.

I was pulled from my day dreams by the sound of her melodious voice, "Good morning class." Her eyes met mine, but she looked away so quickly that I couldn't be sure I hadn't imagined it, "I'm going to be assigning you each a study partner today, so listen up..."

She read from a list of names, eventually reaching mine, "Bella Swan with Jasper Hale."

I looked around until I saw a gorgeous tall blonde guy wave and stand up in the front and make eye contact with me. I said a quick prayer of thanks and did my best to smile serenely.

He took the seat next to me and spoke in a deep, smooth southern accent, "Hi, I'm Jasper. Nice to make your acquaintance."

I almost expected him to bow and kiss my hand he was so gentlemanly.

Instead, he pulled a refill pad and pen from his bag and set them on the desk, shooting me one last smile before facing the front of the class.

I studied him closely for a moment, noting that he looked a little older than the average student here... He was probably in his mid to late twenties, whereas I was only 20.

Suddenly, the door at the front opened, and the boy... no, the man, who walked in literally took my breath away. He eclipsed Alice and Jasper combined, with bronze, tousled hair, the green eyes which dazzled me from all the way across the room as he conversed with Alice at the front.

Alice turned to us then, and spoke with authority, "Class, this is our new TA. He'll be here to help out, and maybe even take a few classes. I'll let him introduce himself..."

"Hi, I'm Edward Cullen. I'm currently studying for a Ph.D in Biology and taking English as my minor, so I'm here to help in any way possible." he said in a velveteen voice.

_I can think of a few ways you can help me... Alone. In my bedroom. Tonight._

He then stepped aside, and Alice continued the class. At least, I think she did. I, personally, had no idea. Between Jasper, Alice, and that green eyed Adonis, I didn't know where to look. (Well, I did - those green eyes were too good to be true.)

I spent the rest of the hour mostly having fantasies involving my lab partner, my professor and the TA. God, I was messed up.

I blamed my parents.

By the time the clock struck the hour, signalling the end of the lesson, my panties were quite soaked. Thankfully, it was straight home for me – the one advantage of community college – so I wouldn't stay frustrated for too long.

Just as I was about to start the car, there was a tap on my window. I looked out, and was shocked to find Jasper's beautiful and smiling face looking back at me.

I rolled down the window. "Hi Bella, I don't know if you're busy now, but I was wondering if you'd like to get a coffee with me now? There's a place just down the road. I thought it'd be good to get to know each other if we're going to be working together for a semester…"

I smiled and pulled the keys out of the ignition. "Sure." My other plans could wait an hour. Probably.

We walked in comfortable silence most of the way, only breaking it with the occasional question, "How old are you?" Jasper asked.

"I'm 20. You?"

"28. I'm an older student; mostly due to my own procrastination after high school, I'm afraid. But better late than never…" He explained.

I laughed, "I guess so. What did you do instead, then?"

He shrugged, "Travelled around the country in a minivan doing pretty much nothing for about 3 years, then moved back to Midland, Texas to look after my mom while she was ill…"

I frowned, "If you're from Midland, how did you end up at college in Washington?"

"Well," he seemed to hesitate, and I wondered if this was the wrong question, but as he opened the door of the coffee place for me, he continued, "My mom died, and I had a sudden burst of… restlessness, I think you would call it, along with a healthy dose of motivation. I'm actually pre-med now. I am just taking English as a minor because the written world is such a passion of mine."

I smiled, "Well, that answers my next question. How're you liking Washington, so far?"

"It's alright… Pretty cold and wet though, which isn't so great."

I nodded, "I can empathize, I moved here from Phoenix when I was in high school. It sucks. Really. I've barely seen the sun since then."

"It must be hot in the summer, though, right? He asked, looking slightly panicked. " I thought this was just the winter weather?".

I laughed, "It gets warmer, don't worry. It just doesn't get much dryer. So, where are you living?"

"I have an apartment right near campus, which is surprisingly nice, really. You?" We moved over to the counter, and ordered a coffee each. He offered to pay, but didn't argue when I refused – something I appreciated greatly. This _wasn't_ a date.

As I walked to a table, I noticed a tall blonde walk in the door. For the first time in my life, I actually checked out a woman in public. Properly, the way I would have checked out a guy. The girl had awesome tits, and I could just imagine my lips attached to them…

We took a seat, and I came back to reality and answered his question, "Well, I thought I could live at home. My dad lives quite near. And it's alright, but just recently I've had a bit more of a social life, and I'm beginning to think it wasn't such a good idea…"

He laughed, "Dad's not so keen on male visitors then…?"

"He's chief of police – it makes him a little over protective, and he's not really keen on anyone these days." I explained, taking a sip of my drink.

"Why's that?" he asked, seeming genuinely interested.

"Well, he and my mom divorced when I was small, and really, since then, he's just become more and more set in his ways and unsociable." I said sadly.

"Then he's worried he'll lose you if you start to date someone?" he guessed, very observantly. "And on some levels, you don't want to move out, because you know it'll worry him."

I smiled, "You should be in a psychology class I think…"

He smiled wryly, "It's a gift, and you're like an open book… Very easy to read."

I raised my eyebrows, "Really? So, what else have you decided about me?"

"Well, for a start, you're bored with the life you had before college, with living in your father's house… am I right?" he asked.

I nodded, slightly amazed, "Go on…"

"You're bi?"

I restrained a gasp, and a denial touched my lips before I had a chance to think about it… So what if he knew? "How did you know?" I asked.

"Well, you checked Edward out, the TA, in case you were too busy drooling over him to catch his name," he said teasingly. "And then I saw the way you checked out that blonde girl, who's name, by the way, is Rosalie, and, unfortunately for you, has a very large boyfriend."

I laughed, "Well… You're very good. I have to admit."

"I'm not even done yet, either… You have the hots for our little Miss Brandon, too, right?" he asked, grinning.

I must have turned crimson, because suddenly, he laughed out loud, "Hang on… You two are… _together_? I mean, I know she's bi too, and she was giving you some pretty intense looks, but _wow_. I didn't think you had it in you!"

I blanched. How could he have known that? My face wasn't that readable. Sure, by looking at me one might be able to tell I lusted after Alice, but to be able to tell I had already been with her-was with her?

"Jasper, please, stop. You are embarrassing me, and what if someone hears you?"

"So, I am right. Wow! Okay, Bells, let's head out for a walk. You have some serious explaining to do." With that, he cocked his brow at me, held out his hand and led me to the park across the street.

To say I was nervous was an understatement. I was a bundle of wrecked, jellied nerves. That's what I was. I feared if Jasper let go of my arm I would crumble to the cold earth in a pitiful puddle of basketcaseness. I realized that wasn't even a word, but was the only kind of word I could formulate in my frazzled brain that would even begin to describe how I was feeling in this moment.

"Alright, spill." Jasper growled. He fucking growled at me...what the hell was that?

I looked at him questioningly; he at least had the decency to act embarrassed, flushing slightly and averting his eyes.

"Sorry, that came out a little harsh..."

"It's okay," I interrupted, "I know it is a bit much to grasp. You are my friend, my only friend here, actually, and I want to tell you. I'm...I'm...just a little ashamed..."

"Ashamed? Why? Seriously, Bells, if I was tapping that ass I so would not be hiding the fact. Damn woman! Have you even seen her? Dude, she is fucking hot. And those tight little skirts she wears, I mean, really, I would give my left nut just to be able to kiss her." Jasper's voice trailed off, all dreamy like, and I looked over at him curiously, all embarrassment lost as I noticed his glazed eyes and wistful expression. Oh, my goodness, Jasper had a thing for Alice too!


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**BPOV**

I woke up late the morning after my enlightening conversation with Jasper intending to spend a quiet day at home. Charlie was at work, and I wanted to use the peace and quiet that would leave me with to do some laundry and catch up on homework.

That plan didn't last long.

At about 11 o'clock the phone rang, and I saw excitedly that it was Alice calling me. "Hello?" I answered, trying not to let my enthusiasm show. I wanted to sound nonchalant and mature about the whole thing after all…

"Morning, Bella. I was thinking… if you wanted to stop by after lunch we could start our next lesson...?"

I agreed quickly, probably ruining my meager attempt at playing it cool. She said, "Great! See you soon." And hung up, leaving me alone and already worked up in my kitchen, my slit wet and my clit throbbing with anticipation of the possibilities for the afternoon's activities.

I spent half an hour in the shower, shaving my legs twice and applying countless coats of moisturizer before spending yet another thirty minutes debating over lingerie.

I eventually settled on a lacy red set with intricate black detail, which I pulled on under a simple pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

~~oo~~

I pulled my battered old truck into Alice's drive at about fifteen minutes past twelve, after spending almost thirty minutes driving around aimlessly just trying to kill time before I could actually go to Alice without seeming a little too anxious. I took a deep breath and had to stop myself from running up to her porch.

_Take your time, Bella._ I internally scolded myself. _It's not like she is going anywhere, you are blocking her drive with your monstrosity, after all._

I chuckled softly at my internal monologue. God, my thoughts were too damn funny, insecure and possessive already.

As normally as I could, I made my way up to her door and raised my hand to knock. Before my knuckles had a chance to hit the dark wooden door, it flew open, revealing a half dressed Alice, momentarily, before her body collided with mine. Her hot wet lips clashed with mine in a wild frenzy, her one hand snaked its way into my hair while the other trailed quickly down my body straight to my pussy; rubbing and tugging, tongues twirling and teasing, it was fucking perfect.

I reluctantly pulled back, wanting to get inside her house and away from any nosy neighbors she might have.

"Fuck, is it sad that I missed the taste of you?" Alice laughed huskily, her bright eyes tinged with dark lust filled specks.

"I hope not, "I teased back, "or else that would mean that both of us are pathetically needy."

Alice pulled me through the doorway with her and closed the door with the heel of her bare foot. My pussy twitched as I watched her ass sway as she led me up the stairs and towards her bedroom.

We wasted no time stripping me of my clothing. Once I was down to my undergarments, I reached behind me to flick my bra undone, but Alice stopped me, placing her hand on mine and shaking her head slowly.

"Don't… it's fucking hot, and I want to fuck the shit out of you with it on." She said huskily, and my knees almost gave out on me.

Her lips were on mine then, eager and savage. She pushed me back onto the bed and straddled my waist; the heat from her pussy seeping through her underwear against my already warm and tightening belly.

"Feels so good…" I whimpered as her kisses headed south, her fingers playing at the seams of my panties as her tongue twirled around my belly button. And just when I felt her sweet hot breath tickle my thighs, she shot up and sprang towards her side table; 'the drawer of fantastical finds' as I liked to call it.

I watched with excitement bubbling in me as she bent over and pulled out an assortment of…dildos and vibrators? _Oh shit, yes. I want to fuck her sweet pussy with that one_. My eyes widened in awe as she pulled out and flicked on a monster of a toy, the head began gyrating and the second, smaller, head began buzzing as it lit a bright red. My excitement switching to curiosity as it began flashing from color to color. Red to blue, blue to green, green to purple. It was a Disco Dick that would surely cause intense colors to explode with its use. My mind swam with pretty colors and images of those colors lighting up Alice's tight, pretty pussy. I laid back as Alice crawled back up on the bed, a mischievous glint in her eyes. She smacked the double-ended dildo against my quivering thigh and smirked as I hissed. The sting it brought my skin was surprisingly pleasant and caused my arousal to pool in my panties.

"Today, I am going to teach you about sharing pleasure. Inflicting pleasure onto others will do a world of wonder for your own pleasure. Slide your panties off, Bella." She commanded. I squirmed anxiously, my feet getting caught in the lace in my haste and leaving me slightly tangled. Alice giggled and helped glide the panties the rest of the way off, her hand coming back up my thigh to tease at my aching entrance. "So wet already, little Bella, what a horny naughty girl you are. Does something excite you?"

I nodded. "No, answer me verbally." She said in a clipped, no-nonsense tone.

"I…I want to fuck you…with that one." I stammered while pointing at the disco dick at the edge of the bed.

Alice smiled knowingly. "Of course you do. It is a pretty spectacular thing to play with. If you behave during your lesson I will allow you to fuck my pussy with it. Does that please you, Bella?" she asked as she guided me onto my back. She, herself, also leaned back, sitting directly across from me, then spreading her legs wide to give me a nice view of her glistening sex. I smacked my lips together, now switching to wanting nothing more than to dive face first into her pool of sweetness. Damn, I just couldn't get enough of this girl. The thoughts, ideas and reactions she drew from me were staggering and left my head reeling, not having any clue where to start or which I actually wanted more. Alice slapping the dong against my dripping sex left me with a whole new train of thoughts. I wanted it inside me, I wanted it inside her. NOW!

"Please…" I whimpered as my hips rose to press into the cool latex dick.

"Such a naughty selfish girl, aren't you, Bella? Always wanting to please yourself." This threw me for a loop. She was right. Here I was desperate, for my own release, my own gratification; I never once stopped to think about her needs. How much she might want it in her.

I slowly sat up and leaned forward. Taking control and hoping she would not chastise me for it. I took the dong from her and stuck one end into my mouth, sucking it as deep as my throat allowed before twirling my tongue around the head of it; lathering it up and readying it for her before I ran it along her slick slit. Alice whimpered and closed her eyes; her nose crinkling as I slowly slid it into her. I moved it in and out of her slowly, torturously, enjoying the sexy faces and sounds the ministrations were eliciting from her. When her breathing picked up, I reached my other hand forward and slowly began rubbing her swollen little bud, she came instantly. "Fuck, yes…fuck…" Her head flew back and her back arched upwards as her whole body convulsed; it was fucking hot as hell to watch. I pulled my hand away from her clit and grabbed the other end of the dong, placing it at my own entrance as I noticed Alice's body go slack and fall back, panting against the mattress. Once I had the dong in both of us, I used both hands to steady it and slowly move it back and forth between us. Alice would moan and I would sigh, then I would moan and Alice would groan. It was melodic, and the most delicious torture ever. As I felt my own impending orgasm build, my legs trembled and my breathing picked up. Soft moans falling from my lips as I clenched my eyes shut and picked up my pace. My eyes flew open just as my orgasm overtook me. Alice was now sitting up and had my nipple in between her thumb and forefinger, twisting and pinching as I flew over the edge into blissful ecstasy. My fingers went limp and let go of the dildo just as Alice fell back with the intensity of her second orgasm, screaming out my name and a whirlwind of expletives.

Fucking beautiful music.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 – **

**JPOV**

Holy hell, I couldn't get home fast enough after the conversation we had in the park this afternoon.

She confessed everything. Told me she was having sex with Professor Brandon, Alice, and not just any sex, no….that would be too easy, no, she was having sex with her out of experimentation, to learn, to explore, to be taught.

To say I was turned by the whole thing was an understatement, I was floored by it. My cock was raging in my pants. Desperate to get out, desperate for attention, for release.

Images, visions, of Alice and Bella spread bare before me, touching and licking each other taunted my mind and tortured my poor, unsatisfied, aching cock.

It was no secret I had a thing for Alice, and I was rather surprised when Bella seemed genuinely shocked by that revelation.

I had made the smallest advances on her; I knew they were not noticeable to the average person, but Alice was not average, anything but. She was spectacular, smart, funny, beautiful, sexy…oh…so very sexy, and that cocky smirk she had on her face whenever she caught me ogling her in class; by God, it was almost enough to make me come undone.

I had almost given up hope for anything with her; thinking logically, I was her student, after all. What teacher in their right mind would compromise their job just to sleep with a student? Not her, or so I thought, until Bella told me everything. Seemed Miss Brandon had a naughty side, and I had every intention of using that to my advantage to get what I wanted. I just needed to figure out what that was. What did I want from Ms. Brandon, and how would Bella now play into all that?

I quickly shed my clothes and made my way into the bathroom. Bella spread wide while Alice devoured her, her soft pink tongue flicking out and swiping the length of Bella's slit played in my mind. My hand unconsciously tugged at my straining length. I moaned huskily into the empty room as I stepped into the shower stall. I turned the water on as hot as I could bear and leaned against the cold tiles. As I dragged my hand, all too skillfully, up and down my shaft, at a slow agonizing pace, I let my vivid imagination play out its little fantasy.

_Bella arches her body upwards, pressing her wet warm center into Alice face, moaning and writhing below her, obviously very close to the brink. Alice slowly inserts two fingers into Bella's dripping core, juices glistening and sliding out as her fingers invade Bella's body. "Oh, Alice, your fingers feel so good. Fuck me, baby, fuck me so good," Bella screams out as she squirms and whimpers._

I pick up my rhythm, now seriously beating my meat as my breaths come in rapid bursts. My head falls back as my orgasm rips through me. My whole body spasming as my cock pulsates and drains in spastic spurts onto the tiles in front of me. As I stand there spent and completely blissed out, my daydream comes to a close._ Bella is now screaming out Alice's name as Alice's tongue replaces her fingers and laps at the dripping juices. Alice crawls up Bella's heaving body and places a chaste kiss on her quivering lips. "Mmmm, I taste good on you," Bella whispers softly as she curls into Alice's outstretched arm, humming in contentment._

"Fuck." I have got to either get a better imagination or, even better yet, the real fucking thing. I bet Bella's pussy looks even better with Alice's tongue all over it than I could ever conjure up in my over- active imagination.

I crawled into bed, once again rock hard and seemingly unsatisfied. With my cock in my hand, a plan on the horizon, and a smile on my face, I drifted off to a splendid place, filled with Alice and Bella, soft touches and moans of pleasure, and, of course, me, the guest of honor.

~~oo~~

I woke up in a rather cocky mood. Smile still on my face, plan firmly in mind and, yes, still as stiff as a teenage boy who had just read his first nudey magazine.

However, instead of taking care of business on my own, I decided on a new tactic, one I hoped wouldn't blow up in my face. Well, maybe I was hoping for _something _to blow up in my face…

I scurried around my room, tossed on whatever clothes my hands found contact with first, and bustled out the door into the cool, misty morning air.

I drove to school with a heavy foot and a painfully excited groin. My nerves were on edge, and, of course, just as I turned into the parking lot I had to see Miss Brandon swaying across the lot, looking like sex on legs with her tight pin-striped pencil skirt and dangerously high fuck-me-heels on.

If possible, my pants tightened even more. I groaned and tossed my head forward in frustration. "Fuck!" I cursed loudly as my head came into contact with the steering wheel, causing a loud and angry blare from the horn to scream through the empty parking lot. I slowly turned my head, my heart sitting in my throat and beating at a surely unsafe pace and let out a huge sigh of relief. Miss Brandon was nowhere to be seen, she didn't witness my total heap of patheticness. The plan could move forward, if only my body would…

On shaky legs, I made my way into the school and towards Miss Brandon's classroom. The halls were deserted; no student in their right mind wanted to come to school over an hour before class started, in fact, most were likely jut adding the finishing touches to their assignments and homework, after a late night of partying and nameless, and possibly faceless, sex. The campus would remain deserted, with the exception of the few teachers who actually came in early to set up their day's work, which also, were few and far between.

I stopped at the classroom door, took a few deep breaths… "You can do this, Whitlock, you are an attractive, desirable man, and she would be out of her mind to turn you down." With that, I straightened my shoulders, planted a shit eating grin on my face, and adjusted myself so my current situation wasn't too noticeable and opened the door, totally not prepared for what I walked in on.

I stood rooted to my spot, mouth agape and tongue dangled precariously; drool immediately began to pool in my mouth as I took in the scene before me. I silently closed the door behind me, and clicked the lock on the handle. Without so much as a second thought, I strutted forward till I was actually standing over Miss Brandon's writhing form sprawled across her desk and shamelessly ogled her. Her eyes were clamped shut, there was a little crease between her eyes and her chest was heaving frantically, soft mewls and whimpers flew from her slightly parted lips as her tiny fingers worked furiously in and out of her…her….holy shit, I think I just blew in my pants!

Her pussy had to be the sweetest thing I had ever laid eyes on. Shaped just right, bare, and the prettiest shade of light pink. Her lips were nicely swollen and her luscious nub was so swollen it almost looked painful. She arched her back, and the smell of her looming orgasm permeated my senses. That was it, I lost control of the situation and went purely on instinct. I was an animal, a sex-crazed, hormone driven animal. And I had to have this sinfully desirable woman before me now!

I reached out my hand, ghosted it over hers, mimicking her actions as my other hand slowly, agonizingly slowly undid my pants. I didn't need to worry about underwear, I had forgone those, anticipating their annoyance and was never more grateful for the foresight. I pulled myself into my hand and groaned. Shit!

Miss Brandon's eye flew open, her hand stilled, her eyes widened. I froze and braced myself for the onslaught… the rejection, and worst of all, the disgust.

I couldn't move a muscle as I watched her eyes go from startled, to frightened, to angry, to… lust?

She propped herself up on her elbows and smirked up at me, "Like what you see, baby cakes?" She purred, I couldn't respond, my heart was in my throat, my mind so confuzzled I couldn't form a coherent word, never mind respond to her. I bobbed my head like the retard I surely appeared to be and snapped my mouth open and shut a few times, trying not to nip my slack tongue in the process.

She giggled and resumed her position, closing her eyes and returning to her ministrations. What the fuck do I do now? Is that an invitation?

"Yes, it is. So, I suggest you either come a little closer and let me touch you, or close the door on your way out. This isn't a theatre."

_Huh! I have apparently lost the use of my filter as well, and am now speaking my thoughts out loud._

_Wait! Who cares, she wants me to join her. Fuck yes!_

I shut down, halted all rational thinking, and let my dick lead the way. He was much more savvy than I.

In a heartbeat I was hovering over her, my hand reached out and brushed hers away. She gasped, but did nothing to stop me. Her breathing picked up as my hand fluttered over her soft pink flesh. I groaned; I sighed; I dove right in.

My lips attached to her beautiful swollen nub, giving her no warning what so ever.

"Holy hell, yes, Jasper, please. Your lips feel…fuck!"

The sex-crazed demon inside me roared to life. It had been so long, so very long, since he had made his presence in me known. But now he was there, full and front, ready to devour the goddess that lay writhing before me.

Together we were every woman's darkest fantasy come true, patriarch of pleasure and the bringer of all things 'O' worthy.

My tongue lapped out and suckled at her flesh as I placed two fingers at her opening, expertly gauging just how much she could handle. I quickly decided to add a third and stretch her just a tiny bit; a bit of pain, for a lot of pleasure.

I thrust my fingers in without warning, and the demon and I, now one, basked in her squeals and spasms.

Her walls immediately fought against the intrusion, and the feeling of them fighting, milking my fingers, almost caused me… us… to lose our resolve, forget the plan. Fuck the plan. I shut my eyes and reminded myself what I would gain from this, if I just didn't stray from the plan. And with renewed resolve, I removed my fingers from within her, my mouth from the sweetest torture I had ever tasted and swiftly licked her lips.

"What the fuck? Jasper…"

"Are you close, darling?"

I smirked victoriously as she barely managed to nod her head. "Please…"

"Come on now, darling, what kind of man would I be if I gave it to you right here on this desk with but five minutes until your pupils begin shuffling in?"

"Huh?"

"Awww, sweet, naughty Miss Brandon, you are going to have to go without for a bit I'm afraid, 'cause the bell is about to ring," I teased, and let my breath ghost across her quivering lips.

With will-power I prayed would not crumble, I pulled myself upright and struggled to put my junk away. I could hear Miss Brandon huffing in annoyance and frustration as she mumbled obscenities, where I am positive my name fell between each one. I smiled, that concupiscent angel would be begging me in no time. Soon…so soon…I would have the wicked Miss Brandon and hopefully the naughty lil' schoolgirl Bella…. Begging for my cock. I let my mind drift as the sweet, innocent doe and the frustrated, unfulfilled lioness eyed each other minutely before Bella made her way up to the seat beside me.

"Morning, Jasper, any idea what has Miss Brandon in such a foul mood? She looks like she's about ready to spit fire," Bella asked nervously, obviously thinking Miss Brandon's irritation was directed at her.

"No idea, darling, but I am sure we will find out soon enough."

Bella looked at me curiously; I just smiled and raised a brow at her before diverting my eyes to the front of the class where an extremely flustered and agitated looking teacher was beginning her lecture for the day.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 – The Naughty School Girl**

As the last vestiges of sleep slipped from me, I could feel warm and soft, supple and petite curled up beside me. My mind slowly reverted back to last night, and a soft smile played on my lips. Alice was the perfect teacher, but last night I'd like to think I showed her a thing or two.

I had showed up, uninvited, rather late last night. After her rather odd and curt behavior yesterday in class, I was kind of worried it was directed at me, and that cocky smirk that was plastered all over Jasper's smug face had me quaking in my boots. Had he told Alice that he knew? I never got the chance to ask him; he left class a few minutes before the bell rang and hadn't answered any of my calls since. So, after hours of pacing my room, wearing my poor carpet thin and almost giving myself an ulcer, I had jumped in my truck and, without a second thought, drove straight to Alice's.

To say I was shocked by her greeting would be an understatement. I was completely thrown; the second she answered the door she had hugged me rather tentatively, almost in a shy, so not Alice-like, manner. This freaked me the fuck out, so I took her directly to her room, stripped her bare of her clothing, and worshipped her in the only way I knew how. Hopefully showing her she had no reason to be wary around me, no need to feel any guilt for what we were doing, or whatever it was that had caused her awkward and off behavior. I think it worked. I hope it did.

We had fallen asleep in each other's arms, completely spent and utterly satisfied.

I had woken briefly in the middle of the night to a noise, maybe, or possibly just because this was the first time I had ever slept with another body beside me. It was a surprisingly disorientating feeling. I spent the first minute of my abrupt wakening trying to figure out where I was, the next wondering who the hell was curled into my backside, and the last grinning like a fool as I drifted back to sleep, the vision of Alice curled into me with that tiny smile on her lips as she hummed in her sleep as my last wakeful thought.

This morning I was seeing things in a slightly tinted light. What Alice and I were doing was wonderful, but I wanted something…more. Not a relationship per se, but a something. My nerves were on full tilt as I watched her sleep; her tiny frame was all nuzzled into the huge down comforter. I had never seen her look so fragile, so innocent. It was disarming and very comforting to see at the same time. It reminded me that she wasn't just my teacher, nor was she just my 'play mate' so-to-speak, but a living, breathing human, who had a life outside of teaching and ummm….teaching?

I decided today I would have to swallow my fears and insecurities and talk to her about how I was feeling and pray to anyone who was listening she would understand and not think me ungrateful and demanding.

I sighed and shut my already weary eyes and startled when a soft hand cupped my cheek. I smiled down at a sleepy looking Alice who was grinning back up at me with a look of alarm in her dancing green eyes.

"Everything okay, Bells?" she asked softly.

I hummed, "Yes, Alice, everything is fine. I was ummm…just thinking, maybe I should take a shower and get cleaned up."

"That sounds great. Mind if I join you? I've got something I've wanted to do to you for quite some time now." The look in her eyes now, honestly, scared the shit out of me. I gulped and nodded stiffly_. Dear God, what does this woman have in store for me, now?_

She kissed my right breast, which was mashed into her face, and giggled before hopping out of the bed and taking off in the direction of the bathroom. "Just give me like two minutes to get everything ready. Oh…and, Bella, thanks for being so understanding last night," she called over her shoulder as she disappeared through the door.

I flopped back into the plush pillows, my mind racing a mile-a-minute. How do you ask the older woman who is teaching you how to enjoy your own body and hers at the same time if she wants to be your friend? Like a real friend, not just a fuck buddy, or student of sorts.

I didn't have time to figure it out, 'cause just as my sluggish mind began forming the faintest of an idea, Alice was calling for me to join her.

I warily made my way to the bathroom and peeked around the slightly ajar door, not sure just what I thought might be awaiting me, but was pleasantly surprised to find a nicely drawn bath topped to the brim with bubbles that smelled heavenly, and a giddy looking Alice perched on the side of the massive tub as naked as the day she was born.

I mentally scolded myself for being wary and nervous. Of course, she was referring to a bath; we had yet to have a bath together. That wasn't so bad, in fact, it was rather appealing. I shifted my legs discreetly as warmth and wet began to pool between them, just thinking about running a loufa along Alice's soft curves, along her thighs, between her legs, across her pert little nipples…

"Bella, you going to join me?" Alice chuckled and shifted forward, motioning to the massive space now behind her.

I quickly pulled off the nightshirt I had slept in and slid in behind her.

I sighed as the heat enveloped me, and shivered when Alice leaned her body back into mine, chest to back; her chilly goose fleshed skin teased at my nipples and caused me to groan into Alice's neck.

I reached for the loufa hanging from a bubble hook on the tiled wall and squirted a handful of what I hoped was her body wash onto it and rubbed it in. Then, I began washing Alice's exposed chest. My pussy was absolutely throbbing with desire as I watched her chest rise and fall, her nipples harden and pebble beneath my touch. Soft moans of appreciation fell from her lips and made their way directly to my over sensitive girlie bits. I hissed softly as her back rubbed against my sensitive and overly alert nub, once again causing Alice to giggle childishly.

"Oh, Bella, I absolutely love how easily excitable you are." Alice chided, as she took the loufa from my hands.

"Here, I want to try something. Do you trust me?"

I nodded, praying she was going to find some way to attach her luscious lips to my swollen nub.

I watched her with a quirked eyebrow as she shifted and turned around in the tub, now facing me. Then she lifted my legs and placed them on either side of her and began to tug forward. "Lay back, Bella."

I did, there was a nice little latex pillow attached to the back of the tub that I rested my head on as I continued to watch her primp and adjust my body to her liking.

"Now, I want you to relax, close your eyes and just feel, okay, Bella?"

I hummed and hissed as her hands made their way up my inner thigh. My hips bucked of their own volition, desperate for any sign of release. When the hell did I become such a sexually driven, orgasm-hoarder of a girl?

I let my eyes flutter closed and just lost myself in the sensations: touches, ghosting fingers, soft sighs and whispering breaths. It was all too much, I was so high strung that when I heard the soft splurt and felt the cool goo on my sensitive bundle of nerves, I yelped out loud.

I looked down to see just what Alice was doing and saw a small silver shaver hovering over my pubic bone and a contemplative looking Alice with the tip of her tongue peaking out at the corner of her mouth as if she was in serious thought. It was too comical, I mean seriously, she was about to shave my bird, which, if I were honest, looked like it was some sort of battle ground; I could hear the narrative play out in my head as she dipped her hand and then brought it back, shaking her head as she contemplated yet another move, a counter move to her first move….a series of moves, almost as if she were contemplating moves in an excruciating game of chess.

_"Lost and ill-prepared for such wilderness, Alice wanders determinedly through the deep dark plains of the ghastly grotto. Alice shudders as, off in the distance, the roaring protest of the great wilda-beast rumbles through the air. With her trusty axe of wonders poised before her, Alice contemplates which curling shrub to take down first; what path may take her to the promised flatlands. Chop after chop, hack after hack, the heroic Alice continues her quest, and still the thick forest sprawls endlessly before her, threatening to swallow her whole, never to be seen again."_

I giggled at a mixture of the soft tickling sensation and the ridiculous commentary playing in my head, but didn't open my eyes. How would I explain to Alice my quirky way of thinking? She would think me one foot closer to all-out toonie-tarded. Yeah, it's likely best to keep those quirky thoughts to myself.

I was snapped from my inner debate by a rapidly growing, electric surge through my groin. My eyes snapped open and my mouth shaped a tight O, as the most unexpected, intense orgasm rippled through me with such a force it actually left me feeling disoriented and embarrassed. _Where the hell did that come from?_

I felt my skin heat up with my infamous tell-tale blush and I ducked my head in shame. Here Alice was trying to do me a service by ridding me of the abominable scrag-monster that had taken up residence between my legs, of which, I have never been brave enough to tackle myself, and I fucking blow stars out of said monster while she is busy grueling away. What the fuck is wrong with me?

I felt Alice's soft hand trail up my stomach and cup my chin, she slowly raised my head till I was eye level with her and planted a chaste kiss on my lips. "That, Bella, was the sexiest fucking thing I have ever seen."

_Say what?_ I shook my head. God, this woman never failed to confuse me.

She rose above me and stepped out of the tub, then held her hand out to me. "Come on, baby girl, I think we need to have a little chat."

I gulped. _Oh shit!_


	10. Chapter 10

**The Naughty School Girl Chapter 10 –**

**BPOV**

I slowly, begrudgingly, trotted after Alice. My chest constricting and my mind whirling. Could she somehow tell that I was pulling back, wanting more?

No, I have given not a single indication that I am … unsatisfied with our umm…arrangement. So that couldn't be it. But, if that wasn't it… oh god, this can't be good.

"Come." Alice had crawled back up in the bed and was now motioning to me to sit between her widespread legs.

She smiled softly and held up a hair brush. I smiled back and clambered into the big bed.

Three strokes in and I could take it no more. "What did you want to talk about, Alice?"

I heard Alice let out a trembling sigh and held my breath, waiting.

Four more brush strokes… "Bella, first I need you to understand, what I am about to tell you has absolutely nothing to do with you or us, or what is going on between us. Do you understand?"

I gulped and bobbed my head, not trusting myself to speak.

Alice's hands were now shaking so much she could barely get the brush through my hair. I lifted my hand and stopped her. Pulling her hand down and turning myself to face her. I let my finger rub soft circles along her thumb, trying to calm her, "Whatever it is, Alice, I promise I won't be mad. I actually want to talk to you about something, as well."

She looked at me warily before dropping her eyes and pulling her hand away from me gently to pull at frayed edges of her bedspread.

"Okay… I umm…shit…I don't…maybe…no….or…fuck…"

"Just spit it out, Alice."

"I almost fucked Jasper." Alice was staring at me wide eyed, her hand across her mouth, looking like she was about to be sick.

_Say what?_

"I'm sorry, what? That's it?" I stammered. Why was she so nervous, if that was all there was to it?

"Huh! You're not mad?" Alice gasped, wringing her hands together and eyeing me cautiously.

I snorted, "Of course not. Why would I be?"

"Well, I just, I wasn't sure what all you expected from me and we never once discussed having relationships outside of…umm…uh this." She waved her hand between us as she stumbled over her words and explanations. It was so mind boggling, seeing the usually calm and collected Alice so discombobulated and antsy. I wanted nothing more than to ease her mind, so I smiled and took her hand.

"Alice, don't get me wrong, I love doing umm…this with you. But, if you want a normal relationship with a man, I completely understand. It's natural, and I would never stand in your way. I'm sorry if I made you feel like I expected some sort of exclusive status with you."

"No, Bella, you see… That is not what I mean at all. I mean…umm…well, yes, I am attracted to Jasper and all. And, of course, I am attracted to you, as well, all I am saying is…I guess, I want us to be honest and open about any...umm…other partners we might have. Does that make sense?"

"Completely." I smiled. _That wasn't so bad, and it leads right into what I wanted to say anyway. She was making this so easy for me._

"I actually wanted to talk to you about something similar. I umm…was hoping that aside from these umm…lesson…maybe we could also, I don't know, be friends?"

Alice cocked her head to the side, watching me with a weird expression on her face for a moment before her face broke out into an impish grin, "Of course, Bella, I want the exact same thing. This is great." She threw herself at me, her arms wrapping around my neck, and her mouth clashing with mine. I kissed her back, softly at first, not knowing where she was going, 'til I felt her hand slide down my bare side and curl in between my legs, stroking my now very bare…Umm…naked beast? The sensations her fingers were invoking were like something you watched on porn. One of those things you know can't feel half as good as the girl is making it out to be, even though she's moaning and writhing like a panting dog. But, oh…apparently, it does. What the hell is she doing down there?

"Fuck, Alice, so good…mmm." _Yes, Bella, so damn articulate, aren't you!_

"I bet that feels a million times more sensitive now that you all nice and smooth, doesn't it?"

_Is that why? Fuck, the feelings I've been missing, Oh my G…._

"Fuck, Alice, shit just like that. I'm so close." My back arched at an odd angle, and I fell forward like a heap on top of Alice. She squirmed and giggled as I caught my breath and regained my vision.

"Fuck…" I whimpered as I finally rolled off of her, fearing I was crushing her with my limp weight.

"So, what did that lesson entail?" I asked, thinking I had missed something.

"Not a single thing, "Alice replied, cheekily. "I just really wanted to touch you."

I leaned over and kissed her swiftly, chastely. "And I fucking loved it!"

I scurried back against the headboard and relaxed my now tense limbs, "So…Jasper, huh! How did that happen?"

Alice again giggled, sounding oddly similar to a school girl with a wicked crush."Actually, he umm…walked in on me… kind of touching myself the other day before class." So that's why he was so smug looking and shit. Leave it to Jasper.

"We didn't get past third base, however, because class was about to begin. I have never been so sexually frustrated in my life, Bella. I mean, damn, that boy knows how to use every last piece of him to give pleasure and shit. I just really wanted the whole shebang, ya know what I mean?"

I snorted, "From Jasper? Hmmm…yeah, maybe. Why not? He is fucking hot, after all."

We sat silently for a moment just lost in our thoughts, when a wicked, wonderful, crazy idea struck me. I glanced sheepishly up at Alice whose face mirrored what I am sure my own looked like. Like she was up to no good.

"Are you thinking what I am thinking?" she asked, a sly grin spreading across her face, as her tongue darted out and swiped across her bottom lip.

"I think I just might be. But will you be okay with it? How will that work?"

"Oh silly, Bella, of course I will be okay with it. I know you're not interested in him romantically. Wait! You aren't right?"

I chuckled and shook my head, "No, Alice, I am not."

"She exhaled deeply, "Oh good. Well then, it's settled. You have likely spoken to him more than I have. What do you think his reaction will be?"

I gulped, it was now or never. Confess, Bella, and you will be washed of your sins.

"Wait! Is he dating the Bridget girl? You know, the one who sits like one or two rows ahead of him."

_I chuckled at her crazed look. Already jealous, are we, Alice? Yeah! She has it bad._

"Naa, she just likes to fawn all over him when she can. She's too young for him anyway. You know he is your age, right?"

"I knew he was older, but, no, I did not know that." Alice smiled all dreamily then chirped excitedly, "So, back to his reaction?"

"Well, yeah, that. I kind of have a teensy confession to make." I chewed on my bottom lip nervously and darted my eyes around, trying to avoid looking directly at her curious face. "Umm…Jasper kind of knows about us," I spat in one quick rush.

"Huh! What did you just say?" Alice pursed her lips and watched me intently. Shit!

"I was out with Jasper once, and he just kind of just guessed about us. So, I admitted it. He knows."

"Seriously, and he didn't freak?" Alice gasped, a knowing smirk on her lips.

"Hell no, if anything he probably ran home and pumped out some knuckle babies to wicked, nasty thoughts of the two of us." I laughed, that would so be Jasper. In fact, I bet he did.

Alice looked thoughtful for a moment, before smiling brightly at me and bouncing in her spot. "Well, that's perfect. Then it will be that much easier to ask him if he's game to join our little parties. But, Bella, I have to ask. Are you okay if I am uhhh…intimate with him outside of our times together?"

I grabbed her hand and squeezed it tight, "I am more than okay with it. I actually think you two might just be perfect for each other." Alice squealed and bounced off the bed and danced into her walk-in closet. Returning, minutes later, already dressed.

She laughed cheerily as she approached the bed, in which I was once again sprawled out, butt naked and on my stomach, and swatted my ass. "Come on, get up! I think a day of shopping is in order."

I wasn't a big shopping kinda girl, but internally I was ecstatic. This is exactly what I wanted, a friend…well, a bit more than a friend, but a real friend none-the-less.


	11. Chapter 11

**The Naughty School Girl Chapter 11 –**

**BPOV**

I woke to the birds chirping and bright sunlight streaming through my bedroom window. This was a rarity in Forks. One I wished I could enjoy, instead of spending my day locked in a stuffy room, crammed with sweaty, restless bodies.

Aw, the joys of school.

I slowly dragged myself out of bed, letting my mind drift back to yesterday, to Alice. We had a blast shopping. It had been exactly what I needed to get me out of my semi-emo-funk. Alice was such a lively person, it was almost contagious. She chattered constantly about anything and nothing. Not a single weird moment between the two of us. It was like the second we walked out of her door we were no longer Bella and Alice, sexual partners in crime; we were now Alice and Bella, friends and shopping companions.

I found we had quite a bit in common; we liked the same literature, same movies, same food; hell, we even had pretty similar taste in boys.

Yesterday was the beginning of a mutually enjoyable and everlasting friendship.

I stripped out of my pajamas and stepped into the hot spray of the shower. Sighing as I let the heat and rapid plunders of water massage and soothe me. Within seconds, however, my nervousness prevailed and my thoughts drifted to what lay ahead for me today. Today, I did not have Miss. Brandon's class; I did, however, have a study date with Jasper, which meant today I would have to find a way to craftily and carefully bring up the topic of Jasper joining Alice and I… for sex!

Oh, I could see the amusement in his eyes already. I honestly had no doubt that Jasper would be in, the second the words left my mouth; but knowing Jasper, he would want to get his pound of flesh worth first. Which meant something along the lines of teasing the crap out of Bella, or humiliating the shit out of Bella, or even worse yet, making Bella beg. I could so see it now, me on my hands and knees in the middle of the library, batting my lashes and begging for his anaconda of a cock. 'Cause Jasper is kind of conceited and overly generous about different parts of his anatomy, not to mention his smarts. Jasper was, if nothing else, someone who enjoyed being flourished with compliments well beyond the appropriate proportion deserved.

As one hand massaged sweet scented strawberry shampoo into my hair the other slowly slid south, until my tentative fingers reached bare quivering lips.

My mind flashed forward to Jasper guiding me to a dark secluded corner of the library and forcing me to my knees, as he fumbles with the zipper on his jeans. His semi flaccid cock now mere inches from my face, I can't help myself. My tongue darts out and laps around his thick head; his head slams back into the shelving unit, books wobble and fall all around me, but I don't stop. If anything, the adrenaline caused by doing such a deed in a public place, the idea of getting caught, drove me wild with want. As if his cock were a magic bean it grew before my eyes, thick and bare, staring down my throat and twitching for attention. I sucked him between my lips, his gravelly groans pushing my mouth deeper and deeper, 'til I can feel him hit the back of my throat and I gag slightly, not used to such intrusions in my mouth. Jasper apparently doesn't like this. He grabs me by the hair and pulls me back a bit, this is much more manageable. I look up through my eye lashes and hum my appreciation. He growls deeply, I can feel it in his belly, where my one hand is stationed, slowly edging under his flannel shirt.

I draw my hand down his stomach and to the inner side of his leg, down further 'til I am now cupping his balls, they are constricting, and Jasper lets out an animalistic sound moments before his cock twitches repetitively in my mouth. The hot, salty evidence of a job well done slides down my throat, and I purr, knowing that it is I who did this for him.

I gasp aloud, my hand pulls out of my hair and braces against the shower wall, my legs shake and try to give out as my orgasm rips through me, so intense, so hot. I don't open my eyes as I come down from bliss. I know there is surely soap all over my face. I let myself get too lost in fantasies I should feel guilt-ridden for, but can't find it in me to do so. It's not that I want Jasper for myself. I think I am just excited about the prospect of being with a real live man. I gather as much balance as I can and use both hands to rid my hair and face of the lingering soap and quickly shut off the now barely warm water.

I stepped out of the shower no longer nervous, in fact, I was now pretty damn excited.

After I had dressed and packed up my school bag, I skipped out the front door, like the school girl I was, and began my journey to school.

My first class was boring, as usual. I almost fell asleep. The only thing that kept me awake was the atrocious smell that kept invading my senses. This classroom was too tiny and too hot to fit sixty kids and there not be some kind of serious sensory overload. All the sweat and bad body odor, not to mention the dumb jocks that sat three benches up from me who found it exhilarating and amusing to see who could produce the smelliest throat-constricting farts, left my eyes were stinging and watering. How girls found the jocks attractive was so beyond me.

I only had two classes today, this one and one at the very end of the day, which meant I had most of the day hours to myself. First, I had every intention of spending time in the library working on my assignments, but at two I was supposed to meet up with Jasper, and time couldn't move fast enough.

"Hey, Bella, got everything we need or do we have to run and grab some stuff before we begin?" I jumped out of my seat and shrieked. Jasper looked at me like I had grown an extra head, and then just shook his head and smirked at me before plopping down across from me.

"Yeah, umm, no, I got everything we need," I stuttered, that stupid telltale blush of mine making its first, and surely not its last, appearance of the day.

Jasper bobbed his head and emptied his backpack, various items were now strewn across the entire table.

An hour later we were all done. I was satisfied, and Jasper seemed to be, too.

After spending the hour playfully bantering back and forth, my courage had doubled, and naughty Bella had reared her sassy head and was ready to play.

"Well, there we go. All done," Jasper stated proudly, his eyes gleamed with a wickedness I had full appreciation of in that moment.

It was now or never, "Hey, Jasper, I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Oh yeah! And what might that be, darlin'?" Jasper drawled, his accent doing crazy things to my over-attentive girlie bits.

I slowly rose from my seat and plopped down on the other side of the table beside him. He looked at me, curiosity evident in his eyes, but also maybe a little worry. He probably thought Alice had told me about what happened, and I was pissed. _Oh, silly Jasper, if you only knew what your little stunt did for me._

I placed my hand on his forearm and looked up at him from under my lashes, putting on my best sultry look, or, at least, what I hoped was a sultry look and not me looking like I had a lash in my eye or some shit. "So, I talked to Alice the other day," I began, licking my lips and smirking slyly at him. He gulped.

"Oh yeah! What did she have to say?"

I trailed my hand slowly, softly up and down his arm, every once in awhile letting my thumb trail across his leg where his arm was perched. He jumped slightly. _Got 'em!_

"Well, Jazzy, you see, she told me about your little stunt the other day, and well, we decided that since you can play the cock tease game so well, that maybe…." I let my voice trail off and coked my head to the side a little, glancing up at him as my teeth tugged on my bottom lip playfully.

My hand slowly edged off of his arm and found purchase on his pant leg, he glanced down, glanced back up and my face and did this again a few more times. His nervousness was as obvious as the raging bulge he was now sporting.

I leaned forward, my breasts brushed against his now very stiff arm and leaned into his neck and whispered, "We think you can redeem yourself by…._coming_ over to Alice's on Friday and joining us in a little lesson or two." I flicked my tongue out and caught his lobe, suckled on it a moment and then let it slide out from my mouth as my wandering hand finally slid on top of his very impressive package. I ran my hand roughly against it and squeezed just once before pulling back and standing up. Jasper moaned deeply in his throat. I was pretty sure he just came in his pants. I smiled innocently at him as I gathered my books and handed him a piece of paper with Alice's address on it. I didn't need his answer, I knew he'd come. I wiggled my fingers and smirked over my shoulder as I walked away from a dumbfounded Jasper, a smile on my face and a mess in my pants. Jasper wasn't the only one who found that little interaction overly-exciting.

**JPOV**

_What the fuck just happened?_ I was the patriarch of pleasure and the bringer of all things 'O' worthy, I knew the game and played it damn well. Well, it had been a while, maybe I wasn't at the top of my game, after all. That little vixen!

I guess my naughty little school girl was naughtier than I gave her credit for. I adjusted myself the best I could, considering the mess that was now sticking to my underwear, and gathered up my books.

I would be there Friday night, and I would show little Bella just who she was dealing with. I would give her and Alice a night they would never forget, one that would leave them begging for a repeat performance, over and over and over again.


	12. Chapter 12

**The Naughty school Girl Chapter 12 -**

**APOV**

I walked into class early, as usual, with a slight bounce to my steps. Bella would have talked to Jasper yesterday, and where I had yet to have a chance to talk to her, I was sure Jasper would have responded just the way we wanted him to, with enthusiasm.

Today, I would see both Bella and Jasper in class. I was hoping there was no strain in their behavior around each other.

I had only ever been in one other threesome before, and where it had been fun and seriously erotic and pleasurable for all involved, it had ended in some serious animosity and jealousy, the other two parties were a couple, at one point.

Our little get togethers were apparently too much for Teresa and Peter. They split not long after. Surprisingly, not because of T; it had everything to do with Peter's insecurities. He truly thought his girlfriend would end up leaving him for a girl and started getting all possessive and demanding and controlling. T grew tired of his jealousy and childishness rather quickly and walked out with just a few suitcases while he was at work one day, leaving nothing but a note telling him to get the fuck over himself.

She ended up staying with me for a month afterwards, so she could save up money and get her own place. It was great having a roommate and a bedmate and a constant sexual partner. We had mutually decided not to have any transgressions outside of what we were sharing while she was living with me, too awkward, and she had no desire to jump back into any kinky threesomes. I was okay with that, and our month together was very sexual and memorable. We decided once she found her new place to go our separate ways. She wanted something stable, something real. She wanted marriage.

We emailed back and forth occasionally. The last time I heard from her she said she was getting married and having a baby. I couldn't be happier for her.

I tossed my briefcase onto my desk and began pulling out graded papers. I scowled at them; they were the reason I didn't get to see Bella last night. Too much grading work to get done, and having her over would have been way too much of a distraction.

I let my mind wander to Teresa, her long dark brown, almost black hair, her soft olive skin, her supple perfect breasts. Damn, now I've gone and got myself all hot and bothered, yet again.

I glanced at my watch and decided I had plenty of time before students began arriving and unbuttoned my shirt. I took my pebbled nipple between my thumb and forefinger, closed my eyes and pictured Teresa's hands on me. My legs shot out of their own accord, and I leaned back into the head rest on my chair. Soft sighs and wicked trembles overtaking my body.

I pictured Teresa's hand caressing my small pert breasts, pinching and pulling and feeling so fucking damn good! I pleaded with her with my eyes as she glanced up at me through her long black lashes for more…I needed more, much more. Slowly she lowered her mouth to my left breast and suckled it into her mouth; the feeling of her talented tongue twirling around my nipple caused me to yelp and my body to convulse.

"Mmm, so good, T, more. Please, I want your hands."

I felt her hand travel down my inner thigh, slowly, achingly, taking her sweet ass time, teasing me, till it stopped right where I needed her touch most. My panties were soaked; I am sure she could tell right through my tight slacks. She groaned and began rubbing her palm into me. I tensed and knew it wouldn't take much for me to come undone. It felt too good; I needed more. I whimpered and rolled my hips, aching for more. T was a good girl and loved to please. I felt her snap the button on my slacks undone, and then her warm hands were inside and I was squirming, panting. I knew what was to come, and I wanted it now. Her finger grazed my swollen aching nub, and I jerked forward violently, she grinned; she liked seeing me so out of control. Her finger dipped down and were now hovering just above my dripping entrance, she's teasing again. I'd had enough, I jerked up, causing her hand to slip and her finger to enter me, simultaneously her thumb pressed down on my clit and I was screaming, writhing, hot; darkness overcame me, and my body went slack.

I opened my eyes and snorted at myself. All I see is an empty classroom. "Damn that's one hell of an imagination you've got there, girl," I teased myself, as I slipped my hand out of my pants and did them back up. I took out a wet nap and my hand sanitizer and cleaned my hands up, then decided I should probably get my lesson plans ready.

I got lost in my work and didn't hear the door open and shut softly and startled when I heard someone clear their throat. I jumped in my seat and gulped when I saw that it was Jasper and he was smirking that evil wicked smirk I love so much. Shit, I knew I was in trouble and class didn't start for another forty-five minutes_. Lord, help me!_

I stood up and greeted him, "Good morning, Mr. Whitlock, you are rather early for class." I was acting formal; this was my classroom after all. I could be formal from time to time.

He stepped towards me, I stepped back. The look in his eyes kind of dismantled me. I wasn't sure how to take him. I was completely out of my comfort zone. I was way out of my league with Jasper, and I fucking loved every second of it.

"You've been a bad girl, Miss Brandon, sending little Bella to me with such a proposal, when surely you should have asked me yourself."

I shuddered and snapped my mouth open to reply, say something witty and snarky. Instead I stuttered and grew flustered and hot…everywhere.

"I…ummm… we decided she knew you best. She umm, we..um, shit." Jasper's hands wrapped around my waist, tightly, and he pulled me roughly to him. "Do you know what happens to naughty girls when they misbehave, Miss Brandon?"

Apparently, he had a naughty teacher fetish. I decided to play along. That was what he was doing here, playing a game, teasing me, driving me fucking insane with lust and want and full-out yearning.

I fluttered my lashes and ducked my head slightly, "I'm so sorry to disappoint you, Mr. Whitlock. As your teacher I have failed you, and for that I am terribly sorry. Please show me how to teach you better. We can learn together. I deserve to be punished for my insolence." I licked my lips and felt my inner bad girl yawn and rouse; it was time to play and Jasper was falling, hook, line and sinker. He gulped audibly, his sexy as hell Adams apple bobbing as he swallowed slowly.

"Alright then. Let the punishment commence," he whispered, his eyes now a light shade of black, and damn, I could so see him being a crazy sexual kind of dom. Inside, bad Alice squees and pumps her fist. She's never been dominated before, and she relishes the chance to play something new.

Jasper led me to my desk and stopped just before it, smirked and leaned back. His eyes drank me in, every inch, and he groaned and adjusted himself.

"Take them off, everything," he demanded, soft and low, but full of authority and expectance.

I grew excited and felt myself pool in my lower regions. My hands fumbled with my skirt, and I was already unbuttoning my shirt as it fluttered to the floor. With trembling, excited fingers I flicked the last clasp on my bra, and I was naked before him, trembling with anticipation and desire, and maybe a small amount trepidation.

"Now, bend over your desk, Miss Brandon." His voice was so demanding, so sergeant like. I wanted to quip back, 'yes, sex sergeant,' but feared he might let it go to his head. Either one.

I bent obediently and rested my forearms on my desk. My whole body quivering insanely with anticipation, want, nerves. What did he have in store for me?

I heard a zipper from behind me and strained to peer around my shoulder without moving from my assumed position. He was getting something from his bag, something one wouldn't normally find in a student's shoulder bag. _Oh shit!_ I knew what it was. It was a fucking riding crop, dear God, save me now. I gulped, my toes going numb now more in fear than anticipation.

"Relax, darlin'. I promise you'll learn to enjoy this, or, you'll learn rather fast to be a good little girl." Jasper chucked deeply and positioned himself behind me.

"And just look at this, soaking wet for me, already. It is for me, is it not, Miss Brandon?"

Oh shit! Should I take my chances and lie, pray he didn't know? Or shame the devil and tell the truth?

"I'm waiting, Miss Brandon. Is this sopping pussy…" I felt his finger slide from my clit to my ass in one quick swipe, "all for me? Are you excited about my little toy? Anxious maybe?"

My breaths began coming more frantically. My legs wobbled and my heart sped up. I couldn't lie, with my luck he'd know. "No, Mr. Whitlock, it is not because of you."

"What's that, Miss Brandon? Have you been letting someone else pleasure you besides me?" His voice rose an octave, I swore I could hear a tinge of possessiveness in it. I smirked, two could play this game.

"Oh no, Mr. Whitlock, I swear. I was playing with myself before you arrived, no one else was present." I made my voice all sugary sweet and wiggled my ass a teensy bit for good measure.

Jasper growled and placed his hand on my backside, holding me still.

"I've not much time, naughty Miss Brandon. So, I suggest you tell me just what it is that caused this sopping mess, before I punish you for obvious indiscretions," Jasper was growling now, and the sound of his sexy as hell voice, accent and all, sounding so gravelling and fierce, caused my hips to buckle and yet more wetness to pool and run down my inner thigh. Shit, I didn't even know it was possible for me to leak girlie juices in such quantities.

I was daydreaming, about a girl; I touched myself. I came, screaming and writhing and wishing your cock was inside me," I whimpered out, desperate for any kind of touch, hell, even the riding crop looked good, right about now.

I heard Jasper inhale deeply, loud and quick and ragged.

Something slid along my backside, something cold and hard, and… 'whack'… "You enjoy this, don't you, Miss Brandon. Teasing me like this? You will count to five each time my little friend comes in contact with your ripe little ass. Don't forget, or we will have to start again. Do you understand, Miss Brandon?"

My breathing was now ragged; my pussy literally screaming, begging for attention. The sting of the riding crop still lingered on my skin, but with it came immense pleasure. I hoped I could last five more whips with it, without my legs giving out and my quivering, pulsating, dripping girlie bits exploding.

I nodded, unable to form words.

'Whack', I yelped softly. "One!"

'Whack', my knees buckled. "Two!"

'Whack', my back arched, my legs trembled. "Three!"

'Whack', my orgasm ripped through me violently. I thought I might have collapsed on my desk, but no, I just blacked out momentarily. "F..f..our!" I was whimpering now.

Jasper chuckled, darkly. Little fucker! He was enjoying this all too much. Well, then again, so was I!

'Whack', my ass stung like a mother fucker. It was over, I had made it. I sighed in relief, then "Oh shit, five!" I all but shrieked softly. Petrified he would make me start all over again. Forget the pain in my hiney, my legs were about ready to give out any moment. I was exhausted. Who knew a simple riding crop could solve all the insomniac issues in the world?

"What a good little girl you are, Miss Brandon. It pleasured me greatly to see you sprawled out over your desk, spent and panting, and such a sweet shade of ambrosia your ass now sports." Jasper tapped my ass with his bare hand; I whimpered. He rubbed it in soft circles; I moaned.

"Now get your ass up and get dressed. Your students will begin arriving any moment." With that he was moving away from me, towards his seat. I stood dumbstruck, till the clock on the wall caught my attention, five minutes 'til class. He sure liked to cut it close, now didn't he? But then I saw him at the door, he flicked the handle. He had it locked this whole time. _Smug fucker!_

"Oh, and, Miss Brandon! I look forward to seeing you tonight!"

I scowled at him as I put on the remainder of my clothes. I scurried to the right side of my desk and sat too quickly. I jumped back up and cried out. Jasper raised his brow at me and smirked. _Fucking cocky prick!_

I slowly, tentatively, lowered my throbbing rear end into the chair. Deciding that today would be an open book day. I was in no shape to be teaching anyone… anything.


	13. Chapter 13

**The Naughty School Girl Chapter 13 –**

"How's your project coming along?"

I yelped and threw my arms up - the startling action caused the chair I was precariously sitting in, on only the hind legs, to slip out from underneath me, and me, along with the chair, to topple backwards.

I glared up at Jasper's dancing eyes that never left my flailing form, loud guffaws already slipping past his tight lips.

"Hardy har har, fuck you too, Jasper Whitlock. How do you know I am not hurt or something? Huh!"

That stopped his childish laughter. He slowly eyed me from head to toe. "Well, are you hurt, B? Should I take you to the hospital?"

I couldn't help it, I smiled, "Fuck no. I don't do hospitals, and I am not hurt. But I could have been. And you didn't even try to fucking help me." I gave him what I hoped was the stink eye as I crawled up off the floor and wiped my hands on the back of my jeans.

"Sorry, B, It was…I was…it was just too priceless," Jasper snorted out. I raised a brow at him.

"Snorting huh, who woulda guessed, the gorgeous southern Whitlock snorted like a mangy little piglet? Not so damn perfect anymore, now are ya?"

"Awww, come on, Darlin', don't be nasty. Look, I am sorry I scared you, thus causing your little fall. Better?"

I couldn't stay mad at him when he gave me those fucking puppy dog eyes and shit. I growled and gathered up my papers. "I am not mad. Just realizing there is a very immature side to you is all," I threw nastily at him.

Again , he snorted. That was it, I doubled over in laughter and grabbed at my side. Eventually Jasper joined in, and we were both doubled over, grasping at each other when someone tapped on my shoulder.

"You do know this is the library right?" Holy fuck, I knew that voice. How could I ever forget it.

I spun quickly, almost knocking Jasper over in the process. My mouth formed the shape of and 'O' and my girlie bits tingled with want as my eyes took in the almost painfully sinful beauty of none other than… shit, what did Jasper say his name was again?

I frantically scanned my memory for his name, coming up blank and looking like I had something seriously wrong with me as my mouth flapped open and closed like a fish out of water.

"Edward, I am so sorry about this. We do realize this is a place of quiet. Please accept my apologies if we disrupted you or any other students during our moment of disregard to our fellow classmates," Jasper the ever smooth talker drawled.

Holy shit, I think I just died and went to heaven. Here I was side by side with two of the most gorgeous men I had ever laid eyes on. Please don't let my witty mind turn to mush, pack up and high tail it on me in my time of need.

_They are just guys, normal guys_. I chanted over and over in my head, praying sooner or later it might fucking sink in.

It almost worked too, but then Edward did the dreamiest thing. He smiled. All sharp white teeth and dancing eyes, soft crinkles and laugh lines. Immediately, I thought back to Mythology class and decided this man could so be the Adonis to my Aphrodite. He brought out a wild libidinous part of me I never knew I had. Not even with Alice. I wanted to throw him down on the damn study carrel and devour every inch of his body. Taste him, touch him, and fuck him eight ways to Sunday. I wanted to suck him and bite him and mark him as mine.

"Bella, earth to, Bella." Jasper was smiling, all smug and knowingly, and waving his hand in my face. I swatted him away and groaned in annoyance. How dare he pull me from such wonderful thoughts? And I was just about to say as much, when I noticed Edward's amused and curious expression. Shit, was he still here. I felt my face flame and ducked my head to hide it.

"Oh, sorry. I guess I spaced out there for a moment. What were you saying?"

"Oh, nothing. Listen, B, I am gonna jet. I've got some stuff I need to take care of before tonight," I gulped, he winked, "want me to pick you up later, and we can drive together?"

"Uh, sure." What was he talking about again? Edward was currently bent over and picking something off the floor. His shirt rose ever so slightly, but enough or me to see a sliver of pale, creamy skin. I bet it is so smooth and hard_. Just reach out and touch it, Bella. You know you want to._

I didn't even see Jasper leave, and the next thing I knew Edward was standing, and once again smiling brightly at me. "You two got a hot date tonight?"

Now wasn't that a weird question. Where would he get an idea like that?

That's when it all started to make sense again. Tonight- Jasper…Alice…sex…fuck…. And now I was standing in front of Edward, and he was asking me. What do I say? I don't tell him the truth. I couldn't…he'd never…oh, he'd hate me before he even knew me.

"A date, ha…with Jasper?" I gasped out, trying to sound appalled. "No, no, we are partners in class. We have some studying to do." I was now nervously tugging on the sleeve of my jacket and looking at anything but him.

"I see. So you like him, and he doesn't know. I get it. Okay, well, see you around, Isabella."

_Say what?_ Why was he walking away? He hasn't even touched me yet_. I watched as he walked away and felt my chest clench. Of course he isn't interested in you, Bella. Look at him. Oh, but please, I want the yummy boy. _I sighed and internally screamed for him to come back to me. To touch me_. Please, Edward, touch me!_

Just then Edward turned around and looked at me, his head cocked to the side and a look of complete confusion on his face._ Can he read my thoughts?_

"What did you just say?" he asked as he walked back in my direction, a lopsided grin growing on his face.

"Uh, I didn't say anything," I stuttered, wondering what the hell he was talking about.

"Oh, yes you did. You just asked me to touch you. Well, more like begged me to," he clucked his tongue and smirked as he crossed his arms over his chest. I gulped._ Shit, had I said that aloud?_

I felt like I was about to combust, the internal fire from his close proximity joined with the intense blush that coursed over my skin, caused me to turn an embarrassing shade of 'holy fuck I am a tool'. I opened my mouth to apologize for my crude behavior, but didn't get a word out before I felt Edward's hot breath against my ear.

"You know, Isabella, if you just asked nicely, I'd be more than happy to acquiesce." I felt his soft lips brush my searing neck, my breath hitched, and then nothing. When I gathered the courage to look up at him, he was gone.


	14. Chapter 14

**The Naughty School Girl – Chapter 14 –**

I had to go home. I needed to do something I couldn't do, here, on campus. Or could I?

I quickly checked my phone. I had plenty of time. Jasper had text me right after he ditched me with Teaseward – which I now called him- and damn, it suited the boy perfectly, and said he'd meet me out front at seven. Which meant I now had two hours to burn before then… plenty of time. Any chance of finishing up my project went right out the window the second Edward Cullen ghosted those words across my ear. _Fucking tease!_

In a lust induced daze, I robotically gathered up my things and systematically placed them in my shoulder bag. _Where, that was the question, where?_

"Hey, Julie, did you get everything from the loft?"

"Yeah, I just shut everything down up there, we can go now."

I watched the nerdy couple glance around, their gazes not even falling on me, the lone occupant of this section of the library, and a brilliant, amazing, insane idea hit me. The loft was perfect. You had to pay for them, and barely anyone went up there. My theory was, the third year students snatched them up before us young, first year students even stood a chance and used them to hide their unmentionables and as a place to get their freaks on. I liked to think I was right, and that is exactly what I intended to use them for myself.

I quickly scanned the area, as Nerdette and Dorkboy disappeared through the door, and made my way towards the winding staircase, in the far corner of the room. I dashed up those stairs with a goofy grin on my face and a burning urgency to my steps. Teaseward was flashing in many variations of sinfully-fucking-delicious through my dirty mind, and all I could think of was getting the much needed release I needed to quell my aching girly bits, and now!

Within seconds I was at the top landing and had to stop dead in my tracks. _What now, Pervella. Didn't think this far ahead, now did ya?_

I scowled at the long empty corridor and cursed softly under my breath at that fucking cocky smug voice in my head. I scowled and was just about to damn the voice for being right, when I noticed one single study loft's door ajar. I smirked and slowly crept towards it. A soft light poured out from the slightly cracked door. Maybe someone was in there? Or maybe… someone had forgotten to lock up after all.

The Gods of all things naughty must be smiling down on me today, or just flat out pitying my current quivering state, 'cause the loft was empty and there was a sweet ass looking leather sofa sitting there calling to me.

I darted into the room and quickly shut the door behind me. I flicked at the door lock hastily and was pulling off my pants before my shoulder bag even hit the floor. In my desperate haste I stumbled over my jeans around my ankles and fell forward, luckily on to the couch, thus saving my ass from some serious bruising.

I pulled off my shirt and flipped out the side compartment of my shoulder bag and withdrew my little contribution for tonight. A little something I had found online they called 'Dicso Dick'.

He was a pretty little thing and I couldn't wait to bury him deep inside me and take him for a test drive. The description online said he could light up and spin around and vibrate and even twist a bit. I couldn't be positive, but I was pretty fucking sure no real live cock could manage all that. So, of course, I had to have him and had wanted to share with Alice, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

I flopped down on the couch, with Disco in my right hand and let my left hand wander down the plains of my stomach. I didn't even bother with my boobs, the girls could wait. I had much more pressing matters at hand.

I let my eyes flutter shut as my fingers crazed my dripping panties and thoughts of Teaseward consumed my every move. I pictured my hand as his. My actions were his, what he would do to my body if he were here with me.

My teeth latched onto my bottom lip to suppress the noises that were trying to sneak past them. I pushed my panties aside and dipped a single finger into my dripping core. A soft moan broke free and dissolved any grip on reality I was pathetically clinging to.

I put Disco between my slick lips and let him slowly sink into me and lost myself in what could be.

… "_Fuck, Bella, your pussy is so wet, so tight. I have to taste you. I bet you taste fucking delicious."I watched with hooded eyes as Edward licked and nipped his way down my chest, across my belly, until he was situated between my shaking legs. I groaned softly at the sight of him there, looking up at me from under his long lashes with that ravenous look in his eyes, and arched up when his hot breath merely fanned across my quivering bundle of nerves. I couldn't keep my eyes open as a searing flash of ecstasy shot through me when his tongue swept out and lapped at my core. _

_My hands reached for his gorgeous mop of hair, and I wound my fingers through his tousled locks as his lips closed around my nub and began suckling._

"_Fuck, yes, Edward, so good. Please….I need more…please…." My whimpered cries for all he could give me fell from my lips over and over, and I tugged roughly at his hair, needing him inside of me._

_Just when I thought I couldn't take the delicious torture any longer, I felt Edward slide a finger into me, and then another. He twisted and curled, and god the things those fingers were doing to me. Hot flames consumed me and scorched through my being until I felt like I might explode. And then I did. In a blinding, explosive, shattering gust, my orgasm ripped through me. I couldn't even moan, all words, all sounds were locked tight in my clenched teeth. Never before had an orgasm been this intense, this mind blowing, and I needed him now._

_I tightened my hold on his hair and tugged him forcefully up. "I need you in me. Now, Edward, please."_

_He licked his lips and smirked at me, before positioning himself between my legs and leaning forward to kiss me._

_He tasted amazing, like me and him and sex and mint. It drove me fucking crazy, and I thrust upwards, needing to be filled to be… "Fuck yes, Edward. Fuck me."_

_His length filled me to the hilt, and I swear I lost all sense of sight as he pulled out and slammed back into me. There was nothing sweet and mushy about his motions, they were wild and rough and fucking perfect._

_All too soon, my walls began to clench in preparation of the damn that was about to break free from within me. Edward groaned huskily into my ear; his hot breath, those delectable sounds and the feeling of him stretching me, filling me, owning me… sent me over the edge, flying high and lost in the blissfulness. Bright blinding lights flashed before me as I convulsed and quivered below him, his name falling repetitively from my lips._

"Fuck!" My eyes shot open and my hand stilled. I quickly jumped up, dropping disco dick in the process. "Uhhhh…is anyone there?" I called out in a shaky voice as I pulled my pants and coat on, not even bothering with my shirt. I just stuffed it into my shoulder bag.

I peaked my head out the door, expecting to find some geeky fucking perv wanking off in the hall, but was extremely relieved when I found nothing but emptiness.

I sagged against the wall, relief flooding through me. My mind must have seriously been into that 'cause I swear to hell I heard a man… a breathy, husky moan come from a man. _Damn, my imagination is getting good at this shit._ I thought and laughed aloud at the absurdity of this whole fucked up situation.

I pulled my phone from my pants pocket and checked the time. I had thirty minutes before I was to meet Jasper. I sighed heavily and gathered up my things and slunk into the hall and out of the building.

The fresh air knocked some sense back into me, and I immediately berated myself for being so careless and acting like a fucking teenager in heat. What if someone had walked in on me? The someone who owned the loft? Fuck, that would have been an interesting situation to try to talk my way out of.

_Ummm, so sorry Sir or Miss, you see I am a fucking horndog and while playing with myself in the hall there, I fell through your door and collapsed on your couch just as I was fucking myself with a plastic dong. No worries though, I didn't steal anything or make a mess._ Yeah, that would go over great!

I found purchase a seat on a sidewalk bench, near the parking lot, and lost myself in my thoughts.

I couldn't help but be nervous about tonight. I mean, I was about to go have sex with two, yep, count 'em two people at the same time. Was I ready to have sex with a man? I could do much worse than losing my virginity to the likes of Jasper Whitlock. Seriously, he was sexy as hell and had that lazy southern drawl that did crazy things to my lower anatomy. But, he was _just_ Jasper. Sexy, smart, funny, and… my friend. It just didn't feel right. Making out, fucking around… that I could do. But to have such intimate memories of a friend I had no intention of staying with, never mind dating at all, well, it just wasn't me. I had saved myself this long, with fairytale dreams of my first time being with my _Mister Magnificent_, why throw those away now? I could contribute plenty to this sex-crazed get together without having to give up my v-card.

"Hey, Bells, you coming, or are you planning on staying there, staring off into space, all night?"

I jerked my head in the direction of Jasper's voice and smirked. I gathered up my bag and practically skipped towards his car. As I plopped into his front seat, he smiled at me, and I just knew he would understand.

We sped down the back road to Alice's house at an ungodly speed. Jasper spent the entire drive so far prattling on about how he couldn't believe after all the time he had spent lusting after Alice that he was finally going to be able to actually have her. It was like his wildest, most erotic dream come true.

"And the fact that you are going to be there in the mix is definitely an added kink-bonus."

_Say what?_

"I'm a what?" I asked, finally paying attention to what he was saying.

"I said… having you there when I finally get Miss Brandon is an added kin-bonus."

"I quirked my brow at him and just let that little comment slide. I wasn't sure I wanted to know what kink-bonus meant, but I am pretty sure I got the basis gist of it.

"Hey, Jazz, can I be honest with you?" I asked softly, twining my hands nervously in my lap until Jasper's hand darted out and took hold of one of them.

"Of course you can, Bells. What's up?"

"Well, two things actually… Umm… I am not sure I should say anything, but Alice is pretty damn nerve-wracked about tonight, so, I kind of thought maybe we could focus our attention on her. Gang up on her, so to speak."

Jasper chuckled softly, "That, I am sure I can do. Got a plan there, Bells?"

We spent the next five minutes of our drive going over how we would turn the cards on Miss Brandon and seduce the pants right off of her.

"So, what's the other thing you wanted to talk about, Bells? Jasper asked. Of course he hadn't forgotten about the_ other_ thing.

I chewed on my bottom lip and sucked in a deep, wavering breath. "I uhh… I am not sure I want to have actual sex with you." I just spat it out in a one-jumbled-word kind of way.

Jasper slammed on the brakes and pulled over to the side of the road. He put the car in park and turned to look at me. I watched him out of the corner of my eye as he watched me with an odd, contemplative look on his face.

"Bells, look at me." I couldn't. I felt like a fucking moronic fool. Seriously, what he must think of me. We were about to have a threesome. One I didn't want to be fucked during. How the fuck did that make sense?

"Bells…" Jasper gently grabbed my chin and turned it so I was facing him. "Look at me."

Reluctantly, I did, and the look on his face instantly calmed my fluttering stomach.

"I would never do anything you were not comfortable with. I am glad you told me this before we got there. I can't promise I won't send you into mind blowing orgasm after mind blowing orgasm, but I can promise you I will never try to enter you without you explicitly asking. Deal?" he said with a cocky smirk.

_Fucker!_

I punched him lightly in the arm and smiled. Jasper really was an amazing guy. I truly hoped that Alice treated him good once she sunk her claws into him.

"Thanks, Jazz," I whispered, still kind of embarrassed about the whole conversation.

Jasper pulled back onto the road, and within minutes we were parked in front of Alice's house.

We got out together and made our way up the drive. I didn't feel right just walking in with Jasper there with me, so I rang the doorbell.

"Hey, Bella. Hey, Jasper. Come on in," Alice chirped as she opened the door, spinning on her heel immediately and fluttering towards the kitchen.

"I told you she was nervous, "I whispered to Jasper as I pulled off my coat.

"Bella, where the fuck is your shirt?" Jasper asked, his eyes twinkling as he stared at my chest. I looked down at my…fucking bare chest. No shirt…no bra…just Bella.

"Shit! Umm, long story, Jazz, another time." I fell to the floor and pulled out my shirt, not bothering with my bra, and pulled it over my shoulders just as Alice poked her head through the doorway. "Are you two coming in or what?

"Uhh, yeah, Alice. Sorry, I just had to grab something out of my bag, "I stuttered. Jasper was looking at me with an evil, smug glint in his eyes, and I knew instantly this was something he was not going to forget anytime soon. I sighed in defeat and embarrassment and nodded slightly at him. Silently letting him know I would tell him later.

He put his hand on my lower back and led me to the kitchen, "Now I can't decide which I am more anxious for, this whole three-way thing or your naughty schoolgirl tale?" he chuckled in my ear, before pulling away and walking over to Alice.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15 – NSG –**

"What cha making there, Miss Brandon?" Jasper asked, chuckling softly. That little bugger was up to no good. I was sure of it.

"Oh nothing, just some snacks and drinks and...Oh, I forgot to go to the liquor store...and did you just call me Miss Brandon, Jasper? Please, don't make this any more awkward than it already is. I'd like to forget that two of my students are here to uhh...play with me..." Alice's voice trailed off, and for the first time since I had met her, I watched in awe as her face turned a light shade of magenta. Holy mother of...Jasper Whitlock just made, the ever-blunt and forward, Alice blush. This was definitely a monumental occasion.

Although, if I were being honest with myself, it didn't really surprise me, not really. I knew she had a bit of a thing for Jasper, she had admitted as much to me not long ago. But if I knew Alice, once she had her fill of him, she'd move on to the newest hotter piece of meat she could find. She didn't strike me as the settling down type. Then again, neither did Jasper.

So, in all likelihood, this would be some fun times, flirting, teasing, fucking, experimenting. Then when all was said and done, we could all go our separate ways, no hard feelings.

"Okay, _Alice,_ calm down. I stopped by the liquor store on my way here. I hope tequila is alright." Jasper pulled the bottle out of the brown paper bag and handed it to Alice. Holy hell! That sure was one big ass bottle of alcohol. Just how drunk did he plan on getting our asses?

"Oh, Jasper, it's perfect. Thank you. I don't know how I managed to forget something so important. You know, just a single drink is enough to ease the nerves away. I don't know where my head is these days..."

I zoned out Alice's nerve-wracked word vomit and went over to the fridge. I surveyed her mixes and pulled out a bottle of Coke. You can drink tequila with Coke, right? I honestly had no clue.

"Oh, Bella, don't be silly. I have frozen mix here already waiting, but before that, how about a toast?" Alice grabbed three shot glasses from the cupboard behind her and placed them on the counter. Jasper came up beside me with a cocky smirk on his face and nudged my shoulder just as Alice passed us both a full shot glass. "Bottoms up, NSG." I eyed him questioningly, what was the whole NSG thing about?

I quirked my eyebrow in question, but Jasper just shrugged and waved his free hand dismissively. I would have to ask him later, when he wasn't so focused on the current situation.

"To good friends and good times," Jasper drawled with a lopsided grin on his lips. I raised my glass and nodded my head in agreement.

"To good friends and good times," Alice repeated, then raised her glass and swiftly sucked back every last drop in the glass. I did the same.

My eyes watered, and I sputtered and gagged like an amateur. Shit, that crap burned. It tasted like it was made of rubbing alcohol and some wicked strong household cleaner. My eyes, my lips, my throat...everything burned like a motherfucker. I blinked rapidly as Alice giggled beside me. "The second shot goes down way easier, you'll see."

_My what? Another… Holy hell, I am going to be in one rough state tomorrow._

We did two more shots each, just for good measure, then Alice began making some frozen mixed drink. I wandered into the living room and flicked through her shelves of CDs.

A mixed burned CD caught my attention, I read the songs written on the back and pulled it out of the case. I wasn't big on dance music, but my body wanted to move, and from what I could tell by those song titles, it looked like dance music to me.

I pressed play just as Alice and Jasper joined me in the living room. Alice handed me a drink, and I slurped greedily at the sweet, cold liquid and let the music consume me. Music had always been an escape for me, a way to just let myself go.

With the glass in my hand and the straw attached to my lips, I let my eyes flutter closed and began to sway my hips to the pulsating beat.

Many songs later, Akon started playing. I was still dancing alone, which I didn't like one bit, and I was so excited it was a song I actually knew, even if I didn't know the title. I chugged back the last of my drink and squealed. I grabbed Alice by the arm and tugged her into the middle of the room with me.

I was already pretty tipsy. I had never been much of a drinker, so it tended to hit me rather quickly when I did.

Alice and I were dipping and grinding to the beat. The feeling of her body pressing against mine, sliding and rubbing, and then her hands began exploring my arms, then slid in to my hair. She tugged gently bringing my face down to look at her. I smirked, her eyes were filled with want, hooded and sparkling mischievously. I leaned forward and pressed my lips against hers softly, slipping my tongue out to tease her bottom lip. Alice groaned and opened her mouth to me. Her hot tongue collided with mine, feverishly. I moaned appreciatively and grabbed at her ass. She felt so good in my hands. So soft, soft firm, so fucking sexy.

I pulled my mouth away from hers and speckled kisses across her jaw. Her head lolled back and her eyes were closed as she sighed and hummed. I suckled her lobe into my mouth and swirled my tongue around it, eliciting a gasp from Alice. She was still not used to me being aggressive. Which wasn't surprisingly, seeing as I didn't take the dominant role all too often. I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her neck to my lips. I nipped and sucked and lapped at her pulse point. I noticed Jasper approaching and smiled to myself. My little plan was about to be set into action. Dear, sweet, Alice had no idea what was about to hit her.

I pulled back, and Alice and I continued swaying to the music. Nowhere in time with it, but still moving.

I watched as Jasper approached the unsuspecting Alice and wrapped his arms around her tiny waist, she yelped in surprise and then leaned back into him, pulling me along with her.

Jasper surprised me; he seemed to be a rather good dancer. The song changed to yet another one I didn't recognize, and he moved in time with Alice and me, perfectly.

I felt one of his long arms grasp around my backside, and I moaned at the feeling. His hands were so big, so strong, so aggressive.

I continued dancing and watching as Jasper bent down to reach Alice's neck. My clit throbbed when his tongue peaked out and lapped at her soft skin. I couldn't take the sight anymore and crushed myself to Alice, mouth on mouth, hand on breast. Alice squeaked out in delight, obviously loving the attention she was receiving from both of us.

Her soft sounds spurred me on, and I reached for the hem of her shirt and swiftly lifted it over her head, knocking Jasper away from her neck momentarily. The naughty girl she was, wasn't even wearing a bra, and her perky breasts were standing at attention, just begging me to wrap my lips around them. That I could do.

I lowered my mouth to her first nipple and swirled my tongue around it, before blowing hot air on it and latching onto it with my teeth. Alice moaned huskily, and I looked up, wanting to see the look on her face. Her facial expressions were always such a fucking turn on. Her eyes were clamped shut, her mouth in a soft 'O' with her head leaning against Jasper's broad shoulder. He smirked down at me and licked his lips before ducking his head and attaching his lips to Alice's. I groaned at the sight, it was so fucking hot. I wondered what it would be like to watch Jasper plow into Alice from behind. To see his dick slide in and out or her sweet pussy. _Fuck!_

I continued assaulting her nipples and let my free hand wander down to my aching hot core. I dipped it inside my pants, without thinking twice, and plunged two fingers deep inside myself. I was so wet and so fucking turned on. I flicked my thumb against my swollen bud and let out a disturbingly embarrassing yelp.

Alice pulled herself away from Jasper and grabbed my hand that was holding her breast. She smiled at me and pulled me alongside her.

She walked me to the other side of the room and 'come hithered' her finger at Jasper. There was a makeshift bed in this part of the room. Tons of blankets with huge throw pillows strewn all around. _How did I miss this?_

Slowly, she lowered me to the floor and tugged at my jeans. Jasper was watching the whole thing from just behind Alice, and seeing the weird look in his eyes, I suddenly became very self conscious. As my pants passed my feet, I clamped my legs shut. Alice scowled at me, but Jasper put his hand on her shoulder and motioned for her to let him by.

He dropped to his knees and crawled up beside me. His arm slid across my waist, causing chills to run through my body. "B, you know you don't have to hide yourself from me. I happen to think you are one heck of a beautiful female specimen and would love the privilege of viewing your hot body in a way most have not." I stared up at him with wide eyes and felt Alice crawl in behind me.

Her arms snaked around my waist and gently nudged my legs apart. "Shit, Bella, you're so fucking wet," she groaned in my ear, as her fingers slid across the slick skin of my pussy.

I heard Jasper's sharp intake of breath and noticed his eyes trained on my lower half as he watched Alice's fingers play with me, and I decided it was seriously fucking hot to be watched.

I writhed and moaned as Alice's fingers worked me into a frenzy. I watched Jasper watch me with the most blood thirsty look in his eyes. He looked ravenous. He looked feral and predatory. It was fucking crazy watching him transform before my eyes. To go from the man I thought I knew into something else, something sexual, something animalistic.

I lost my train of thought as heat consumed me. My body twitched in anticipation, and my throat constricted as I arched my back and bit my lip.

"Open your eyes, B. I want to watch you as you come, and let go of that fucking lip and let me hear you." I gasped and did as I was told, Jasper sounded so demanding, so in control, so domineering.

My orgasm ripped through me, wave after wave of intense burning heat, and Jasper growled beside me, low and deep and in a flash was in between my legs. Looking up at me, he smirked, an evil glint to his eyes, something akin to an animal stalking its prey. When his tongue lapped out and sucked at my dripping core I moaned and turned my head towards Alice. Her eager mouth was on mine instantly. Her hands were in my hair, tugging and scratching, and I needed more. _Fuck, I am one greedy bitch._ This was so not how tonight was supposed to turn out. It was supposed to be all about Alice, not me.

I focused my attention on her, trying futilely to not concentrate on what Jasper was doing to me and let my hands slide down Alice stomach, in between her legs, and I cupped her sex in my hand. At some point in time she must have taken off her pants, 'cause she was now only wearing her tiny lace underwear. I slipped them to the side and plunged my finger deep inside of her. She mewled and groaned into my mouth as I worked her frantically; desperate for her to feel even half of what Jasper was eliciting form me.

As my fingers worked in and out of Alice's hot pussy, I felt Jasper slide his into me. Already, I could feel another orgasm mounting, teetering, threatening to throw me over the edge. I had to make Alice come first, though.

I clenched my jaw and strained my arm so I could bend it better and pressed the pad of my thumb firmly against her clit. I made slow rough circles with it till her body was shaking with need, then added another finger into her, stretching her and pinching her clit with my remaining free finger and thumb.

She cried out and convulsed against me just as the orgasm I had been fighting ripped through me. It was so intense, so much more than I remembered ever feeling before, and I lost myself in it; flung myself off the brink and just let the rapids take me.

Jasper jostling my body pulled me from my bliss, and I watched him with hooded eyes as he pulled his fingers out of me and kissed my clit softly before he stood and began unbuckling his belt. I panicked, momentarily, thinking maybe he forgot about me telling him I wasn't ready for that. But his reassuring smile told me he did remember, and I stared unabashed as his cock spring free when he lowered his pants, he, too, obviously forgoing any sort of undergarments.

Once completely naked, he lowered himself in front of me and pulled me up. He reached to the side of him and produced a wicked looking dong, purple and ribbed, not too big, just right, and placed me on my knees.

He then pulled a still panting Alice up and smirked at her. "I want you to ride my cock, darlin', while Bella fucks your ass." He didn't ask, it was almost a demand. I gaped as Alice did exactly what she was told. _What the fuck!_ This was so not her. She was always the dominant one, not the submissive 'do as you are told' type.

Jasper sure brought out an interesting side of her.

Jasper laid back, and again I found myself gawking at his cock. It was big, bigger than I'd even seen in any porno, and shaved, completely. It kind of reminded me of a sleek looking one-eyed snake, but prettier.

Pulling myself out of my cock induced haze and remembering my earlier thoughts, I quickly scampered up Jasper's side as Alice crawled up his legs with a foil packet in her hand.

She tore at it with her teeth and slowly rolled the condom down Jasper's length. I licked my lips as she positioned herself over him and grabbed hold of his dick.

Jasper moaned loud and huskily and thrust into her hand. Apparently he wasn't one for taking things slow.

"Fuck me, Alice." And with that she slammed down on him, his whole length disappearing and then reappearing. My clit throbbed painfully as I watched her rise and fall, bounce and grind.

Jasper placed one hand on her hip and helped guide her, and then I felt his other hand slide in between my legs. _Fuck that shit! Now that I knew what his fucking tongue could do, his hands could go to hell._

I slapped his hand away and smirked cockily as he scowled at me, then lifted my one leg over his head with confidence I didn't know I possessed and hovered directly over his face, making it painfully obvious what I wanted. Alice smiled lazily at me and leaned slightly forward till our lips met, and I fucking attacked her face in a frenzied need to taste her.

Jasper's hands tightened around my ass, and finally he did what I wanted him to. He lapped and sucked and inserted his fingers in me and even nibbled on my clit. This caused me to yelp out in pain and pleasure. What an odd combination, it stung, but the intense, overriding ecstasy that shot through me made the minor pain so worth it.

Alice continued sliding along Jasper's length and battling her tongue against mine, as my walls began to clench spastically with in me. Jasper moaned against my lips and pulled his fingers out of me. I whimpered into Alice's mouth at the loss and felt Jasper, that cocky fucker, chuckle against my quivering, wet pussy.

_Fucker thought he could tease me, did he? I don't think so._

I reached down with my hand and began circling my clit. Once, twice…I stilled, my legs shaking uncontrollably, as ripple after ripple burned through me. Then, when I thought it couldn't feel any better, Jasper slipped his finger into my ass and my body convulsed violently, slamming down onto it, and I burned. Consumed in a fiery orgasmic bliss. My vision blurred, my body ached, completely spent and satiated.

Jasper gently lifted me off of his face, poor guy likely needed to breathe; only then did I notice Alice smirking at me and still bouncing away on Jasper's still fucking hard cock_. Holy shit! Was the guy the fucking energizer bunny or some shit? I should bottle some of him up and sell it to the makers of fucking Viagra. The man was made of some seriously potent shit!_

I leaned down and kissed Jasper softly before attempting to crawl away, wanting him to get his as well as Alice, without me dominating the whole fucking thing once again, but he stopped me by grabbing my ankle. He threw the purple dong at me and raised his brows suggestively. I smirked. My jello-like arms could definitely handle that.

I sucked on three of my fingers, coating them with my saliva and ran them along the curve of Alice's ass, as I pressed myself against her backside, while I, too, straddled Jasper legs. I let my finger tease her entrance and moaned when I felt Jasper's cock slide against my thumb, as he slid in and out of her, over and over. Alice began whimpering, and I knew she was close. I placed the head of the dong against her ass and slowly slid it into her. It was about three inches in, and she shot back against me, her head was on my shoulder and her eyes were rolling around. She arched and quivered and screamed out Jasper's name, while he grunted and thrust upwards into her, his own release obviously close. The dong slipped out of Alice. I let it go, and cradled her to me as Jasper fucked her relentlessly, his eyes crazed and his lips tight. Suddenly, he reached forward and grabbed her by the hands, hauling her back towards him. "Don't. Ever. Stop. Fucking me, till I tell you to," he grunted out between thrusts before growling out a string of profanities, and what I was sure was something along the lines of 'fucking best pussy ever'. And then Alice collapsed against his chest and I against her. Jasper shifted us sideways, and I rolled onto the blankets and curled into Alice's back side as she cuddled into Jasper's chest. Within minutes I was floating, and I let myself fall asleep with a smile on my face and my whole body completely satiated.


	16. Chapter 16

**NSG – Chapter 16**

Slash's blaring guitar solo from November Rain blared through the mini speakers that I had connected to my alarm clock and caused me to almost fall out of bed in my shocked state as I flailed aimlessly, trying to kill the electric noise.

I glared at the alarm clock, after I finally managed to shut the bugger off. It was Monday morning. Time to get back to reality, and back to the mundane task of going to school, doing homework and attempting to get at least six hours of sleep a night. Monday through Friday...day in, day out. That was my existence. Except now, it was different. Now, instead of just doing the same routine over and over, I would have Alice and Jasper. Friends and lovers. People to hang out with, and people to fuck if the need arose. No complications, feelings of love nowhere near being involved. It was easy, it was fun, it was satisfying, and most of all, it was a welcomed change to the everyday norm.

"Bells, you up? I'm heading in late but wanted to make sure you got out of bed. You've been hauled up in this room ever since you came home Saturday. I was kind of worried." Charlie stood in my doorway, looking everywhere but at me as he smoothed over his moustache repetitively.

"Yeah...umm, I had a ton of homework. But I got it all done, so hopefully I can sleep a bit more this week and maybe get out and enjoy the weekend this week." This seemed to placate Charlie, he hated seeing me so closed up and emotionally void. No friends, no boyfriends and no life. If he only knew about my current extracurricular activities, he might be thinking otherwise - likely something along the lines of a cage with no means of escape.

"Well, have a good day, Bells. I won't be home tonight. I'm working a split shift, so make sure you lock up tight, okay?" I nodded as I scurried about in my room, trying to find my books for school and waved as he turned to go.

Today I had Alice's class, and I hadn't spoken with her since I left, at the ass-crake of dawn, Saturday morning. I had woken with a queasy stomach to find my one leg hitched over Alice's tiny waist, with one hand on her breast and, surprisingly, the other tangled with one of Jasper's. It was a strange thing to wake up to, and it left me feeling out of sorts. I scribbled a letter to her and left it on the counter, giving a lame excuse of needing to get homework done and bolted before either of them could wake. I turned my cell off before I even hit the long stretch of highway and had yet to check my messages. Hopefully she wasn't too upset with me.

I spent the drive to school over-thinking myself into a frenzy. Would Alice be upset? I had checked my messages and found I only had one. It was from Alice, but all it had been was her telling me to call if I was upset. Since I hadn't returned her call, she must have assumed I was just fine.

I arrived in class just before the bell rang. Jasper was already seated in his regular seat. He smiled at me briefly before going back to his text book. Some girl was sitting in the seat two over from him, and I didn't particularly feel like being boxed in, so I opted to sit somewhere else today. Jasper gave me a questioning look, but I just shrugged and looked at the girl. He seemed to understand and again went back to reading.

Alice was her usual chipper self. Barking out instructions and giving out the odd bit of information, then chuckling softly as she took in the confused, scared expressions on my classmates pale faces.

Jasper and I had finished up our assignment last week in the library. I could only assume everyone else in class had too, it was, after all, due today. So it was now a whole new set of tasks. Papers were passed around. I read it when they finally came to me. Information on grading and what was expected. We were to read The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer. I groaned inwardly, of all reading, Alice just had to pick something I had never read before nor had the interest or desire to read. Why couldn't she be like every other teacher and assign Hamlet, or Wuthering Heights? Something easy; something I had already read, or would at least enjoy reading.

I quickly jotted down a note to visit the library during my free period to sign out the book and then began doodling as I waited for further instruction from Alice, I mean Miss Brandon.

"You don't look terribly impressed. Are you not looking forward to reading this assigned book?"

I ducked my head and felt a slow creeping blush spread up my neck. Edward Cullen was standing right next to me, asking me about the crummy book, and all I could think about was how sweet and minty his breath smelled as it wafted past my nose, causing saliva to pool in my mouth, and my girlie bits to quiver and pulsate.

I finally raised my head and looked up at him. His mouth was moving, words obviously coming out. Words I couldn't hear because blood was pounding in my ears, among other places. I quickly rubbed my legs together, covertly, making it look like I was just adjusting my position in my chair. Edward's intense green eyes flickered towards my clasped hands briefly, and a small smirk pulled at the corner of his mouth.

"...Don't you think?" I blinked...rapidly. Oh shit! What was he asking? What did he say?

I decided anything he said would likely make sense, so I just nodded dumbly up at him, "Oh, yes, of course. I completely agree."

He let out a soft, almost cocky, chuckle and leaned down towards me. I stiffened as his lips ghosted across my ear briefly before he whispered, "I am so glad you agree, Bella. So, I will see you tonight, at six, in my study carrel then. They are located on the top floor in the library, in case you didn't know," and I swear the cocky bastard winked at me, "oh, and it's the fifth door down," he called as he sauntered away, briefly looking over his shoulder and smirking at me.

Say what? I am meeting him...in a study carrel, but what for? Are we reading the book together? Is he trying to help me? Wait! The fifth door... I struggled to remember the layout of the carrel floor at the library and began ticking off doorways as I recalled each one. One, two, three, four and five were locked. Great! So that would mean I was in six last time I was up there- not Edward's! I puffed out a huge rush of air and slumped forward in relief, grateful I had not snuck into Edward's carrel and desecrated his couch. How awkward would that be? Especially considering I had left my bra there, and...Fuck! I had left_ Disco _there, too!

My heart leapt into my throat, and tears of utter embarrassment sprung to my eyes. How could I have left that shit there? What the hell was wrong with me? Someone could recognize the shirt, or even worse, maybe the study carrel belonged to a forensics major- if there even was such a thing, and at this very moment some nerdy perv could be dissecting_ my_ disco and running DNA to bust my horny, break-n-entering ass. Or maybe just some sick perverted teacher found it and used it as some twisted version of scratch and sniff foreplay before beating his wrinkly monkey to disproportioned images of some sickly skinny blond with a rack too big for her tiny frame to hold up.


	17. Chapter 17

NSG – Chapter 17

"Hey, Bella."

I shrieked and jumped in the air as I spun on my heel and took in the amused look on Jasper's face.

"Shit, Jasper. You scared the hell out of me." I placed my hand over my heart, as if that might do something to stop it from beating so damn erratically, and glared at him.

Jasper all out laughed, apparently finding the 'let's kill Bella Swan with a slow heart attack' moment hilarious.

"Shhh…." Three annoyed sets of eyes flashed in our direction, and I ducked backwards, between the rows of books, before I was identified and left Jasper to fend for himself.

"So sorry, darlin's," Jasper drawled with a lazy grin, "Please forgive my rude outburst. I didn't mean to interrupt your studying." I almost gagged. What a smooth mother-fucker, and the bitches- yeah, they fell for that shit. Swooning and everything by the time he winked and sauntered over to my hiding place.

I rolled my eyes and snorted in a very un-ladylike manner at his display, but he just smiled and ignored my obvious disgust.

"Would you have preferred if I had pulled something like this?" He put one thumb in each corner of his mouth and twisted his hands sideways so he could push up his nose and distort his face, and I couldn't help it, I laughed. It was just too damn comical seeing him all goofy and so not what I was used to with him. It was a great moment. He laughed, I laughed, and the swooning girls didn't shush us this time. Instead, they just batted their long, fake lashes at him and glared openly at me. Any awkwardness I had obsessed over possibly feeling evaporated, and just like that we were Bella and Jasper- friends and partners again.

As my raucous laughter died down, I clutched at my aching stomach muscles and leaned into the bookshelf. Jasper was eyeing me with an odd twinkle in his eyes. It was intense and hungry and a mixture of something between want and need. I gulped.

He took a step towards me, and then another…edging closer and closer, his eyes never leaving mine. I took a deep breath, held it, and closed my eyes.

"Open your eyes, B, I want to see you. I want to see the confusion and lust and want all mingled together to make you just right, just you. I want to watch your eyes dilate as your body reacts to the close proximity of mine, and most of all, I want to be close enough to smell your heady arousal when you come undone just from the sound of my voice and the way I look at you."

I attempted to laugh, hoping he was joking around and knowing he wasn't, but all I could push out was something akin to a groan. His words affected me, sure, but still, he didn't have _that_ kind of power over my body. No one ever had, and no one ever would.

Sure, he could make me weak in the knees and anxious as all hell. And, of course, he could turn me on with one single look. I mean, damn, the boy was fucking hawt! But come undone just from a look, well, that just wasn't going to happen.

Jasper's lips curled up into a cocky, determined grin. Almost as if he knew exactly what I was thinking.

"You look so delectable standing there, quivering and all innocent looking, B. But, you are far from innocent, my sweet, aren't you?" He quirked his brow and gave me a once over. A gentle aching began to throb between my legs, and I sighed at his words. I was so not an innocent little girl. He was right. And oh, how I wanted to prove that right this very instant. In this library. With all these people around, that could possibly see us.

"I can still feel that sweet, tight pussy of yours contract around my fingers. I can smell it, B. God, I want to taste it. Would you like that, B? Do you want me to lick you from opening to opening? Tease you till you can't take it anymore and your body implodes with ecstasy?"

_Fuck that is so hot! Yes, of course I want it. So, shut the hell up already and get on your damn knees._

I begged him with my eyes, with my shaking legs, with my gaping mouth. He knew I wanted it. And still, the fucker stood there with that annoying smirk on his sexy-as-hell face. I wanted to smack that look right off his face, kiss the hell out of him, then bury his face between my legs.

I didn't. I just stood there dumbfounded and aroused beyond belief. Who would've known simple words in a sex-laced tone could provoke such reactions?

"Please…."

"Please what, B? What do you want, darlin'?"

I opened my mouth to speak- to tell him I wanted him- here, now, in any way I could have him. But then I thought of Alice and her quasi-way of expressing sincere interest in Jasper, and knew I couldn't fuck him. I just couldn't do that to her. But, I could do all the things I knew she already knew about… kiss him, touch him, taste him, oh….."

"Please….I need to taste you on my lips. I want to lose myself in your scent and just… explode."

I wasn't making much sense, not even to myself, but Jasper seemed to understand what I wanted… likely better than I did.

He leaned forward and blew across my neck. His hot breath fanned over my skin, causing goose bumps to prickle as it passed. I whimpered and tilted my neck to give him better access, but he stopped. I made a sound of disappointment, and he clucked his tongue at me.

"Always so impatient, aren't you, B?" his lips once again nestled beside my ear, "I'm going to kiss you now, B. And when I do, I want you to come for me. Do you understand?"

I nodded. Desperate for…something…I would agree to anything.

He moved slowly…cautiously in front of me. His eyes never leaving mine. The tip of his tongue teased at the corner of his mouth, then skimmed across his bottom lip sensually, taunting and just plain fucking torturous to watch, and then his mouth opened, and he leaned in closer. My lips parted with a short gasp and a breathy moan, and then his lips where on mine, and it was hot and wet and tasted so fucking good. Like coffee and mint and… his tongue touched mine, gently…I swiped my own out and tangled it with his, then reached my hands up to wrap them around his shoulders. He pulled back and wagged his fucking finger at me.

"Ut uh uh…no touching, B."

I huffed, and again he smiled. Finally, his lips returned to mine, more insistent, aggressive almost. Needy. A husky moan fell from his lips and floated between our mouths. It was so fucking sexy.

"Fuck….."I ground out as I pulled back from him and dug my teeth into his shoulder, agonizing heat searing through my body and soaking my panties. I trembled and clenched my eyes shut and rode the bastard out for all it was worth.


	18. Chapter 18

NSG – Chapter 18

BPOV

"That was fucking hot," Jasper hummed softly in my ear as I came down from my orgasmic high.

My skin instantly heated with embarrassment when I realized just what I had allowed him to do to me, and where, and shit, how loud had I been? I choked back a sob and looked up at him, my chin trembled and my face flamed.

What if people had heard me?

They'd think I was a slut. Cheap and easy_. Fuck, Bella. Of course they will. You do just about anything, these days, for a cheap thrill, after all. _

"Don't over think it, B. I promise no one heard a thing." I nudged us towards the end of the aisle and chanced a glance over his shoulder. It appeared indeed that no one seemed to have noticed a thing. People were still milling about, browsing through books. The same girls were still at the same table, chatting amongst themselves and we were still the only ones in the far corner of the library.

A rush of something ... excitement ... adrenaline... I don't know coursed through me. I had just had an amazing orgasm, with a hot as hell guy, in the library, and not a single person was any the wiser to what had just transpired.

My lip twitched and slowly curled into a devious grin. Just as fast as she surfaced, straight and narrow, self conscious Bella disappeared and in her place was... was a very sexual, naughty school girl. One that was imminently pleased with the fact that she had just marked this section of the library, had done something so outrageous and spontaneous. It was almost a euphoric feeling.

I giggled and smirked at Jasper. My post orgasmic high didn't last long, though. Jasper chose that moment to celebrate my sexual liberation with me and pulled me in for a celebratory hug. One that involved him sniffing my hair, groping my ass and leaning in for a open mouthed kiss. I moaned and just enjoyed the feeling, that is, until intense, angry green eyes connected with mine over Jasper's shoulder.

I felt my eyes widen and my heart leap. Edward shook his head and shot me a look of pure disgust before turning on his heel and leaving the library.

I pulled back from Jasper, who now had a look of confusion on his face.

I sighed in defeat. What the fuck ever. If Edward was going to be all emo-like and freak out when we were only almost, barely, just friends. Well, then maybe he wasn't the kind of guy I wanted, after all, albeit I still wouldn't say no to some plain, old-fashioned fun with him either.

"Is something wrong, B?"

I shook my head and masked a smile, "Nope, everything is great, J. Come on, let's grab something to munch on before I have to go study the ever-boring Canterbury Tales."

Jasper chuckled as I pulled him out of the library and towards the cafeteria. I still had to meet Edward later, and after that look he shot me a few moments ago, some ice-cold comfort food, in the form of ice cream, might be just what the doctor ordered.

"How do you even know if the story is boring? You haven't even read the book yet."

I rolled my eyes at him and struggled to get the book out of my shoulder bag. "Do you see this? Seriously, read the first page. The first page, J, is already boring as fuck. I love almost anything in the literary world. But, gah...even I am not sure I will be able to stomach this one. What the hell was Alice thinking?" I huffed and manoeuvred my way through the long, empty cafeteria lines. I made a beeline for the freezer section and eyed up the frozen delicacies. Meh, who was I kidding. It was all pretty basic. No name ice cream, popsicles, and an odd looking sundae thing that looked like it had been sitting there for centuries collecting ice crystals.

I whipped the door open, not needing time to decide on what flavour, and pulled out the first tub of strawberry my fingers touched. Immediately, my eyes scanned the counter for any utensil. A spoon preferably, but I'd settle for a fork or knife if need be. Hell, I'd use my hands right about now, if I knew the outcome would be the calming of my frazzled nerves and fluttering heart.

Unfortunately, I didn't find a spoon, but I did find at half-assed version of a fork. I'm pretty sure that the faded white paper hanging above the basket read 'sporks'. Like seriously, what the fuck is a spork?

Jasper snorted beside me as he watched me eye the odd utensil with curiosity.

"What! Have you seen one of these before? Because, I sure as shit haven't."

With the tub of ice cream and a spork in hand, I made my way to the cashier.

"Here, it's on me." Jasper handed the lady some money, and I smiled in gratitude.

"Is there something bothering you, Bella? You seemed fine at the library. If I did something wrong, you have to tell me. I won't know otherwise. I mean, did I overstep? I didn't mean to offend you. I just... I umm... you were there, and I saw you standing at the bookshelf, and you were humming and wiggling your tight little ass, and you just looked so damn hot. I..."

"Just stop, Jasper," I interrupted, "You didn't do anything wrong. In fact, I'm pretty sure it was easy to tell I thoroughly enjoyed myself. It's just..." I paused for a moment, trying to gather my thoughts, my worries, my ridiculous ideas and form them into something that made even two bits of sense. _Here goes nothing_...

"Have you ever done something, Jasper, that you enjoyed and you wanted to do some more but there's something else you want to do, as well, but you couldn't find a way to make both things work together?

"I mean... like say you're playing baseball on a friends team to help out, you know, 'cause they needed an extra player or something like that. Then another friend wants you to play on another team, but you know if you do it would likely cause conflict between the two friends. But you really want to because your one friend plays softball while the other friend plays hardball, and where they're both really similar sports, they're also so very different and yet the same..." I huffed in frustration, knowing my ramblings were making absolutely no sense to my own ears, never mind Jasper. With a deep unsteady breath, I asked what I really wanted an answer to. "Can ya have both? Is it greedy and selfish to want both? Aw, shit, never mind. Just ignore me, I think I'm going crazy. I really do."

I averted my eyes and pretended I was very interested in my ice cream. I shovelled sporkfulls of the frigid yumminess into my mouth, figuring if I kept my mouth nice and full, I wouldn't be able to say anything else to mortify myself.

"Bella, are you okay? Am I missing something? Because, I'm really starting to think I am. These sports you speak of, are they metaphors? For say... oh, I don't know, maybe the first sport... we'll call it softball, is you know, Alice and I. And then, maybe the other sport is, oh, I don't know, just pulling a name from the top of my head... Edward Cullen?"

I sputtered and began to choke on my sporkfull of ice cream. And really, is it even possible to choke on ice cream, when it just melts in your mouth before you even have a chance to choke? Of course not, but, I am Bella Swan, and apparently I don't do things the normal way.

"Hey what time is, Jasper?" I spluttered, in and of vain attempt to steer the conversation elsewhere.

"It's five-thirty. Nice try, Bella, but I want answers, and I want to try to help you. You know, I've always known you had a thing for Edward since the very first moment he walked in to the classroom. The way your eyes lit up, to how nervous and fidgety you'd get. He is quite a hot specimen if I do say so myself.

Holy shit! Does Jasper swing both ways? Was he admitting he thought Edward was hot because he, too, wanted to bang the shit out of him? I, myself, may be considered 'bi' but I just wasn't sure that was something I could deal with. I liked to consider myself fairly open minded. And honestly, two men, I wasn't opposed to that. Just, not _my_ two men. Not when one of them was someone I saw as something more than just sex.

Jasper must have noticed the way I was analyzing his words and jumped up from his chair with a panicked look about him.

"Okay, I am going to wager you took that all wrong, or I said it in the wrong context. Let me make myself crystal clear. I am not interested in Edward Cullen. At all. Never gonna happen. What I meant was, he is a damn good looking man, and even I could appreciate that. I am not going to say I have never kissed a guy..."

This time I did choke on my ice-cream. No doubt about it. Fucking cold slimy shit snuck right down my windpipe and stole my gasping breath away.

Jasper pounded on my back, not very gently either, until my coughing fit finally ceased. Now my throat burned, my back ached and I had a nasty visual of Edward and Jasper's tongues twining and sliding against each other. As disturbed as I was by the thought of them being intimate with each other in a sexual way, the idea of them just making out a bit, turned me the fuck on. My panties were sopping wet, again! And my girlie bits were screaming for attention.

Jasper was talking, asking something about whether I was okay or not. I tried to look at him, to answer him. But every time I did, I saw him and Edward, nose to nose, cheek to cheek. Hot manly tongues battling for dominance and the only sounds I managed were soft squeaks that should have embarrassed the hell out of me, but I couldn't bring myself to care. My thoughts were consumed with the two of them and the idea of flicking my bean while laying back and watching said make out session.

My cheeks flamed as Jasper eyed me with curiosity and a look of bewilderment, probably thinking I was fucking crazy. Before he could question my sanity, or even worse, about my thoughts, I bolted from the chair, my ice cream now forgotten, and grabbed my book bag. "Sorry, Jasper, I gotta run. I have a meeting in like five minutes, and I can't be late." With that, I spun on my heal and dashed out of the cafeteria, knowing I should likely stop by the ladies room and clean myself up a bit, but I worried more about being late with the greed-eyed orgasm on legs. I let it slide and brisk-walked back towards the library, with a slick mess in my panties and a smile on my heated face.


	19. Chapter 19

**NSG – Chapter 19**

I don't know why, but the short walk to the library felt like some twisted version of the walk of shame. I was nervous and fidgety, and more than once I considered not showing up at all. I had convinced myself that even if Edward felt a fraction of the attraction I felt towards him for me, it could never work. I mean, how do you tell a guy that you are interested in him but already involved with someone else? Scratch that, more like 'someones'. Even more complicated than that was the fact that it was all purely sexual.

The only answer I could come up with that would be acceptable and save my own pride at the same time was to lie. Outright fucking lie.

As I reached the front doors to the library, I took a deep shuddering breath and set my shoulder bag on the bench outside the door. I rifled through it until I located my borrowed copy of 'The Canterbury Tales' and clutched it to my chest, using it as a shield of sorts. Something to cling to and keep my shaking hands steady and busy.

_You can do this, Bella. He is just a gorgeous guy. A heart-achingly, drop-dead, mouth-watering, panty-dropping, perfect specimen of a guy, but still, just a guy. My body's reaction to him was likely nothing more than overactive hormones and a natural common reaction to such God-like male attributes. Nothing more._

I could do this. I could go in there and act like it was nothing more than what it really was, or what I assumed it was, just a student seeing her TA for some advice and assistance with a class assignment. Right?

I looked warily at the front door, as if passing through it would be my demise. How pathetic a thought, really, but even worse was how accurately true it would turn out to be.

Take a step.

Breathe.

Another step.

Don't forget to breathe.

And repeat.

Almost to the stairs now.

Is everyone staring at me?

Why are they looking at me like that?

_Oh, I don't know. Maybe because you look like a psychotic suicide bomber with the way you're acting and clutching to that damn book like it is your life line or, better yet, your death sentence._

The winding staircase had never looked so big, so scary, as it did at this very moment as it loomed in front of me, taunting me, laughing at me.

I could just see the stairs taking on a life of their own. Sharp pointy teeth between each step snarled into an evil sneer, chuckling as they watched me walk to my own undoing.

_Holy shit, Bella, get a grip on yourself, girl. No one is walking into their own demise. You are just going to see your TA. Get some hints and tips, and then you're going to walk out of here with your head held high and hopefully with your sanity still somewhat intact._

I looked up the staircase, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight….ten stairs. I can do that.

On shaky legs, I wound up the staircase. Faster than I would have liked, but it was better than the stair monsters that lived in my head coming out to play again. I sprinted off the last step and into the long, narrow hallway. My heart was beating double-time and my breathing was erratic and coming out in anxious spurts. _What the fuck is wrong with me?_

I counted the doors as I slowly passed them. One, two, three, four….and let out a sigh of relief as I stopped at a door covered in schedules and postings. The door I entered last week had none of this on it. Surely it was not the same room.

With this revelation, my anxiety seemed to reduce infinitely, and I was able to raise my hand to rap on the paper covered door.

I forced a smile on my face as the door swung open. My smile faltered immediately as some guy I did not recognize stood before me.

I gaped at him as he stood there, obviously waiting for me to say something. "Umm, is Edward here? I was supposed to meet him here to go over my class assignment. If he is still busy I can come back another time. I mean, it's okay if you need him for a bit longer. It really isn't that important…."

The guy chuckled loudly, interrupting my bumbling rant. So I shut my mouth and just stood there, patiently waiting out his guffaws.

"Calm down, girl. You look like you are about to meet a firing squad. Edward isn't that bad, and you are not overstepping anything, you're just at the wrong door."

_Huh? No, I counted. I counted each door. I was very careful. I paid extreme attention. This is door five._

"No, this is door five…"

"Bella?" My stomach leapt into my throat. _No!_ I couldn't breathe. _Too hot, can't breathe._ Wetness pooled at the corners of my eyes, and I struggled to maintain some semblance of calm as I turned to meet Edward's curious and anxious eyes.

The second my eyes met with his, he rushed forward and was at my side, his arm around my shoulders, comforting me. "Bella, are you okay. Come on, let's get you seated. Do you need some water?"

He led me to the next door. My head was spinning. This couldn't be right. I counted the doors. He had said the fifth door. This was not the fifth door. This was…oh shit…this was _the _door.

"But…you said door five. This isn't door five," I rationalized with my spinning thoughts, not even realizing I was saying it out loud.

Edward turned and looked at me with a look I couldn't quite decipher. Smugness or… understanding…

"You're right, Bella. It's okay." He was trying to comfort me and I knew it, but his words did nothing to calm the raging storm that was brewing in my head, in my chest. "I didn't mean to confuse you. I just never thought to include the supply closet. It is the sixth door, but only the fifth carrel."

He ushered me, with his arm, through the door. _Oh fuck!_ There it was, the couch. I would recognize it anywhere. I gulped painfully, my mouth pasty dry and aching for the water he had mentioned moments earlier, and tried to compose myself.

_Just because it was his room you were in, does not mean he knows. Get yourself together, Bella, and start acting like a normal fucking human being._

Edward handed me a bottle of water and took a seat on the opposite side of the couch. He didn't say anything, just sat there and watched me with cautious eyes.

Seconds ticked by and merged into minutes. The loud ticking of the huge clock that hung above the doorway was the only sound in the room aside from my harsh breaths, and slowly the cloud of fear that had encompassed me began to dissipate and my thoughts began to form in a coherent type of way.

I inhaled sharply, then exhaled deeply… and finally set the book that was still clenched tightly to my chest on my knees.

"Sorry about that, Edward. I had a bit of a misunderstanding, and for some reason, it threw me more than it should have. Please forgive me for my retarded, crazed moment." I kept my eyes glued to the floor, still not quit able to meet his gaze. I felt the couch dip and knew he had gotten up. I watched his feet move towards the desk and disappear, only to return, moments later, within my line of vision, directly in front of me.

I couldn't put it off anymore. He likely already believed me to be some completely psychotic freak as it was. The least I could do was look at him as he attempted to talk to me.

I chewed at the corner of my lip and raised my head to look up at him. I didn't open my eyes till my neck was fully craned. He was smirking down at me, his eyes dark and dancing with mischief. I had seen this look on his face once before, in the library, when he had quasi-flirted with me. _Oh shit!_

"Is _this_ what had you in such a tizzy? Honestly, Bella, it shouldn't. In fact, I do wish you had offered for me to join you instead."

My eyes darted to what he was motioning to in his hand and the room began to heat up to sauna-like temperatures.

I felt my whole body burn with mortification, that quickly morphed into wanton desire, as I let his words register and my eyes linger on my long lost Disco in his hand.


	20. Chapter 20

**NSG – Chapter 20**

My heart thumped painfully in my chest, and my breath caught in my throat. Of all the things I had expected coming here tonight, this was not one of them.

My mind flashed through different ways to respond to this. The most prominent idea was to run, run as fast and as far as my shaky legs would take me; but this new, deviant part of me wanted to play, to use this situation and as a way to get what I wanted. And what I wanted was the beautiful man-boy in front of me.

I gauged his expression carefully. He didn't appear mad or disgusted. If anything, he seemed intrigued and excited.

I could do this. He wouldn't reject me. I don't think…

"Why, thank you, Mr. Cullen. I can't believe I lost such an important item. How will I ever repay you?" I forced my body to move forward, swaying my hips in what I hoped was a sexy manner, and snatched the dong right out from his hands.

His eyes widened, and his mouth gaped slightly. Obviously, this was not the reaction he expected from me. I was a stealthy, erotic being, and I purred on the inside, exhilarated and loving the feeling of being so forward and in control.

I turned and walked back to where my shoulder bag sat sitting against the couch and bent at the waist, making sure to give him a lingering view of my tight backside, and tucked my Disco safely away.

As I slowly rose, I whispered out, "Now, what was it you said about you joining me instead?"

His lips went from slacked to being curved up in a half assed smirk, and I swear his eyes were dancing with amusement.

"Miss Swan, are you sure you heard me say that? I am your TA and it would be most inappropriate for me to proposition you in such a way. I simply invited you here to help you with your paper on The Canterbury Tales and to, of course, return what I knew was yours."

_Hold the fucking phone! What?_

My mind spun. I hadn't misheard him. No, he had asked why I hadn't offered for him to join me. So, why the fuck is he acting, now, as if he hadn't?

I was just about to tell him to go fuck himself and his screwed up mind games, when a soft rap startled me. I spun around and faced the door. Had he heard someone approaching? Maybe he has bionic hearing or some shit.

Without thinking, I opened the door for him, and there, standing in all his cocky glory, was Jasper.

"What are you doing here?" I blurted, knowing full well he was up to no good and expecting some sort of spectacle. What I wasn't expecting, however, was Edward to answer that question for him.

"I invited him, of course. After I had a little chat with him earlier on, I decided it best to approach this situation with all three of us present. I would have invited Ms. Brandon as well, but she had prior engagements, unfortunately.

I swear I almost choked on my own fucking slack tongue. What the fuck had I missed? And when the hell did these two talk?

I groaned audibly and put my head in my hands. This couldn't be good. Maybe I had read Edward all wrong, and he had somehow found out about Jasper, Alice and I, and we were about to be blackmailed into something, like hiding a body or some shit. And if we didn't do what he wanted us to do, he would turn us in to the board.

My chest clenched at that thought. I knew Alice didn't really need the money, but she loved teaching. This would kill her. Jasper and I, of course, would be looked at as the victims. We were the students, after all. So, our studies likely wouldn't suffer because of it, but still…Alice.

Jasper stepped inside and closed the door behind him. The echoing click caused me to jump slightly. I couldn't stop my mind from spinning through all this, and I was on edge trying to figure it all out and the best way to go about the predicament we were in.

I looked to Jasper and watched him warily as he eyed the floor, avoiding me, and then to Edward who was still looking as calm as a chilled cucumber, leaning against his desk, watching me watch him. No one said a thing, no one moved. The air in the small room was stifling, and it took a lot of effort on my part to keep my breathing regulated.

My stomach churned, and I almost thought I might just vomit right then and there from the stress of the situation, when Jasper cleared his throat.

My eyes flashed to him. He motioned for me to sit as he lowered down to sit on _the couch_ himself.

I reluctantly followed and noticed Edward pulling a chair out to the front of his desk.

"What the fuck is going on, Jasper? And who the hell do you think you are playing with me like that? If I was in trouble, why not just tell me, suspend me, penalize me, whatever the hell it is you think you're gonna do, and get it over with? Or are you some sick fuck who gets off on dragging shit out and making young girls into nerve-wracked messes?"

"Wait! What? Where do you…"

"I don't want to hear it," I interrupted, no longer wanting an answer and ready to take the ball back in my own court and show this beautiful ass of a man just who he was messing with. I stood and grabbed my bag, not even once looking over at Jasper. I couldn't believe he was here and just letting this happen. Didn't he give a shit about anyone but himself? "I'm outta here. I will not be threatened or blackmailed by you. I initiated this whole thing. I will go to the board myself and turn myself in. Alice doesn't deserve this shit, and you, Jasper, should be ashamed of yourself. I can't believe…fuck…never mind. It doesn't matter what I thought. I can see the way things really are, and it makes me fucking sick!"

I spun on my heel, wanting to get out of there before my new-found balls shriveled up into a mess of sniveling girl. I grabbed the handle and inhaled deeply. Already wondering how the fuck things got to be so darn complicated, when someone place their hand on my shoulder. A tingling warmth spread through me at the contact, and I knew immediately it couldn't be Jasper, my body had never had a reaction this intense to him. My knees quivered and my nipples hardened, and I stopped dead in my tracks, ready to give or do anything if this incredible sensation would just stay.

I mentally cursed my traitorous body for reacting this way to the enemy, a man it would never have the pleasure of tasting, or touching, or…. Oh, holy hell is that his hand sliding down-towards my…A pathetic, whimpery squeak of a noise slipped past my lips, and my eyes rolled and fluttered at the hot tingles he left in his wake.

His strong hands stopped just above my ass, and I just wanted to take him by the hands and make him grope me in all my girlie places that seemed to be screaming for his electric touch.

_Oh for the love of all that is holy and sacred, please just fucking grab me, Edward!_

And, as if he could hear my silent plea, finally, he cupped my ass and gave it a teasing squeeze. His fingers grazed between my cheeks and my clit fucking twitched at the contact. I moaned and let my head loll back, and just before my eyes fluttered shut, I saw Jasper smirking as he slowly approached me. That fucker, he was in on this. I didn't know how or why or when the fuck it had all transpired, but somehow, Jasper had concocted this whole thing with Edward, and I couldn't be fucking happier with him for it.

"Does that feel good, Bella? Do you like that?" I whimpered in response, my thoughts so convoluted I was unable to form coherent words. My mind was lost, with nothing but thoughts of him bending me over his desk and fucking me into oblivion consuming it, and my nipples pebbled as his searing touch rose over my hips and up my sides, as if they knew the insane pleasure that was making its way to them.

A soft moan escaped me as he finally pinched my nipples, hard, and then Jasper's mouth was on mine, his tongue playing on my lips and his sweet breath fanning across my face, and I dove right in, tongues clashing, hands roaming and mewled noises pouring from me.

"Fuck, that is so damn hot to watch. Do you want us, Bella? God, I want to watch you suck him off while I fuck you from behind." Edward pressed his palm firmly against my crotch. My legs buckled, and I thrust back into his, holy shit! Massive erection. Damn, that boy is fucking endowed.

I grounded my ass into his hard on and reveled in the gruff hiss that blew across my neck, the sensation caused me to bite down on Japer's bottom lip.

Edward's hand covered my breast, teasing and tweaking the taut nipple as his other slipped down over my belly and back to the waistband of my jeans. Jasper's skilled tongue twined with mine in a sinfully delicious dance as one of his hands slid up my shirt towards my chest. Simultaneously, Jasper's hand enclosed around my free breast and the button of my jeans popped open, and in that moment my mind finally realized exactly what was about to happen. I would suck Jasper off, which I had no qualms doing, in fact, I would fucking love to, but, Edward would fuck me. And it wasn't like I had never slammed myself with a dong or anything, 'cause I had, many times, but I was still technically a virgin, and the one and only thing I had left of myself to give to the man I ended up spending my life with was that. I could say he was the first man to ever be in me…like that, and I couldn't do that now, with Edward, no matter how badly my body was fucking screaming for it, craving it. I just couldn't do it. Edward wasn't the one. He was just a guy who wanted to get his rocks off with a younger girl and her classmate. He was a perverted man with amazing hands and a talented tongue, and I couldn't have him, because he wanted me in a way I couldn't give him.

I froze as my zipper slid down and his fingers teased at the edge of my lacy panties. It was clear to me now, all of it. How dare Jasper? He knew my limits; he had been in on this. What the fuck was he trying to pull?

I pushed forward with what little control I had left. Jasper, caught off guard by my actions, stumbled back and gave me a cautious look. I ignored him, for the moment, and slapped Edward's hands away with trembling fingers. He, too, pulled back, and I lunged forward, grabbed my bag and spun to face them just as Edward's mouth opened, likely to ask what the fuck my problem was, but I didn't care. I had to get out of here. I felt so betrayed, and I wanted nothing more than to allow this betrayal to come to fruition, but I had to maintain some of the person I had been before this all started, and I couldn't do that if I succumbed to the naughty fucking school girl who was screeching at me to take it like a good bitch.

I raised my hand to halt whatever bullshit Edward was about to spew and glared at Jasper. "How could you, Jazz. You know I can't…won't…and still you encouraged this. Probably even set this up. I trusted you." A single, plump tear splashed on my burning cheek, and I darted for the door, swinging it open before either guy had a chance to respond.


	21. Chapter 21

**NSG – Chapter 21**

**EPOV**

I was finally going to be a TA, and for a very well-known, much-respected English teacher, no less. I was about as excited as I was nervous, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out why. It wasn't like I didn't have the qualifications, because I knew I did. I had graduated at the top of my class in high school and received various honors since starting college three years ago, so that couldn't be it. But something had me on the edge of my seat with my nerves jacked up like a crack-addict. I just hoped whatever it was, I survived it. I needed this experience and recommendation to get into the course I wanted for what I really planned on doing with my life, working in a medical lab and finding cures for the world's most devastating diseases. I wanted to find a cure for cancer and better ways to do heart transplants to lessen the risks involved with them. I wanted to make the world a better, healthier place, one horrible disease after another. I had overly huge and slightly unrealistic goals, but still, I couldn't help but want.

I had finished all my required courses, except for Abnormal microbiology, which I was currently enrolled in, and decided English was a good minor to fall back on, just in case.

I took a deep breath to calm my jittery nerves and repeatedly mumbled over and over again that I was just being paranoid. Nothing in this classroom would hurt me. Nothing in this classroom could take my goal away from me.

I shut my eyes and opened the dark, wood door and stepped inside.

Miss Brandon noticed me right away and gave me an encouraging smile before turning to the room full of students, "Class, this is our new TA. He'll be here to help out, and maybe even take a few classes. I'll let him introduce himself..."

I forced my feet to move one step at a time, until I was standing beside her and raised my eyes to the class.

"Hi, I'm Edward Cullen. I'm currently studying for a PhD in Biology and taking English as my minor, so I'm here to help in any way possible."

Murmurs broke out throughout the room. Some hushed, some blatantly loud. I had heard them all before, and not one of them affected me in any way.

"Holy shit! He's so hot."

"He can help me any day."

"Who does that dude think he is, coming in here acting like he's God's gift to woman. Fuck him. These are my girls."

"I bet he'd be great at sucking cock, with those lips…"

Okay, maybe I hadn't heard it _all_ before, but it was all the same, and I couldn't let the juvenile musings of the class I was assisting with affect me. I refused to.

"Alright, class, back to work. You'll get to know Mr. Cullen here plenty over the next few months."

I let my eyes wander as Miss Brandon made her way back to her desk and began rummaging through papers, likely to get me my group assignments and some background on each of the students.

I was surprised at how many were actually taking this class. Not that English wasn't a popular class, but generally it was taken much further along in one's studies, not right off the hop in a first year's class, at least, not in my experience.

There had to be about twenty-five students in the class, ranging from spiky-haired punks to preppy teacher pet types. My eyes then locked on a girl sitting off to the side, with some smug looking pretty-boy at her side, and I felt my pants tighten instantly. She was breathtaking and fragile looking. She radiated innocence, yet something about the way she looked told me she was far from it. She was chewing on her pencil in the most delectable way, and I couldn't help but think about her devoting that kind of attention somewhere else...

_Fuck! Look away, Cullen. She is a student, and you can't think of her that way._

I spent the rest of class half listening to Miss Brandon and studiously avoiding looking in the direction of the beautiful, entrancing girl five rows up.

The next few days flew by. I had no more run-ins with the dark-haired, erection-causing beauty. But, I also hadn't had Alice's – as she asked me to call her - class, either.

I was currently holed up in the library, hunting for a good book for the class to do their next paper on, when I heard quite a ruckus. A loud thud followed quickly by raucous laughter filled the air and my frazzled mind snapped. This was supposed to be a quiet place, one I could go to to gather my thoughts.

I looked around the large, book laden shelf and noticed a tall guy completely tangled with a brunette. His face was buried in her chest and they were staggering around by one of the study tables, and I saw red. It wasn't that they were really that loud or anything, but the position they were in irked me for some reason. I almost felt…jealous.

_What the fuck!_

I clamored towards them, not liking this annoying feeling surging through me and tapped the brunette on the shoulder. I gasped and pulled back. A tingling shot of static electricity shot through me and went straight to my nether regions. I ignored it and growled softly at the two lovebirds, "You do know this is the library right?" And then she turned to face me, looking all doe-eyed and innocent and guilty as fuck, and that was all it took. I was now sporting a raging hard-on, staring like a gaping beached fish at the object of my deepest, dirtiest, fantasies, and all the weird feelings and irritation suddenly made sense. It was her, the first girl in such a long time to be able to elicit any sort of sexual reaction from me, and she was with him, the smug looking guy who had sat leisurely by her side in English, a place where I should be. I wanted to be the one to make her giggle until she fell into my arms. I wanted to bury my face in her enticing chest. I wanted…

"Edward, I am so sorry about this. We do realize this is a place of quiet. Please accept my apologies if we disrupted you or any other students during our moment of disregard to our fellow classmates," the fucking tall-assed, boob-snuggler drawled at me. That's right, drawled. As if his smooth fucking tone would make everything better. I was just about to tell him as much when Bella sighed. It wasn't an annoyed sigh, or even a bored one, no, it was all soft and erotic and made me want to smother her lips with mine and swallow the sound and keep it with me forever.

_Holy fuck, Cullen. Stop being such a pansy-assed bitch and let the poor fucking couple go._

I screwed on the brightest smile I could muster. "Don't worry about it. This time. Now get out of here before the librarian comes and hangs you by your asses. I hear she's one tough cookie."

The guy laughed, all deep chuckles and amused eyes, but the girl…_what the fuck was her name?_ Just stood there, still looking nervous and confused and like she was far, far away. Maybe they were on drugs? That would explain their disruptive outburst. But they didn't look like your typical druggies.

I shook my head and walked away then, and I couldn't help but wonder what had her so tongue-tied and lost in thought.

Try as I might, I couldn't get her out of my head. Every so often I would peek over at the two of them. They were huddled over some paper and seemed deep in conversation. I wondered what they were talking so intensely about. I wondered if he was her boyfriend, or lover, or maybe I would get lucky and he was her gay best friend. But from the looks of him that last idea likely wasn't happening. He sure didn't look or act gay, and I'd like to think if he was indeed gay, he would have hit on me. I mean I was hot, and I knew it. I just didn't let it go to my head. To me, I was just an average guy, who got lucky in the gene department.

I pushed those crazy thoughts aside when I noticed him waving his hand in front of her face, smiling all bright and goofy and calling her name….aww… her name was Bella. How fitting and yet cliché at the same time. She was indeed a beauty, that's for sure. I heard him ask her if she wanted to be picked up tonight, and my fists clenched so quickly I dropped the book I was holding onto the floor with a loud thud. Embarrassed and ashamed of my reaction, I ducked my head and bent to pick it up. I watched him walk away from her and head out the front door of the library, and I knew I just had to approach her. I had to know what he was to her.

I slowly approached her. She seemed to be looking my way, but I don't think she saw me at all. Her eyes were glazed over with what looked like lust, and my chest constricted painfully.

_What the fuck are you doing, Cullen? Are you really going to go and hit on a girl, a student no less, one that you are pretty sure is already taken?_

_Hell yes I am, now shut the fuck up!_

I was still so busy internally arguing with myself that I realized, all too late, I was now standing in front of Bella, so I grinned all crazy like and blurted the first thing that came to mind, "You two got a hot date tonight?"

She gave me an odd look and seemed to lose herself again. I stood there awkwardly waiting for her to say something, anything, but she just kept staring off into space. Okay, maybe something was seriously wrong with this girl.

Just as I was about to cut my losses and turn away, she almost choked out the most beautiful words, "A date, ha…with Jasper? No, no, we're partners in class. We have some studying to do." _Game back on, Cullen. She's free._

I smiled smugly when I noticed her tugging, in a way that appeared to be a nervous reaction, at her sleeve. Maybe she is attracted to him, but he doesn't feel the same. That would make sense with the way she was acting. _Go fucking figure, emotionally unavailable._

"I see. So you like him, and he doesn't know. I get it. Okay, well, see you around, Isabella." I turned to walk away, praying Bella was indeed a short form for Isabella and deciding it best just to stay away from her. Nothing but trouble would come of it, anyway. Even if she wasn't all hung up on hot, preppy dude, I was her TA, and she was a student. I'd just have to keep reminding myself of that.

Her soft, breathy whimper stopped me dead in my tracks. "Please, Edward, touch me!"

_Say what?_ I did not just hear that. I couldn't have. She wouldn't have said that.

I turned slowly, cautiously, "What did you just say?" I watched her face, confused at first, turn to one of shock.

"Uh, I didn't say anything." She looked so flustered and jittery, I just knew she actually had. So I threw caution to the wind, a momentary lapse of sanity, and called her on it.

"Oh, yes you did. You just asked me to touch you. Well, more like begged me to." I clucked my tongue, feeling rather smug and as if I were pumped up on way too much sugar, and crossed my arms and grinned down at her, noticing her slack mouth.

She said nothing, but her jaw remained slack, and her eyes were wide and shocked.

I decided it was time for her to eat her own words. I walked around her and leaned over her shoulder, until my lips were just mere inches from her ear and whispered, "You know, Isabella, if you just asked nicely, I'd be more than happy to acquiesce." I then placed a soft, ghost of a kiss on her delicate, milky white neck and turned and walked away before anyone could catch me drooling all over her. I grabbed my chosen book and headed straight for my carrel for some much needed palm to raging hard on love.

Days droned on, my head was stuck somewhere I wasn't sure I wanted it to be. My attention span and concentration level was off the chart. One minute I would be deep in the world of my books and studies- lost in learning and thriving on knowledge, and the next I would be submersed in thoughts of Bella. Bella smiling at me. Bella looking up at me from under those thick, long lashes. Bella straddling me. Bella bouncing on my lap. Bella wrapping her hot, wet mouth around my… Fuck, now I'm hard, of course. And these thoughts of her, these unforgiving thoughts, are going to be the death of my future. I am a fucking TA and having thoughts like these about a student is wrong. Sure, she's likely the same age as me, maybe a bit younger, but I agreed to be a TA which meant certain rules would have to be followed, and the cardinal one being, no interrelations with students in that class. One fucking class, full of less than fifty students and go figure, she just had to be in that one. Not in any of the others I take. No, that would be too fucking easy.

My little stunt in the library weighed heavily on me. I knew it was wrong, but it's like whenever I am in the same vicinity as her, all reason flies right out my ear. I am consumed in her. Numbed by her presence and lost in her beauty, and all I can think about is what it would feel like to finally kiss her. To feel her lips on mine. Then, of course, my traitorous brain flips into overdrive and goes all out porn on me , and next thing I know Bella's screaming out my name as I slam into her against a shelf of old, dusty books, and ten seconds later I am cumming into my hand like a pubescent teenaged boy. Like I said, I am so fucked; it's not even funny anymore.


	22. Chapter 22

**NSG chapter 22**

**BPOV**

I could feel tears burning past the brims of my eyes and just had to get out of there.

I felt so betrayed, so angry...so pathetic.

I could already imagine Edward having a good laugh at my expense. I knew after him seeing me in the library he would think me easy and trashy, but I had hoped to have the chance to clear that up with him, tonight.

At this very moment, he is probably chortling about the not-so-easy easy girl and labelling me some laughable name like cock tease or some shit.

I guess when I really thought about it, I couldn't blame him. I mean, there I was rubbing my nub up against some guy in the library; of course he thought I was easy, and would expect for me to be the type to just put out. But Jasper, fuck Jasper, he should have known. I had told him no actual sex, and I thought he was my friend and understood.

I stumbled down the stairs; between my lack of coordination and my obscured vision, it was a surprise I made it to the bottom in one piece.

My mind taunted me, told me that I got what I deserved. This is what I showed to the world. An easy girl, just out looking for some good old fashioned fun, and my stomach churned in disgust as I fumbled my way through the empty, dark library.

The streetlights in the front courtyard shone brightly through the large glass doors at the front of the library. I let it guide me through the streaming tears. It was where I needed to be. I darted forward when I heard my name being called. Somewhere behind me, they were coming, closer and closer, footsteps beating on the floor louder and louder until it felt like my ear drums were beating along with them, and then the front door opened, and I skidded to a stop as I struggled through the torrent of tears to make out the small form hovering in front of me.

"Bella? Oh my God, Bella. What happened to you? Are you alright?"

Hands that once filled me with ecstasy now sent a surge of pure unadulterated hate coursing through my veins. Soft and tentative, a swipe across my forehead, her eyes looked so concerned. She was so oblivious to reality. Sure, she could go on acting as if everything was okay. Men didn't look at her as easy; they looked at her as experienced.

"Bella, say something. You're scaring the shit out of me." Her arm encased my waist, and I could feel her leading me somewhere. I blinked rapidly and had to bite back a scream as pain radiated through my entire being. There, in front of me, looking like a deer caught in headlights, was Edward. He raised his hand tentatively towards me, and I shook like a leaf.

"What the fuck happened here, Edward?"

'Not now, Alice. I need to talk to Bella. So, if you'd just…"

"Don't yell at me you simple-minded, good-for-nothing-but-a-fuck, asshole."

"STOP!"

I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't even realize the hysterical, high pitch voice yelling was mine until two sets of eyes, and then three, were on me. Jasper stopped cold when my eyes raked over his disheveled appearance, and I looked back at Edward, his hair was in the same disarray. Back and forth I looked between the two and every time my eyes passed over one of them, I felt bile rise higher and higher in my throat. They couldn't have. Not after that. Not after I took off. They wouldn't, right? It was just me and my overactive, always perverted imagination. They must have looked that way before I left, too.

"Bella, how about we go upstairs and talk about this?"

My eyes connected with Jasper's wide, blue ones, and I let out a cackle of a laugh.

"I don't fucking think so. You three…all three of you, think I'm that fucking gullible, don't you?"

Alice opened her mouth, but I glared at her, and she snapped it shut. I wasn't ready to hear her bullshit, either. All of this had transpired because of her to begin with. She had made me this. Before her, I was a good girl. I got good grades. I didn't drink very often. I never did drugs. I was as virginal as possible aside from the use of my toys. But now…now, what could I say about myself? Now, I whined about my assignments, slept with my teachers and fellow students, flirted like it was second nature, and all I could think about at this very moment was jumping in my truck and heading to the nearest 24 hour liquor store and drowning out my pain in a bottle of Jack.

"Don't fucking touch me. Never again will you touch me, Miss Brandon. Never," I hissed as I batted her small hands off of me. Alice took a small step back, obviously caught off guard by the venom in my trembling tone and my use of her formal name.

"You started this, but I won't blame you. There's no sense. I'm a big girl. I went with it, but I will end this, right now." My voice grew more and more confident with each word that fell from my quivering lips.

"And, you! I trusted you. You were supposed to be my friend. You knew I was a fucking virgin, yet you instigated me getting fucked, from behind no less, just for your own selfish fantasies. Why couldn't you have played that out with Alice? Why me, Jasper? You know what? Don't answer that. I won't let you justify that with some bullshit excuse."

I turned on my heel and slowly made my way to the door. I pulled it open and took a deep, shaky breath, and I felt my raging thoughts resolve, and before I could stop to over-think what I was about to do, I spun back around and ran towards Edward. He took an unsteady step back and looked like he was about to duck. Poor fucker probably thought I was going to deck him, and I should have, but before this horrendous night was out, I was going to make sure everyone knew exactly how I felt.

II stopped in front of him and placed my hands on his chest. I could feel his heart thundering in there, and it made it easier knowing that he was just as scared and confused as I was.

I looked up into his eyes and saw nothing but confusion clouding those lovely green emeralds, and I felt my throat constrict. It was such a painful injustice to see something so beautiful look so lost.

"You… you were blinded by this all. Sucked into the fuckery that is us, and for that I am so sorry. I don't know what they said to you to get you to agree to this, but…as much as I wanted it, I couldn't give you what you were asking for." I moved one hand up his chest, and let my fingers play along the side of his taut neck, reveling in the feeling of his soft, stubbly skin and the rhythm of his pulse beating there, before I slid it up to cup his jaw.

"From the very first moment I saw you, I knew you were different. I felt this pull, this staggering, breathtaking shot to my heart. You had me hooked when you breathed those first two words to the class, and now, now my only regret is that I never got to kiss you as me, as the real me, to tell you how I felt. Because then maybe, just maybe, we could have been something wonderful." I saw his chin tremble the slightest bit, and I felt the damn break. I was right all along. We could have been something if I hadn't been such a coward. Tears trickled from my eyes and pooled at my trembling chin, but I did nothing to stop them. They were tears for the joy and happiness that could have been, and those kind of tears I needed to let show.

My hand fell to my side, and I shook Edward off as he grappled to grab it. "Goodbye, Edward," I whispered and then turned and walked out of the library and into the chilly night air.


	23. Chapter 23

**EPOV**

I was lost. I had no clue what to do about the brown-eyed goddess that sat in the 5th row back, chewing on her pencil, unknowingly causing a raging ache to grow between my legs. I had no idea how to approach her. Not after my little slip up in the library. That wasn't me. I wasn't a sexual predator. Hell, I had only ever slept with one other girl before. A lot. Tanya and I had been very creative together sexually. That was what it was. No love. No lust. Just experimental fucking that had somehow lasted for five years.

She was my best friend, and the girl I lost my virginity to, she still was, except now we knew better. We knew a relationship like that was unhealthy so we ended it, on good terms, of course. We still talked from time to time, but it was getting harder and harder to stay in touch now that she had moved to California.

So, to pass my spare time and get further ahead in my studies, I had applied for a TA position. I never once dreamed I would get it. Word around campus was that Miss Brandon was a hard ass and that getting into her class was like running with a broken leg, not going to happen. So, when she had called me personally to come in for an interview, I had damn near shit bricks. I wasn't going to lie, that woman scared the living daylights out of me. She was petite in size, but her demeanor was that of a drill sergeant and apparently her sense of humor was non-existent and her tolerance level for anything disorderly was below zero.

I just knew that if she ever found out about my little run in with two of her students the other day, she was going to bag my ass and possibly even get me kicked out of school.

So, with all of that in mind, I stuttered through classes, trying my hardest to keep my eyes off of the beautiful swan, and I managed just fine, that is until she turned up half naked in my study.

It had been a long day last week when I realized I had forgot a bunch of papers in my carrel. I had to drive all the way back to the school to get them, and when I got to my carrel the door was locked. I found that peculiar because I knew I had left it unlocked purposely, so the night janitor could come in. he would always let me know his schedule, and if I wanted my room cleaned, I had to leave the door unlocked. He would lock it when he was done.

I had pulled out my keys, grumbling to myself about going crazy, when I heard the most tantalizing sound, a soft whimper of a moan and then my name, and I knew even in that breathy whisper that it was _her_. She was in my carrel calling out my name and doing what?

I waited and waited, with my ear to the door and my key in the lock, and when I heard her call my name, I quickly opened the door a crack, just enough for me to see what was going on. And, fuck, I was so not expecting to find her half naked on my couch with a dildo shoved inside of her. I couldn't help myself, I stood there eye-fucking this goddess as she writhed on my couch, calling my fucking name, and then her back arched and it was such a sight that I let a small "fuck" fall from my lips. I mentally kicked my own ass and shut the door. My breathing was erratic as I heard her call out, asking if anyone was there, and then I bolted, like a shot, towards the stairs and down them. I ran until I reached the front doors, my papers completely forgotten and a rock hard problem straining in my pants. I pushed them open and stumbled down the front stairs and flew behind the bushes that lined the front of the building.

Bella came out not long after that, and all too soon a car came, and she got in it and was gone, and I was still behind the bushes with my cock in my hands like a real school boy, all by my fucking self with no clue how to think straight never mind anything else.

I scrambled out of the bushes and detached my hand from my crotch and walked in a cloud of confusion towards my car.

I didn't know what to make of Bella. I had never felt this way about a girl, never had such an instant connection with anyone, really. There was just something about her. Her smile and the way her hips swayed gently as she walked. Her soft, tinkling laugh and that silly snort I sometimes heard when she obviously didn't know I was listening. The way she chewed her bottom lip near the left corner and the way her right eyebrow would lift whenever she was listening to a lecture from Miss Brandon. And now I had her climaxing and calling out my name to add to the never ending list of why I should dump my TA position and just go for it. But, of course, common sense had to rear its ugly head. Quit my TA job? What was I thinking? And for a girl, no less. A girl who may or may not even be interested in me. Sure, she was calling out my name as she pleasured herself, but maybe she was shallow, and I was reading her all wrong and all she saw when she looked at me was a piece of eye candy. Could I really throw away something so important on a chance to be with some girl who made me feel a bit different?

Days passed; I kept my TA position and fought the urge to jump the girl, instead opting for late nights with my first curled around my insanely hard cock and images of her arching off my couch while calling out my name playing out over and over in my head. Sometimes I even changed the images up, placed Bella in different positions, always alone and always pleasing herself, but different, on my bed, on the desk, in the shower, hell, even on the kitchen table.

This distraction, and all the self love, seemed to be enough to keep me away, but then I saw her scoffing at the current assignment Miss Brandon had just handed out, and I just had to open my big fucking mouth and ask her about it. When she didn't answer me, I called her out on it and told her how highly I thought of the book and the tales within it and even offered to help her through it after class. And when she agreed, I didn't even bother to try to hide the smirk that played on my lips. I would have her in my carrel, and this time she would know I was there. I told her when and where, and before I could stop myself, I winked at her and walked away.

I was sitting in my office, working through some notes and fighting a raging battle between my hormones and my brain, and I thought I had it all figured it out. I could help Bella with her work. I could maintain a calm and professional relationship with her, and I would do it because it was right, and I couldn't take the chance.

There was a loud rap at my door and my eyes immediately went to the clock on the wall. There were still a few hours before Bella was due. So, it couldn't be her.

"Come in," I called out and began to arrange my papers into a neat pile.

"Hi there, Mr. Cullen. Do you have a minute or two?"

I had to fight to hide my scowl as the student walked in and closed the door. I wasn't that I didn't like the student, per se, it was more of a personal thing. But I knew I had to rein in my emotions. I couldn't lose my control.

I nodded and motioned for him to sit. He did, and then he looked up at me with a cocky smirk and just watched me for a minute or two. I won't lie, the intensity of his gaze had me squirming in my seat and, for a fleeting moment, I thought maybe, just maybe, he was here to call me out on the whole attraction to Bella thing, but that couldn't be. No one knew, but maybe she had told him of our interactions in the library. Maybe.

"Do you need help with your assignment, Mr. Whitlock?"

He scoffed and gave me a sly smile, "I assure you I am well versed in The Canterbury Tales and need no help there. What I came here for is much more interesting. Something that involves…Bella…or I mean Isabella."

I balked and clamped my hands together on my desk to keep them from shaking.

"What about Miss Swan?" I asked, as calmly as I could. Inside, my stomach was twisting and my heart was trying to beat its way out of my chest. I was the farthest thing from calm.

"I actually have a proposition, of sorts, for you. I'm sure you know she has a thing for you, not quite love, but it could be something. However, Bella has this thing with self depreciation and won't allow herself to act on it. And, of course, it is obvious you, too, have some sort of attraction to her." He eyed me as if expecting me to argue with him; instead I opted to just hear him out. It would give me more time to come up with a rebuttal and a way to clean up this mess I had obviously made for myself.

"So, I want to tell you some things about Isabella, and I, of course, expect complete discretion. I am sure you know how badly this could turn out if anything left this room, considering the circumstances, yes?"

I had to give it to him, he had me. I could not argue with his logic. Regardless of what he had to say, any of this conversation leaving this room could only mean bad things. So, I did the only thing I could. I nodded in confirmation.

I sat there for twenty-five minutes, torturing myself as I listened to him speak of Bella in sexual ways. The way she tasted, how his fingers had been buried inside of her, how she squirmed and the noises she would make. He smiled as he told me about their last encounter, and I almost fell from my chair when he admitted that their third person in this whole sexapalooza was none other than the stoic, straight and narrow, Miss Brandon. But still, I did not interrupt him. It wasn't until he began discussing, in great detail, the way she looked naked and mid-orgasm that I snapped.

"Stop! What does telling me all of this have to do with anything? Are you trying to hurt me, Mr. Whitlock?" If that is why he had come here, to rub it in and flaunt his indiscretions with Bella at me, then what the hell did he want? None of it made any sense.

"I'm sorry you think that, Mr. Cullen. That was not my intention at all. I merely wanted you to understand the dynamic of my relationship with Miss Swan before I invited you to join us."

Say what? He couldn't possibly have just asked me that. He wouldn't? Why would he? And I could never fathom contemplating such a suggestion. I didn't want to share Bella. I wanted her to be mine, not _ours_. But what if what Jasper was saying was true? If this was Bella's lifestyle, and this is what she wanted, then I would never again have the chance to touch her or taste her or feel her, and god how I wanted to bend her over and bury my hard cock deep into her. Was this the only way my wants could ever even begin to come to fruition?

"I'm offering you a way in, Edward. The two of us could make her feel things she has never even imagined. Hell, I'll even invite Miss Brandon. She would be more than happy to join in."

I blanched back a bit at the thought of Miss Brandon in such an intimate way. I didn't look at her like that. She was the opposite of what attracted me to a woman. She was hard, where I liked soft. She was small and dainty, where I liked slim yet curvaceous. Then there was always her rough demeanor. She'd make for a damn good Domme someday.

It wasn't like I had never been in a three-way before. I had, in fact, been in two with Tanya, all to help her fulfill her fantasies. So, if I could do that for Tanya, someone who was never anything more than a friend with benefits, why couldn't I throw caution to the wind and do this for Bella, a girl who made my palms sweat and my heart race and my teeth chatter in nervousness? It wasn't like I hadn't enjoyed those past experiences, because I had. All parties involved had always left fully sated, and the things I had seen and done and tried still sometimes blew my mind, and this…this was my only way in. My only way to Bella. Could I turn down my only chance with her, regardless of the circumstances?

I lowered my head and inhaled deeply before I raised my eyes to meet with Jasper's steely, blue ones and nodded my head ever so minutely.

I would do this. I had to. I wanted to, and hopefully, I could make Bella see me as something more…something worth more than just sex.

"Great. She is meeting you here at six, so, I will come up around six-twenty. I'll let Alice know, but she does have a meeting tonight, so she will be here closer to seven-ish."

He rose to his feet, and I did the same. I put my hand out to shake his. I knew it was stupid, but I didn't know what else to say or do.

He took it and leaned forward, his hot breath fanning over my ear and causing me to shiver. I gulped audibly as he whispered in my ear, "I can't wait to see you naked, Edward. You have one hot body," And with that, he winked at me and turned and strutted out the door, leaving me gaping at the empty doorway.


	24. EPOV mini outtake 1

**NSG – EPOV mini outtake**

**This takes place just after Jasper leave Edward in his carrel. Enjoy my pervs...**

What felt like hours later, but was more like minutes, I stood on wobbly legs and made my way towards the door.

I had to fight internally with my nerves to stop my hands from shaking. Bella would be here in less than an hour. I needed to go and get something to help calm my nerves. Sure, I had agreed with Jasper's idea, but that didn't mean I was sitting easy with it.

I wanted any way into her good graces. Hell, I wanted any way into her, period, and he had presented me with the only plausible way I could think of. If Bella wasn't a one man kind of guy, which seemed more than obvious, well, then this was the only way to get to her, and hopefully this would help me get her out of my thoughts.

My brother had once mentioned that when you got a girl stuck in your head, one that would haunt your every thought and desire, fucking her six ways from Sunday was a sure fire way of getting her out of your system. So, that was what I was going to do. Alice and Jasper being there to take the edge off the insecurities I was feeling was just a bonus.

I honestly had no designs on Jasper. Even though it was painfully obvious he may have some not so innocent thoughts about me. I wasn't necessarily opposed to playing with him, so to speak. It wouldn't be the first sexual interaction I had with a man. And I had rather enjoyed myself with Felix, Jane and Tanya, but it was just touching and tasting, no penetration on either side, and it had taken a hell of a lot of booze to get me in the same bedroom with them all in the first place.

But, again, I had to remember, this was how I would get to at least touch Bella. To feel her, and taste her, and …I groaned and adjusted my painful erection in my pants and took a deep breath as I made my way into the hall. Thoughts like these would get me nothing but the all too realistic possibility of blue balls, because I had no time to deal with my ridiculously intense hard on. How the hell was I supposed to explain that right off the bat to Bella?

_I am so sorry, Miss Swan, I have to delay our meeting for just oh…unnngg…about another five minutes or so. Can you just stand out here, on the other side of the door and talk in a sweet, soft voice?_ With me beating my fucking weeping meat while convoluting her words into sweet sighs and my name falling from her slightly parted lips… Okay… enough with that train of thought, or I just may seriously convince myself to try it.

I decided to go down to the main floor, find something cool to drink, maybe head to the side of the building and sneak a smoke before dealing with Bella. I needed to cool off and get my head in the game. Bella would never see me as anything other than something sexual, so I had to get the thought of anything more out of my thick fucking skull. Sec, Edward. Think sex. This was easier said than done, because, honestly, aside from Bella, no one had ever had this kind of effect on me. I had met tons of hot chicks, and they all seemed to throw themselves at me, so it wasn't like I was desperate. There was just something about her, in her sweet smile, in her shimmering brown eyes, even in the way she stared off in a daze while chewing on her pencil, that pulled me to her, that made me want to spend the rest of forever trying to unlock the pieces that made up Bella Swan.

As I made my way down the stairs, my thoughts went from confused and curious to seriously perverted. Visions of Bella bent over my desk consumed me. My pants tightened and my breath hitched. Even in my head she was so fucking hot and sinfully innocent looking, I swear I almost came in my pants. Feeling like a horny high school boy, I shook my head to rid me of thoughts of Bella's fine ass and stopped dead in my tracks because right there in front of me, in the fucking library, was Bella's ass, with Jasper's hands all over it. I clenched my teeth as a blazing anger coursed through me. I didn't know what to think of this fucked up feeling, but I did know that I had no right to be so pissed off. I closed my eyes, counted to three and then re-opened them to find Bella looking over Jasper's shoulder, her smile immediately dropping into a frown when her eyes met mine. I huffed out a breath and decided Bella Swan was not worth so much effort. She would never be the kind of girl to look at as anything besides a fuck, so that is how I would look at her from now on. I shook my head and spun on my heel. Smoking would have to wait. I had better, more important issues to deal with.

Once I got back to my carrel, I pulled out the belongings that had tormented me for the past few days. Bella's bra and dildo. I flicked the button a few times as I sat at my desk and watched the strange contraption flicker and twirl in my hands as a sinfully delicious planned formed in my perverted mind. Tonight, I would show Bella just what kind of man I could be. Tonight, I would not be Edward Cullen TA to Miss Brandon; tonight, I would be Edward fucking Cullen, orgasm inducer extraordinaire. Tomorrow she may be in another man's bed, or possibly a woman's, but tonight she would scream my name.


	25. JPOV mini outtake 2

**Outtake # 2**

**JPOV **

I saw him, and I knew that he saw us, too. It was perfect. I hadn't planned on him seeing us, but it worked even better this way. I could see the jealously and rage in his eyes and his jaw clench, and I knew when I got up there tonight, he would take all that frustration out sexually. It was perfect. I couldn't have planned this better myself.

When I first figured out that Bella and Alice had a thing, it drove me wild. I was consumed with thoughts and fantasies that involved both me watching them and me joining them. I couldn't even begin to count the numerous times I had beat off in the shower or in my bed, or, hell, even on my living room couch thinking about all the possible positions I could put that sexy ass Miss Brandon in. I swear I even began to develop a form of callous on my palm from all the extra friction.

When Bella had teased me and asked me to join them, I was in my fucking glory. I had tortured myself for the days leading up to the Friday by analyzing every last possibility of what could happen. Had Bella just been fucking with me? Or maybe she invited me and didn't tell Miss Brandon. But as the days passed by, I realized that Bella didn't joke about things like that.

When I got to join, it was fucking sublime, every man's fantasy, and it had brought out a vicious sexual predator in me that I thought I had long ago buried and locked away. I was wrong, so wrong. That predator was alive and well, and stronger than hell now that he'd had a taste of the wild side.

Then, when I got to bang Alice over her desk and tease the hell out of her, I realized she was just like me in many ways; a voyeur, open minded, kinky as fuck, and demanding as all hell when she wanted to be. She was mother fucking perfection all wrapped into a tiny bundle of fuck hot. My thought process began to shift because of this revelation and a plan began to form in my mind as soon as I caught sight of Bella ogling the new TA.

It wasn't that I didn't enjoy being with both Bella and Alice, but Bella was a nice girl, sweet and innocent and even though she had the sexual curiosity of a college girl hyped up on ecstasy, she had way too much real potential going for her. She was my friend, and I was slowly growing to love her, and I wanted nothing more than to see her truly happy. I knew she enjoyed playing with Alice and had even been seriously into it by the end of our threesome, but I could see a longing in her eyes whenever she looked at the TA. I wanted to give that to her, but I didn't know how. I wasn't the romantic type by a long shot, but I knew someone who might have a better idea than me, so I went to her and pleaded and yelled and ended the night by fucking her into submission, and she finally agreed with me. Bella needed normalcy. She needed a normal relationship, and she needed to grow on her own two feet, both as woman and as a sexual being.

And so our plan formed; we had to find a way to get Edward- the TA- to join our little fuck fest. Alice was sure he would be on board right off the hop; what man wouldn't? But I was a bit more perceptive than her, and he was, after all, a hot piece of man meat, so I had obviously paid him more attention that she had. It was obvious that he had it bad for Baby Swan and apparently didn't feel confident enough to approach her with me around all the time. So, I had to find a way to play on his insecurities, make our relationship known, and make him believe this was the best he would get out of what he would surely agree was a secretly naughty little school girl hidden behind the guise of a sweet baby swan.

"What are you doing there, baby? You look like someone stole your last Rollo." I startled as Alice's playful voice whispered across my ear, causing me to shiver and my pants to immediately tighten.

"Nothing, darlin'. Just making sure I dot all my i's and cross all my t's. I keep feeling like I'm missing something, but for the life of me, I can't figure out what it might be." I sighed deeply and leaned my head back into her chest. A low groan rose in my throat when I felt her perky, little breasts rub up against my cheek. I opened my eyes and growled at the sight before me. Alice was always such an eager beaver, but even this caught me off guard.

"Alice, we're outside, darlin'. What if someone comes and sees you like this?" _Come to think of it, who cares? You're mine, and I'll make sure whatever mother fucker it is knows you're all mine. Or, hell, maybe he'll be hot and he can join us._

I shook my head and grinned up at her. The naughty beast inside of me was beating on his chest all caveman like, and I could no longer banter with reason. All I could think about was being buried inside her hot, wet heat.

"Never mind. I don't care." I stood and unbuckled my pants and leaned forward to plant a rough kiss on her lips. "I need to be in you."

Alice giggled and turned around. My jaw dropped. I thought she was actually going to just leave me here, like this, all hard and frustrated and needy. But no; she planted her hands, palm down, on the railing of her back deck. My eyes grew wide and my dick wept at the sight before me. Alice bent over. Her firm, little ass jutted out, her slick, pink lips glistening and just begging to be fucked.

I watched as a shiver ran through her body, goose bumps peppering her flesh, and I lost it.

In two quick strides, I was behind her. I wasn't sweet. I wasn't gentle. I grabbed my throbbing cock and in one fluid movement thrust it deep inside of her.

Alice cried out, and I kept slamming into her, oblivious to anything else besides the intense, all consuming, delicious feeling of being inside of her. I could hear her husky moans and whimpered pleas for more, and I gave it to her. More than she could probably handle. She would surely be sore tomorrow. In and out, swivel and thrust. I'd pull out and she'd whimper in need. Each time I slammed back into her warmth, she'd cry out as my balls slapped against her clit. Her back would arch, her whole body would quiver and I would lose another thread of control.

"Fuck, darlin', you feel so fucking good. Do you like me fucking you out here. All bent over and spread where anyone could see what I'm doing to you?"

I pulled back and smacked her ass. She jumped slightly in surprise, and a small yelp mingled with her whimpers and moans.

"Yes, Jasper. Yes. I love it. I want the world to know that my body belongs to you. Only you can bring me this kind of tortuous pleasure," Alice cried out. A low guttural growl clawed up my throat, and I slammed into her with all my might.

My legs began to shake and my vision began to darken, but I had to have her join me as I lost it. I reached forward and pressed my thumb into her swollen clit just as my thrusts started becoming erratic and my breathing picked up. She felt so good. I could barely hold myself up, and I wanted to totally let myself go and just lose it. "Come for me, darlin'," I growled out as I struggled to make the sentence leave my mouth, and she did, instantly. Her walls began clenching and her back arched beautifully. Her ass raising even higher for my viewing pleasure, and in my delirium of ecstasy and my desperate need to consume her as she had me, I pressed my middle finger gently into her tight little ass, and she went wild. Bucking, moaning, screaming out my name, and then she collapsed onto her arms, her breath leaving her in small pants, my own not that much different.

I pulled out of her and took a step back, before I flopped down into the chair that was there. Lazily, I patted my lap for her to join me, and together we sat there until our bodies and minds would cooperate with each other.

"Well, that definitely makes the top three on my list," Alice chuckled out.

I raised my brow in challenge and possibly a bit of jealously, too.

"Top three?"

Alice giggled and buried her face into the crook of my neck.

"I hate what you've turned me into, but I can't bring myself to want to stop it either. I'm so lost in you, Jasper Whitlock. The number one time was in my classroom...with you, and the number two time was with you and Bella. It's like...it's like it was always meant to be you."


	26. Chapter 24

**NSG – Chapter 24**

BPOV

My dad stopped demanding answers, and I stopped counting the days. If I had to guess, I would say I had been holed up in my room now for five days total since that clusterfuck of a night. I called the school and told them there was a death in the family and that I wouldn't be back until next week. Thankfully, since I never miss any school and my grades are exemplary, they didn't ask questions, and I am a grown adult so they can't call my dad, either. My dad, however, has damn near been crawling up the walls trying to get me to talk to him. He just doesn't understand that talking is the last fucking thing I want to do right now...drinking this pretty bottle of Grey Goose, however_... that_ I am so all about doing.

I clambered out of bed, not realizing my feet were all twisted up in the sheets, and face planted before my second foot could come anywhere near the cold, wooden floor.

"Fuck, that's gonna hurt later," I burst into a fit of giggle-snorts and rolled over onto my back, smiling victoriously at the ceiling; my bottle of liquid fix-it-all was still intact. That was all that really mattered. I swiped at my mouth, paying no mind to the smear of blood on the back of my hand and then brought the bottle to my dry, cracked lips and took a long, burning swig. I don't remember getting off of the floor. I don't remember tucking the bottle away under my bed so my dad wouldn't have yet another thing to question me incessantly about, and I don't remember crawling into my dishevelled and very smelly bed.

"Bells...Bells..."

"Waaahh, what, Dad? Do you really have to yell? I can hear you just fine," I groaned into my pillow as my head throbbed to a beat I couldn't hear.

"It's Sunday. You've been in this room all week, and it smells like something died in here. Get up. There is Advil and water on your bedside table; take them and then take a shower and clean your room. Breakfast will be ready in an hour.

Oh fuck! Was Charlie really going to try and cook? I tossed my blankets back and shivered violently. I briefly considered that it could be from the amount of alcohol running through my system, but quickly realized, while that might have been a factor, the window being wide open in mid-October was likely the cause of my quivers.

I wobbled towards the window, trying to remember what the fuck I did last night, and what on earth would posses me to open my window? But the thought process hurt, and I didn't really care, so I just slid the heavy, wooden window closed and threw on a shirt that I found crumpled up on the floor. Apparently, I had forgotten to do the laundry this past week, as well.

It took almost a whole hour to clean my room. The laundry was like a mountain of angry, stinky gremlins piled on top of each other. I had to fight and struggle to get a few off the floor. Some were stuck to it with what appeared to be gum, some I had to get my umbrella out of the closet to use to pick them up, because, even if I was drunk out of my wits, I don't think I'd even have the courage to touch them, and I swear one actually snarled at me when I poked it.

I mentally slapped myself, numerous times, and wondered again how the hell had I let myself stoop to this?

I changed the sheets and blankets, scrubbed the floor with Pine Sol, started the laundry, threw out the piles of garbage, and even a plate I found under my bed that had some sort of fungi growing on it, and then sprayed Febreeze to try to mask the pungent smell that still lingered in the air.

I contemplated just crawling back into my bed and sipping on the reminder of my Grey Goose, but my dad was waiting, and I smelled all kinds of raunchy, so I padded my way to the bathroom and got in the shower. The scalding hot water seemed to not only wash away all the grime that had built up on my skin, but also to awaken my foggy brain. Over and over, that night replayed in my head until I thought I might scream in agony, but then something else formed and solidified. I didn't make a fool of myself. I just made my voice heard, for once. I should be proud and strong and not let that whole debacle define me.

I didn't need Alice; she was my teacher, and she had no choice but to continue on with that. And Jasper...well, Jasper was my partner in class, but our project was finished; I shouldn't have to work with him anymore, and Edward...just the thought of him caused my heart to sink, my chest to clench, my eyes to water and my fingers to twitch with yearning, but Edward was too far out of my league. That much was obvious. I had to get past him. I had to be my own woman, and I had to get my head on straight. _That _I could not do with images of him floating behind my eyes and memories of his hands on me clouding my common sense.

-VV-

"Miss Swan, it is so good to see you back in class." I cringed a bit hearing Alice address me as I snuck in fifteen minutes late to class. I had tried to be quiet and just slide into an empty seat at the back of the room, but my damn feet were not cooperating with me today, and I stumbled up the last step, thus alerting the whole class to my grand entrance by waving my ass in the air.

My faced flamed as I took in the amused expressions of my classmates. I stuttered and mumbled and flopped into the closest chair, before realizing exactly what Miss Brandon, I only let myself call her that now, had said to me.

I waved my hand frantically in the air as my chest tightened and my breathing sped up. I could not meet with Miss Brandon after class. I wasn't quite ready for that.

"Yes, Miss Swan?"

"I'm sorry, Miss Brandon," I began, in what I hoped was a strong, confident voice, "I can't meet you after class. I have a doctor's appointment."

A few kids sucked in deep breaths. I could see them looking at me incredulously. Of course they would be. They all viewed Alice as the dragon lady, but I knew better, and I wasn't afraid of her.

"I see. Well, in that case. I will arrange another time after I look over my schedule."

I hadn't expected her to be that easy, but I couldn't help but be relieved that it was. Jasper was pst'ing and making come hither gestures from my old seating area, and it took a lot of restraint to ignore him and not flip him the bird, or worse, tell him to take a flying fuck in front of the whole class.

"Hey...um...Bella, right?" A deeply accented voice startled me, and I turned to find out I wasn't the only one hiding in the back corner of the room. A guy I hadn't ever noticed in class before sat two rows back from me and was talking to me.

I blinked a few times just taking him in and trying to accept that someone had had a front row seat to yet another episode of 'Bella's ultimate humiliation'.

He had long blond hair and bright blue eyes. His smile was lazy and amused, and he had a glint in his eyes that could only mean one thing, he was about to make a joke at my expense.

I hunkered down and pulled on my bitch pants before answering him, "Listen, I'm not here to make small talk. Yeah, you got a good show. Laugh it up. Snicker, whatever you have to do have a good time. But leave me the fuck alone. Okay, smart ass?"

His mouth gaped slightly, and I felt a small amount of smugness at his expression. It felt good to stand up for myself. I could definitely get used to the empowering feeling coursing through me.

"Actually, Bella. I wasn't laughing at you, but your little butt wave was rather enticing, to be honest. I was just going to ask you if you wanted to get together sometime, out of class? Maybe go for dinner or coffee or something."

I froze. He could so not be serious. He was asking me out on a fucking date? And I just mega-bitched him. Yeah, now I felt like a total douche. I swallowed hard and was about to politely tell him I was done with men, with dating, period, when I remembered Alice and Jasper and Edward, and my humiliation, and I decided it wouldn't hurt. He was easy enough on the eyes, and that little scar on his bottom lip was seriously hot.

"Sure? I'm sorry, what's your name?"

"James."

"James, I think I would really like that, actually. Dinner would be nice." I smiled up at him, and he cocked his head to the side.

I wondered briefly what he was doing, that is until I heard someone clear their throat. I spun around, only to be met with a pair of slanted, blazing, green eyes. Fuck!

"Sorry to interrupt your little flirt session," Edward barked in a very cold, distant tone. I flinched and felt tears begin to pool under my lids.

"I went over your assignment, Miss Swan, and have set up a meeting for you and Mr. Whitlock to attend here in the class to go over it. Here is the date and time." With that he turned and stalked back down the narrow walkway.

I lowered myself in my seat and took out my laptop as I gulped back tears of despair and frustration. A wadded up piece of paper fell on my desk, and I smiled a real genuine smile as I smoothed it out and saw the quirky little googly face with a phone number scrawled below it.

-VV-

My meeting was set for next week with Edward and Jasper to go over our assignment. What we had to go over was beyond me, but I suspected this was just a conniving way to get me in the same room with them, alone, so they could... what? Apologize. I snorted at the idea. A simple apology would not suffice, especially from Jasper. Edward, maybe. The poor guy likely had no idea what a clusterfuck of retardedness he was getting himself into to begin with, but Jasper...Jasper knew, and Jasper shouldn't have put me in a situation like that, and Alice...well, Alice, I wasn't even sure why I was mad at her, but I was. It was her damn fault I was put in a predicament like that to begin with. If she hadn't gone all sexy school teacher on me and showed me just how good sexual play was, I would still be the good little girl from Forks, oblivious and invisible, just the way I liked it.

I figured until then I would just lay low, avoid all three of them and enjoy myself. I was going out with James tonight, and he seemed like a good enough way to keep my mind occupied. I knew it was wrong of me to say yes to him when I wasn't really interested in him. But it wasn't like I was using him; we were just two people from the same class going out for dinner to enjoy each other's company. Nothing more, nothing less. Or, at least, that's how I looked at it.

"You look absolutely ravishing, Bella." I blushed and stifled a snort as I closed the door behind me and took hold of James' outstretched hand. As sweet as it sounded, it reminded me of a really cheesy pick up line.

"Thanks. You look good, too."

"I made reservations at a small pub on the edge of town. Nothing fancy, but they make great food and it will be quiet. I hope you don't mind."

I actually didn't. It sounded perfect. "It sounds great. I'm not too big on crowds, anyway."

We drove in silence all the way to the restaurant. I could tell James was looking for something to say, but every time he looked my way, I turned towards to the window. I felt out of my element with him. He seemed nice enough, but something about him was almost sort of wigging me out. I knew I was just being paranoid and jittery, but I just couldn't shake the feeling that I had made a terrible mistake by agreeing to go out with James.

We chatted idly over dinner, which was simple spaghetti and meatballs with garlic toast. I learned that James was taking the course just purely for fun. He had already published his own novel about some possessed house, and it was apparently doing very well. He promised to get me a signed copy by next class so I could read it. I told him about my dreams of becoming a published author myself, maybe not necessarily novels, but I really wanted to work on a newspaper and cover things like world hunger and environmental issues. He laughed softly at that and said, "At one point, didn't we all." I didn't quite understand that cryptic remark, but I let it drop and moved on to a whole other topic. How I had never noticed him in class before?

"Actually, Bella, I have been there for every class. I noticed you the very first day. I just never got a chance to talk to you because you were always with the guy with the lazy drawl.

I snorted at that and immediately blushed and covered my face in embarrassment.

"Don't...don't hide or be embarrassed. That was actually kinda cute." James winked at me, and I laughed softly at his playfulness. It was nice to be with a guy and just be. No pressure, no expectations, and the easy conversation was definitely an added bonus.

We ordered dessert, deciding on a large portion of a chocolate lava cake and two spoons.

While we waited, James enlightened me on the ethics of school. He had quite the colourful vocabulary when it came to our school's code of conduct versus what the faculty really did behind closed doors.

Apparently, the faculty here had a thing for their students, 'cause as it turned out, according to James, three prestigious teachers were currently having hay romps with students, and one left last year and married one of his students, as well. It was almost like some twisted love match here. It made my stomach queasy just thinking about it, and I couldn't help but wonder if I was the first and only student Miss Brandon had ever taken to her car.

"Bella...Bella is that you?"

My awkward laugh halted mid-cackle and my stomach dropped as my food sprouted legs and began to climb my narrow airway. I gasped and sputtered as I attempted to gulp up as much air as possible.

Edward in all his sexy glory was standing right in front of me and glaring blatantly at James.

James, completely clueless, smiled up at him. "Hi, Mate. Fancy seeing you here. We haven't officially met yet, because I handed my project in via email, but I'm James Hunter." James stuck his hand out to shake Edward's, and I damn near shit my pants when Edward eyed it like it was covered in shit, and then the cocky bastard had the gall to harrumph instead of shaking it.

"This shouldn't bother me so much. I knew what you were like," Edward said tersely, and I felt my heart stop beating right then and there as he walked away and sidled up beside some gorgeous leggy blond.


	27. Chapter 25

**NSG Chapter 25**

"I...I'm so sorry about that, James. If you'll just excuse me for a moment." I didn't wait for his answer, but the accepting compassion I saw in the brief moment I let my eyes meet his told me that he understood, and he would wait for me.

I left my purse and my coat and swayed on heavy feet as I made my way to the bathroom. It was empty, for which I was grateful, and I slid into the solitary stall and fell to the floor with my knees pulled tightly to my chest. I was glad that I didn't wear a skirt, or this position would have proved very uncomfortable. I stared at the dirty bowl in front of me as tears streamed down my cheeks and lost myself in my pain and confusion. Ed..._that man_ was infuriating. What the hell did he mean by 'he knew what I was like'? I guess he likely didn't have the best perception of me, but after everything I had said that night, after everything I had poured out from deep within the aching cavity of my chest, I thought maybe he could look past my obvious frivolousness and see deeper, see the girl I was, the woman I wanted to be. Apparently not. Maybe I was wrong about him all along. I had thought him hot and cocky and just as confused as I, but it appeared he was still an insensitive jerk; a hot, mouth watering, heart skipping jerk, but still a jerk.

I didn't hear the door open, but suddenly I could hear sniffles, soft, masculine sniffles. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end, my heart picked up its beat and my fingers, of their own accord, reached behind me and tentatively touched the cool, metal door.

He was here. I knew it was him. I could feel him as well as I could feel the numbing cold seeping into my bottom.

"I can feel you. Even through the door. It's like you're attached to me by some invisible string, and I can feel your pain and your frustration and your confusion, and I feel the same, all the time. I didn't mean what I said back there. I don't even know why I said it. I just...I saw you with him, and it hurt, and I wanted it to be me so bad. I lashed out and I said shit I shouldn't have said, and I am so sorry, Bella." His usually strong voice was choppy and soft, and sniffles interrupted some of his words, but I heard them; and I felt them in the pit of my aching heart; and for the first time in weeks, I felt something stir there, in that spot just under my rib cage where the pain always pumped freely, and it felt amazing and scary and wonderful and...I stumbled to my feet and wiped my nose on the side of my sleeve. Gross, I know, but in that moment, I couldn't care less. I looked like hell, I was sure of it, what was a little snot to top it off.

I slid the lock over and slowly opened the door. My breath hitched. He was there. All gorgeous and breathtaking, with glistening eyes, and I saw the solitary liquid tear as it slid towards his trembling lips before he was able to swipe it away.

"I feel it, too." So simple to say, but so damn frustrating to comprehend.

Whatever was happening between us had been there right from the start. The moment I saw him, and apparently the moment he saw me, too. We were connected by forces unseen and it was a disconcerting feeling; but not in a bad way, just in a way that was something like, 'what the hell is going on here? This is so intense and all consuming.' And then his arms were around me, and he was holding me tight, and it was real and felt right and perfect, just like home.

I shifted my head to look up into his sparkling eyes, they no longer looked all lost, but as if they were smiling at me. I smiled up at them and at him, and before I could over think and confuse myself out of this, I raised myself on to my tippy toes and pressed my lips to his.

He didn't hesitate or freeze up. His hands pulled me closer, until it felt like we were one. I could feel every inch of him through my thin shirt. My body seemed to suck in the heat pouring off of him, and it felt like that heat had a life force of its own. It crawled inside my pores and merged with my being and just swallowed me whole. I was lost. I was his, and I had never felt so right before, as I did in his arms, right this moment. His hot tongue flicked at my lips, and I parted them with a soft gasp. It was all hot and wet and struggle, push and pull and fuck me gently with a chainsaw, I swear to heaven I had to pull back or I would have came on the spot. He tasted delicious, all cinnamon and cigarettes with a hint of coffee.

I let my head fall against his chest as I tried to rein in my emotions and get my breathing under control, but his hands, they were magical and they were moving up and down my back, along my hips to the curve of my ass, and oh, sweet baby Jesus. I moaned into his chest and bit down on the soft flesh there. I heard him hiss, and the sound went straight to my girlie bits. I squirmed in his embrace and groaned when the seam of my pants grazed across my swollen clit.

My mind was lost in a haze of want and need and desire and, well, let's be honest - dirty, raunchy, take me here and now - fucking. I wanted it. I wanted him. More than I had ever wanted anything before. Virginity be damned, I didn't care, I was going to have this magnificent man groaning out my name in ecstasy if it was the last thing I ever did.

My hands were at his belt buckle as he lapped and nibbled on my neck. Soft, embarrassing mewls fell from my lips in a distorted mantra. His lips were so soft, his teeth so teasing. My panties were soaked just from what his lips were doing to me; I couldn't wait to have him inside of me, moving, and thrusting, and groaning into my neck, and filling me to the point of almost painfulness.

"Edward, are you in there?" My hand stopped its popping motion just in time for his jeans button to pop open. I had forgotten about the bleached blond with the melons for boobs, and now she was banging on the door across from this one, thinking her...her what? Was in the men's bathroom, when really he was here with me, still... holy fuck - he obviously can't hear her. Oh, that tongue. A strangled moan crawled up my throat and past my lips, and with a motion that physically hurt me, I pulled back from him. Confusion laced his features as he panted breathlessly and watched me intently, but understanding dawned real fast the second he heard her voice.

"I'm not fucking kidding, Edward. Get your mopey ass out here and stop being a baby."

"Wait, Bella...it's not what you think." His eyes pleaded with me for understanding, his words matched, but my anger mounted instantly, and before I knew it my hand stung across his beautiful face, leaving him gaping and me cursing from the sting.

"That's it. Fuck this. Mom said you needed some cheering up, but I am so not digging this drama. Find your own fucking way home."

My eyes widened and my mind spun...Mom? Oh shit! Guilt coursed through me, guilt and shame and...

"Edward, I'm so sorry. I was... I don't know what to say. I just thought..."

"Bella, stop. It's okay. I'm kind of known for being presumptuous, myself. Not to mention my ever rearing jealous tendencies." He gave me that panty-dropping, mind numbing crooked smile of his, and I just couldn't figure out what I was rambling or apologizing about anymore.

"Listen, I have to catch up to my sister, and you have someone out there waiting for you. Don't leave, okay. I will drive home with her and get my car. Then I'll be right back for you." I nodded dumbly, 'cause what else could I do when this pretty, pretty boy was standing so close to me, and touching me and my panties were all wet, so where was I going to go anyway, and James...fuck...James was out there, in the restaurant, waiting for me. Fuck!

As Edward ducked out the door, I exhaled deeply, feeling my head spinning slightly from the pressure. I must have been holding that breath for some time now.

James. Now I had to go and explain myself to him.

I straightened my appearance the best I could. It seemed Edward had left a small bite mark on my neck, and without my purse, I didn't stand a chance in hell of covering it up. Time to face the music, Swan. You made your bed, now die in it.

"Are you okay? You've been gone awhile, and pardon my French, but you look like hell."

I snorted at James' bluntness, always one to just get it out there, it seemed.

"I am, now. Thanks. I think," I mumbled as I sat down across from him, still reeling with the events that had just taken place bombarding my mind_. His hands, his lips, his tongue, the huge straining bulge in his..._

"Bella, are you sure you're okay?"

I sighed and forced myself to concentrate on the moment, "No, James. I'm not. I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't have agreed to go out with you, when...when I have feelings for someone else."

James watched me intently for a moment. His eyes bored into mine until I dropped them to the table and began fidgeting with my hands. I heard him breathe deeply, and I braced myself for an onslaught of insults and disgust, so when he started laughing, and I mean deep, bellyaching guffaws; my eyes shot up to meet his crinkled ones in shock.

"Oh, Bella. Come here." James scooted over in his seat and motioned for me to join him on the bench seat beside him. Numbly, I did. I climbed out of my seat, gaping openly at him. I slid in beside him and angled myself so I could resume my gaping fish impression.

James pulled me into his side and wrapped his one arm around me, tightly. It was comforting, it was nice. It felt safe and brotherly. "I knew there was something between you and that TA boy the second I saw him looking at you in class. I didn't realize how intense it was, but no biggie. It is obvious there are some unresolved issues there, and I won't pry, but we're friends, right?" I nodded, wide eyed and totally blown away by this man's amazing ability to be so compassionate and understanding. He was perfect, honestly, just not perfect for me.

"Well, friends listen to friends. So, if you want to talk about it, I'm here. Always. So...friends?" His other arm jutted awkwardly between us as he held his hand out to me. Tears pricked at the creases of my eyes, and I threw scepticism to the wind and threw my arms around his neck, squeezing him tightly as I sobbed into his shoulder. "Yes...friends."

When we pulled apart, I held his face between my hands and looked him right in the eyes, "James, you are a wonderful, handsome and amazing man. Someday, you're gonna make some lucky girl insanely happy. I want that for you. You deserve it. But, I'm glad you can see it can't be me. But, I so can make a pretty kick ass friend to have around," I joked, nudging him in the shoulder. He smiled goofily down at me just as I caught a glimpse of Edward out of the corner of my eye. My head whipped around and stopped when our eyes connected. His cautious, mine dancing. That boy could bring out some insane emotions in me. I smiled at him and motioned for him to join us.

"Hey," he said as he approached the table, "Everything okay, here?"

"Absolutely peachy, mate. Take a seat. I'm sure you two want some time alone, so, just let me suck this baby back," James picked up his mug of beer and gulped it back in one large swallow, then banged it onto the table, smirking at me as he let out that sigh, you know, the one you make when you've just had a very deserving drink and it feels good and satisfying – yeah that sound. "Now, you, call me later, and you, treat her right. She's a gem." I stood and hugged him one more time, my chest constricting with an emotion I was not used to. If I ever had a brother, I'd hope he would have been just like James.

"Thanks. I'll call you tomorrow." And I would. Because James was exactly the type of friend I needed right now, one that didn't want or expect anything from me, one that would just accept me, for me.


	28. Chapter 26

**NSG- Chapter 26**

_When you know what you want,_

_and you want it badly enough,_

_you'll find a way to get it- Jim Rohn_

With James gone, it was now just Edward and I, and the charge in the air was there and strong and scary as hell.

His large hand came out to meet mine that was firmly planted on the table. I watched in awe as his long, slim fingers wrapped around mine and pulled me towards him. I felt like a magnet, whenever he moved, I moved with him. Not even trying, just doing, naturally. It felt right. It felt easy; it was a whole new feeling for me. One I longed to grab onto in some tangible way and never let go.

I rose from the table and wordlessly followed behind him as he led me out the front door and towards his car. I tried to remember if I had ever seen his car before, but I couldn't form a single useful thought. They were all consumed in the burning ache that was spreading like a fatal disease throughout my body, starting where our fingers were connected and slowly making its way towards my heart.

My breath caught in my throat as we approached his car, and he smiled all lopsided and hungrily at me. My stomach flip flopped and my heart thudded erratically to the beat of a song I had dreamt of as a child. A song my mother had danced to one night in the living room with my dad when she didn't know I was still awake. I had memorized that song, sang it over and over again, hummed it in my head and Googled it, when I was old enough, to make sure I had the lyrics just right. I kept the folded, faded piece of paper in my jewellery box, untouched and long forgotten since I was fourteen and realized dating and sex were just too complicated for me to keep holding onto a butterfly's dream. But now, years later, just when I thought the song was nothing but a faded tune in the back of my mind, it was belting out loud and strong in my chest, in my mind, and running through my veins. And that could mean only one thing to me. He was it. The undeniable pull; the instant attraction; the feeling I got when he smiled or frowned or scrunched his eyebrows together; the warmth that swept through me just with one look from him. Edward Cullen was my other half, the imperfect, perfect whole to my half.

With that realization at the forefront of my mind, I turned to look at Edward. He was just sitting there, all still and smiling and watching me. "Are you ready to go in?"

Somehow I had missed the whole ride, lost in my thoughts. I nodded, still tongue-tied and light and jelly.

As if walking on air, I swayed into his side and curled under his arm. The feeling of his fingers sliding over my shoulder and pulling me to him was perfect and warm, and I wanted to burrow into his side and stay there forever.

Nerves hit the second we crossed the threshold into his home. It was large and open, and homely. Nothing I would have expected for a man living on his own. I hoped he did live on his own; I honestly wasn't even sure.

I turned to ask him, thinking that would be a wise question to ask. To know if we should be expecting someone else or not, but he beat me to it. "My mom is an interior decorator. When I bought the house and moved out, she insisted on giving it an 'at home' feeling, so I never got homesick," he chuckled and shook his head. I smiled and felt my chest flutter. "That was when I was twenty-two. Sad, I know. But, honestly, I liked the idea of living at home and going to school, still getting to see my mom and dad. Especially my mom. She gets into these crazy nesting stages, every so often, with no one to take care of. She still comes over and does my laundry and insists I spend almost every weekend staying there with them. My sister still lives at home, as well. But her, well, I'm not too sure she'll ever move out. She's a walking princess and Daddy's little girl, and what Daddy's girl wants, Daddy's girl gets."

I chuckled softly and pictured the blond goddess that had accompanied him at the restaurant. I could see that in her. She was all perfect and well groomed and reminded me of a model who stepped off of the cover of Vogue. I'd imagine keeping up her beauty regimen wasn't cheap, so living at home would lighten that load and keep her in tip-top shape.

Almost as if Edward could sense where my thoughts were going, he clarified and corrected, and I smiled picturing him as a proper little momma's boy who had an overprotective mountain lion lurking beneath those pretty-boy looks, just ready to pounce on anyone who thought poorly of his high maintenance sister.

"Don't worry, Edward. I'm sure she's great. Honestly, she's obviously a little too high maintenance for me, but that doesn't automatically mean she isn't an amazing person. And if she shares your blood and is anything like you, I'm sure she's..."

"Thank you," Edward interrupted me. He placed his finger on my lips and looked down at me. His eyes were all fire and ice and smouldering and wary, and I wanted to lick and chew on that pouty bottom lip.

My eyes flickered between his lips and his hair, stopping occasional to notice him still staring at me, that burning intensity still blazing in his eyes. A current of desire, of want, of need, vibrated between us, pulling and pushing, and leaving me panting from the overwhelming feeling of it, and then my lips were on his, and his warm hands were under the back of my shirt, and I was tugging on his hair and moaning into his mouth, and we were moving backwards. I felt my feet hit something hard and tried to turn back and see what it was, but Edward's soft yet aggressive lips peppering their way to my neck made me forget what I was looking for, and then my body was hoisted up and my legs wrapped tightly around his waist, and he was hard and digging deliciously into me. I sighed in a not quite a moan kind of way and ground shamelessly onto his hardness. Hiss after hiss escaped his lips, sending warm breaths across my neck and along the shell of my ear, and then we stopped moving. He pulled back and looked into my eyes and then we were falling back. I gasped in surprise; he laughed and tucked a stray hair behind my ear.

I play-slapped him in the arm and scowled up at him, still smiling, so he would know I wasn't really upset.

"For so long I have thought of nothing but brining you back here, having my way with you and making you scream out my name. Tonight, I'm only going to do some of the things I want to with you. Because over time I realized I wanted you in so many more ways than just sexually, Bella, and we have all the time in the world to act out my every desire, and yours, as well." He winked, and I think my heart melted a little. He was so sweet and so naughty and so dirty and kinky and adorable, and at times it was hard to follow, but all those amazing things combined, plus so much more, made him him, and I was okay with that. Whiplash or not, I was falling hard for the pretty TA who had swept me off my feet without even really trying.

"Kiss me." I closed my eyes and waited. Hot puffs of his breath, all peppermint and tobacco, fanned across my face. Seconds ticked by and still his lips did not meet mine, but I kept my eyes shut and waited, a small, playful smile tugging at the corners of my mouth, and then I didn't want to wait anymore. I couldn't. I needed his touch, his taste, like I needed air to live. My eyes remained closed and my hands shot up and latched onto his hair, and I pulled down and lips crashed, hard. It was exquisite and rough and painful and... "Fuck, Bella. I lose myself whenever I'm around you. It's like I have no control." A sexy as hell growl rumbled through his chest, and I felt my inner walls clench, and I cried out at the sensation. Edward smirked down at me, eyes full of curiosity and smugness. They travelled the length of my body as he hovered above me, almost touching, heat searing and so close, but not close enough and then stopped halfway down. His tongue darted out and swiped across his top lip, and I fucking mewled like a damn kitten wanting to be fed, all desperate and needy and starving, and I was. Slowly his hand slid down my side, burning tingles on my skin as he passed over each inch. His hands teased at my inner thigh as my legs fell apart without any persuasion and then his lips were on mine again, all wicked and swollen and damp. Torturously his fingers inched closer and closer, until I couldn't take it anymore, and I thrust upwards and down at the same time and then his hand, it was right there, and he stilled above me, his lips barely moving and his eyes wide and imploring, and I wanted this, more than I have ever wanted anything before, but could I do it? After everything that has been said and done, after all the fighting and misunderstanding?

"Don't...don't do that. Not now. Not ever."

His lips meet mine, with just a small, soft peck. "I want you. I can't even begin to explain how badly I want you, but it won't happen, love. Not tonight. Not even tomorrow, but soon. When you trust me, and when the time is right. I won't make the same mistake twice, and I could never forgive myself if I pushed you too far, or too fast. Not to mention, it will be your first time, and I want that time to be something you never look back on and regret, but for now, let's just enjoy this, enjoy the feeling of us. Okay?"

My hormones snarled at my flittering heart, wild and animalistic, my body wanted more, wanted it all, but my heart rang true, and I nodded and smiled and resumed kissing him, no longer thinking or caring, knowing he was in this with me, on my side, and I, for once, didn't have to over think things. I would just enjoy and feel and when the time felt right, natural, then and only then, we could go further, join as one completely and lose one of the last things I had to offer to the man of my dreams, of my present and future, my last small ounce of innocence. And, of course, he held my heart in his ever talented hands, but I wasn't quite ready to open myself up to that kind of vulnerability, not yet.

For hours our hands explored and caressed, and our mouths teased and tasted. Our shirts hit the floor seconds after Edward's declaration of sorts, but our pants still remained intact. I learned real fast that they didn't need to come off to fall from the high of Edward. His nimble fingers played me well without having to even touch flesh, and within minutes of him touching me...there, I was arching and flying and moaning my thanks for the mind blowing, body numbing sensations he sent swirling through my entire body. And when I wanted to reciprocate, he wouldn't hear of it. He said he was just happy to have made me so happy. I snorted at that, and he rolled his eyes at me, and then we were laying there in each other's arms, legs entangled and fingers leaving teasing trails on arms and chests, and we just were, and it felt so right. My chest ached as I thought about all the time we had lost, all because of a series of misunderstandings and miscommunication. And then, because I have no filter, I mentioned Alice.

"Do you miss her? What the two of you shared?"

There was no anger in Edward's voice, and I relaxed my tense shoulders as I realized this. I had expected anger, maybe hurt, possibly even jealousy, but all I heard was concern, and I sighed as I tried to figure out how to answer that question, and if I even knew the answer.

Alice was a hard topic for me. It hurt to think about her. I knew she didn't really, completely deserve my shunning of her, but I was young and inexperienced in the ways of the world, and that is what I used to excuse my childish behaviour, because, well, it was the only excuse I had to hold on to, pathetic as it was.

None of this was really her fault. I was an adult; she was an adult, and together we made a decision that had turned into a teaching of lessons that had moulded into a friendship with sexual attachment that had morphed into playful experimentation that ultimately just hadn't worked out.

What I couldn't wrap my head around was whether or not we could maintain a friendship now, after everything we had done together, could we just revert to being friends only? Would Edward be uncomfortable with that?

"I...I think I do. She was my friend, and I shouldn't be so mad at her. It wasn't rightly her fault, but I lashed out and I attacked everyone who was there. She hasn't even tried to contact me in days now. I mean, she did, at first, but now she doesn't. Maybe, she's sick and tired of me and receiving the cold shoulder and has just gave up, and if I called her now, maybe she would be the one to turn her back on me, or look at me with pity or even worse, say hateful things to me, and...I'm just not sure how to handle all of that."

"Bella, you do know I will support you no matter what decision you make. I don't know what we are, but I know I want there to be more of us. I...I want us to be an _us_, and I know what I'd think is your deepest, darkest secrets, and I still want you, even knowing them." Edward gulped audibly, and I shifted my head to look at him. His eyes were closed, his brows drawn in together and his lips pursed, leaving him with an expression of something akin to pain. I reached out to run my fingers along his tense jaw line, but his hand came up and held mine. He turned and looked at me; his eyes now open, and smiled a tight smile. "I knew what you were doing before I fell for you. I can't want you and want to change you at the same time. So, I'd...maybe...if you really wanted to, I might even be able to share you...but only with her, and I wouldn't want to hear about it, or see it, but I could try to do that, to be okay with that, for you. Because I have no right to try and change you, but I can hope you might one day be happy and sated with_ just_ me."


	29. Chapter 27

**NSG - Chapter 27**

I couldn't say a thing. My words were clogged in my tightened throat and tears were streaming down my face. Is that what he thought of me? Did he think I needed a varying assortment of sex partners? Did he honestly believe he could care for me, stay by my side, hold me and kiss me knowing someone else may have been doing that very same thing just a few hours before?

Did I want that?

I was so lost in my thoughts I hadn't realized Edward had fallen asleep beside me, but his deep, rhythmic breaths told me he was indeed asleep.

As I watched his chest rise and fall, I came to the realization that I didn't want that. Not without him, but a greedy, dirty side of myself, one that I was only just beginning to realize resided in a massive portion of my brain, wanted him to be a part of something like that, with me...and others...with lots of touching and tasting and sharing and watching. My pussy throbbed at the thought of watching him fuck the words right out of Alice's mouth.

I felt dirty and wrong and all kinds of fucked up for thinking like that, but I did. And the longer I lay there thinking of Edward and Alice and I together like that, the hotter I got. And the hotter I got, the more I squirmed as the wetness between my legs pooled and my breathing hitched and my fingers twitched. And before I could stop myself I was touching him, gently brushing my fingers down the side of his hardened abs. The muscles there constricted and his breathing halted momentarily. He may have been waking up, but I didn't care. I wanted more, I needed more. I was a needy, desperate girl, and the only thing close to affection, to love, that I knew was sex. I wiggled out of my pants and panties and forced myself to take what I wanted before I could over think it. My one hand slid down my bare thigh and my fingers found their way inside my wet heat. I moaned and writhed as I plunged three fingers in and out of myself and then, with my free hand, I slowly pulled the covers off of Edward's sleeping form.

My eyes drank him in. My body yearned for him. All thoughts of Alice exited my mind when I came to his boxers and carefully edged them down. He was already hard and so big and veiny and pretty and bare, and my stomach knotted and my pussy grew a mind of her own, effectively making my decisions for me. I had to have this beautiful creature inside of me. I needed to feel connected and be one with him. He couldn't deny me, I wouldn't let him. Not this time.

I stroked him cautiously, using the bead of pre-cum at his tip to make my fingers glide smoothly over his swollen ridge, and he moaned, the most delicious, fuckhawt moan I had ever heard, and I was done. I could tell he was just waking, probably not even fully understanding what was really happening, maybe even thinking he was dreaming, and I took advantage of that. I pulled myself up onto my knees and swung my leg over him to straddle him. His hard cock rubbed teasingly along my aching clit, and I hissed at the contact. For a moment I worried I didn't know exactly what to do now that I had him below me, hard, and ready, but then I pictured Alice, with her strap on, and it all came easily to me. I grabbed him by the base of his cock and positioned myself over it, and then, oh so slowly, I sank down his length. He was big. I was tight. I fit around him like an almost too small glove, and it felt fucking intense. I was so full and lost in the overwhelming reality of him actually being inside of me, I didn't anticipate the small pinch. The minimal amount of pain. I should have no barrier, but apparently I still had some. He was so much bigger than the toys I had played with. And then he was fully in me, and I could breathe again. My eyes opened to find him looking up at me. Confusion and lust shining through his beautiful green eyes. He looked as if he were trying to decide if this were real or not. I briefly considered leaving him to figure that out on his own, but I couldn't, so I rocked forward and pulled back and reached for his hands and placed them on my hips. A silent plea for him to accept this, to want me. And he did. His fingers dug into my soft flesh and he growled as he lifted me easily before slamming me back down. Over and over again he helped me take and give and fill and shift, and I couldn't take it anymore. Something was building. I knew what it was, but it felt like so much more than I had ever felt before. I swivelled my hips, desperate to reach the peak and fall, and Edward moaned my name in such a gravelly tone that it threw me over, and I exploded. I writhed and lashed around on top of him, push and pull and hiss and moan; and then I could feel it, just as my vision came back to me, him pulsing and he felt bigger, but the same, and his cock hit something that caused my muscles to twitch throughout my entire body, and even though I thought my body had been turned to jelly moments before, I found myself desperate for this new feeling. I clawed at his chest and slid my hips back and forth erratically, and together we fell deep into bliss, and together we called each other's names before I crumpled forward onto his chest and instantly fell asleep.


	30. Chapter 28

**NSG – Chapter 28**

**Remainder of October**

The rest of October went by in a splash of bright oranges and yellows. Torrential downpours drowned out the pretty flowers and killed off the bright green grass, causing everything to dull and dampen and fade and turn an earthy brown. The changing of the leaves' colors was the only thing that brought any kind of beauty to the world outside Edward's window these days.

The morning after I ambushed Edward into having sex with me, we had it out. He was kind of upset that I had gone about it the way I had. He told me if I had just been honest with him, told him how much I needed to be with him like that, he would have given me anything I wanted. I felt bad for being so sneaky and even worse for not telling him the complete reason I had practically rapped him in his sleep, but he didn't ask, so I didn't divulge. It was easier that way. Or so I thought. Since then we had been pretty inseparable. I had maybe made it home one night, and surprisingly, Charlie didn't grill me on it. In fact, he seemed rather relieved. I was a little suspicious about this, but had yet to have the chance to speak with him, and honestly, being so lost in the touching and feeling and the all consuming essence of Edward, I didn't really feel the need to rush back home and hash it out, either.

Things were perfect in my little world. That is until ten minutes ago, when I got a text from Edward saying we were going to some Omega- something-or-another Halloween bash.

My heart sank and my mouth went dry. There were so many reasons running through my head telling me not to go to this. But when I texted back and suggested we stay home instead and got a reply saying 'be ready in an hour', well, I knew there was no getting out of this one. Edward was a social butterfly, and loved showing me off, letting everyone in sight know I was his. It didn't bother me, really. I was rather possessive of him myself, and I made sure to let any skanky blond with buggy eyes for him know that the boi was all mine. I even went so far as to one time nearly fucking him in the school parking lot as I got lost in my 'fake' make out session as a blond bimbo stumbled by, her eyes never leaving our forms.

Edward had put in a request to switch up his TA position, which apparently was rather hard to do. I'm assuming since Alice was his assigned class, she worked her magic and gave him something she wouldn't normally allow. I was relieved, yet suspicious at the same time. I mean, of course, I was forever grateful to her for doing that and making our relationship easier. We never would have been able to go public if she hadn't agreed to do it, but what if she had ulterior motives? Maybe this was her thinking she had redeemed herself, or maybe this was a ploy to try to get Edward. I knew she had a thing for Jazz, but Edward was dreamy and perfect, and girls everywhere seemed to be jealous and snarky towards our relationship.

The more I drove myself nuts thinking about it, the more I crossed out that last idea. Alice was a genuinely good person, and even though I had shunned her since that horrendous night, she would never do something like that to me. Somehow, I just knew that.

I still attended her class. My seat remained in the very back with my new BFF, James. Alice never tried to talk to me, but from time to time I would catch her looking at me, her eyes filled with an emotion I couldn't quite decipher, and it pulled at my chest and made me feel like a total ass. It was obvious she wanted to talk to me, but I just wasn't ready. And tonight, at that party, I was sure she wouldn't be there, but Jazz surely would. And I was even less prepared to deal with him. I was actually pissed at him, where as the whole thing with Alice had me pissed at myself. I blew up at her and said unforgivable things, things I realized she didn't deserve once I had a chance to calm down and evaluate the situation. I should have apologized, grovelled, anything, once I knew that; but something I learned this past month was that the only thing harder than being mad at someone you care about, is being mad at one's self and admitting it to another.

"Well, hello, beautiful." I spun on the heel of my bare foot and wobbled a bit from the quick motion. Edward's warm, comforting arms were around me in seconds. Bags fell to the floor with a soft thud and everything was right again in my world.

"I brought you a costume to wear tonight." '_Right in my world' just jumped down to 'my world fucking sucks, please don't make me do this'._ I was about to open my mouth and try once again to talk him out of this, but the look on his face told me there was no room for argument. He knew I missed Alice and knew and even understood my anger towards Jasper, but he also thought I had to stop being a shut in and avoiding dealing with them.

"They miss you, too, Bella. If either of them are there and try to talk to you, all the better. Just hear them out. You can give them at least that."

I guess I had been wrong in my earlier assumption of Alice not being at the party. Edward made it sound as if for sure she would be.

I hadn't seen Jazz in a couple of weeks, now. He must have dropped the class, as well. Because he was never there, and I had seen him and Alice entwined and lost in each other a few times in the past week or so. So, I could only assume they had rectified the situation to enable them to be together without scrutiny or sneaking around.

I got dressed in a sombre silence, being a tool and ignoring Edward, huffing whenever he said something to me, and basically acting like a spoiled little brat. I felt bad being that way towards him, and I could see the hurt and frustration in his eyes, but it didn't stop me. I didn't want to go, and in my mind, he was forcing me to confront a demon I wasn't strong enough to conquer. _Overly dramatic much or what?_

The night progressed in a distant, painful coolness. Edward was there by my side, but it felt like he'd rather be anywhere but.

Neither Alice nor Jazz tried to speak with me. Alice actually made a beeline away from me the one time we had happened to be in the same room together. That, alone, stung more than I thought possible. What had I done to deserve such treatment?

Edward and I drove home that night in an air of strained and stifling silence. He had slept on the couch, and I was too busy trying to get the boot I had rammed up my own ass out to do anything to remedy the situation. I crawled in bed alone with the realization that this whole mess, this giant clusterfuck, was none other than my own doing. Meaning to or not, I had alienated my best friend, disappointed the only person who loved me, and had acted like a child in the face of my first real conflict in life. A conflict I had brought into my own life, by my own curiosities and insatiable need to be needed.

**November**

Edward and my relationship was precarious at best. We tip-toed around each other. Neither of us either having the nerve to deal with the issues or the desire to fix the situation. I lost myself in guilt and used sex as buffer. He never said no, but he never said yes, either. We just moved with one another, but not there, not really. Not as one.

Eventually, I reverted back to my nightly drive home, not feeling welcome in Edward's home, and not wanting to spend yet another night in the empty, painful silence and forced affections. My heart broke a little each time he would wrap his arms around me and I could feel his muscles tense and his breathing pick up. We fought constantly over stupid, things, silly things. My school work; his TA position; my refusal to confront my feelings and anger for Alice and Jasper. We fought a lot over James, as well. James had been amazing throughout everything, always on my side, always with kind words of understanding and acceptance. Edward thought there was more to it. He thought James had ulterior motives. He thought I wanted to have my cake and eat it, too. He was wrong. I was right. I wouldn't budge, and all we did was fight. Kissing was non-existent and touching hurt more than comforted. He was tired of me, and anyone could tell that being around me, now, did nothing but cause him pain.

I couldn't bear to bring such a beautiful creature so much pain, and I couldn't overcome my insecurities and immaturities, so I bailed one night, while he was once again sleeping on his couch. I drove home with tears obstructing my vision and my heart in my throat. I left a simple note saying I was sorry, but we couldn't be together anymore. I was wrong for him, and he shouldn't bother calling.

And Edward didn't call me the next morning, or the next day, or even the next week. I went to classes a shadow of my old self, and not even James making his witty, sarcastic comments was able to break a smile on my tight lips.

"I can't take it anymore, Bella. You're a wonderful person. You've just fallen off path, sugar. Please let me try to help you fix this. It pains me to see you so withdrawn and hollow."

"That's sweet of you, Jamie. But you and I both know I did this to myself. Edward, Alice, and even Jazz deserve better than my bullshit. So, please, just leave it be. I still have you, and my classes, and my dad, and I just have to come to terms with what my life is now. I'll get better, I promise."

James shook his head at me and huffed in annoyance. Ever since I had shown up at his house in the stark of the night, blotchy and sniffling and wiping my snot all over his sleeve as I spilled out all the sordid details of the past three and half months, he had been overly protective of me and attached to my side at all times. I had learned that James was a force to be reckoned with when going all momma-hen on someone. He was constantly force-feeding me and snapping at me about my appearance, lecturing me on my immaturity and coaxing me back to the land of the living. My grades had dropped drastically, and tomorrow I was set to go into a meeting in the dean's office. I feared getting kicked out of school and losing my chance at an amazing education, but I honestly couldn't blame them. I was a shell of a human. I had lost myself somewhere between August and now, and in those short months of my life, I had completely given up.

-OO—

James did something. I wasn't sure what. I prayed he didn't go to Alice. Bribe her, blackmail her. He wouldn't do that, or would he?

I wasn't getting booted from school, if anything they were going easier on me. They pulled one of my classes- one I didn't really need, but had once enjoyed, firmly told me to get my grades back up by exams next month, and sent me on my way with the guidance counsellor's number and email address and a suggestion to give her a call. A suggestion that I knew was more of a demand in the form of a soft spoken idea. They thought I needed counselling. Possibly, that I was a college newbie that partied too much, got in with the wrong crowd, was led astray and just needed to find my way back to the light or some shit.

They weren't that far off. I may not party, unless pity parties are included in that category, and where I was far from in the 'wrong crowd' I was in no crowd, at all. I was a loner who spent her time bringing her BFF down with her sad sob stories. I saw the look in his eyes from time to time, when he didn't realize he had let his carefully crafted happy face drop. And I knew it is because of me. I walked out of the office with my head held high and a plan forming in my scattered-brain. I would forget Edward Cullen ever existed. It shouldn't be too hard, he never even bothered so much as texting me since I disappeared mid-night almost a month ago. I would reinvent the Bella I was. Almost the same as before, but braver and bolder and with more spunk. I would stop draining the life out of everyone's eyes that I cared about. I would lighten the strain on James, and I would smile back when he smiled at me. I would start looking for a place closer to campus to occupy after the holidays, and I would study my ass off and get my grades back to those they normally were. I would have to do a lot of things to reform who I had become, but I was determined and tired of barely living.

And I would start by going to see Alice.


	31. Chapter 29

**NSG Chapter 29**

**December**

My plan was going well. No one would have guessed that just a month ago I had walked these halls like a brain-washed-zombie. No, not me. I was all smiles and giggles and soft laughs and witty comments. I was Bella fucking Swan, and I owned my life. No one else.

It was now only three days until Christmas. The school was closed for the holidays, and I had found a place just on the outskirts of town to rent, but I had to take it immediately. I was okay with that, though. And, surprisingly, so was my dad.

Turned out I was even more lost in my Bella-only bubble than I thought. Dad had been secretly dating a woman from the Reserve named Sue. Well, maybe not secretly, but quietly enough that my self- engrossed self failed to notice his late nights out, and his lack of coming home some nights, at all. I didn't see the bright sparkle in his eyes, or the never wavering smile on his face. I missed it all. All because I was so lost in destroying my own world and blaming everyone else for my stumbles.

I moved my stuff into my own place yesterday. It was hectic and hard as hell to book a truck so close to the holidays, but I managed it, and it didn't take half as long as I thought it would have. Apparently, I didn't have much to move with me. Just the basics. A bedroom full of memories of being a half of a whole and a hastily taped together heart, along with my beat up car, only took two hours and fifteen minutes to load and unload. And only four hours for me to unpack and sparsely lay out through the now very empty looking apartment.

It seemed I would have to slowly buy things to fill the space, to make it look more homey, to make it feel like a home. If only filling ones chest cavity could be so easily remedied, as well; I would be all set. But nothing was ever quite that easy, but that was okay. I was okay, or so I thought.

"Oh my goodness, Bella. We need to do some serious shopping, baby. This place has so much potential yet it still looks like a single guy living on Ramen Noodles lives here. Right after the holidays, we're going shopping. And before you spout some excuse like finances, it will be my treat. No arguing. I didn't buy you a Christmas present for precisely this reason. Now I have an excuse to help furnish and flourish your first-ever own place."

I rolled my eyes and turned to smile at her. She was the brightness in my days. She made me smile and made me feel like I was worth something more than a passing glance, and I owed her so much for being such an amazing and forgiving person. I would never be able to repay her. This suggested shopping trip would only tip the scales her way all the more. But I knew better than to argue with her, so, I just stuck my tongue out and opened my arms to greet her.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as she curled into my open arms. I wrapped them securely around her small frame and squeezed tight. I still revelled in the feeling of her being in my arms again. I had missed it. I had missed her.

"Well, I very well couldn't leave you to fend all for yourself, now could I? Or we both know you'd starve to death, and a little birdie may have mentioned something along the lines of you needing to go grocery shopping, and I may have already been at the grocery store anyways, so, I grabbed a few things for you, too." Alice pulled back and glanced back at the doorway, where piles of grocery bags sat waiting to be put away.

I growled softly at her, and she squealed as she dashed towards them and began bringing them into my tiny kitchen.

"You and James need to find a better hobby than your current Bella-play-by-plays."

"Oh, hush it. He was worried about you and figured you'd receive these better from me than him. He was right, you know. You're so snobbish about people helping you. Lucky for me, I'm not just any 'people'. So, I can get away with it.

"Now, I'm going to put these things away. Go take a shower and come back to me smelling all yummy and shit. I want to shower my girl with gifts before I leave for the holidays." She swatted at my ass and ducked into the kitchen snickering. I smiled. A real smile. 'Cause she brought those out of me. She genuinely made me want to smile.

Alice and I spent the evening cuddling in front of the plug-in wooden fireplace she managed to sneak into my living room while I was showering. I had to admit - it gave the room a warm glow and made me feel like this place would someday be like a home. I had no couch, but I did have a large, overstuffed beanbag chair that we both fit in together perfectly. Her legs twined with mine and her arms wrapped tightly around me, while my fingers played with her short locks and teased at the nape of her neck.

She sighed into my touch and turned her head slightly, her lips meeting mine in an unspoken promise. A promise of today, of tomorrow, and of something more. Alice and I had talked our issues through when I barged through her front door in a panic induced ranting fit. I begged her to understand. She told me there was nothing to understand, that I was justified in my hurt feelings. She was wrong. I told her that. Nothing would ever justify the way I had treated her. I told her everything about Edward. She suggested I go to him. I told her she was all I wanted. She told me she was now dating Jasper, but their relationship was an open one. I clammed up and stuttered like a fool. Jasper, I was not ready to deal with. She said she figured as much, and promised not to talk about him. She was letting me deal in my own way, in my own time. I was never so grateful for her ability to just let things be.

Our talk had turned quickly to a passionate embrace, tongues thrashing and fighting and tears streaming and trickling. She tasted so sweet, so right, so familiar. I had missed this. I had missed us, and even though Edward made me burn from the inside out with such intensity it actually hurt, Alice caused a similar burn, a slow burn that grew in my belly and flowed throughout my body with just one touch from her. She would never just abandon me. Not like Edward. I may have been the one to walk out, but he was the one who let me. He never even called. To this day, that caused my stomach to coil and anger to rise up my chest in a way that made me feel like a ticking time bomb. I knew one day I would see him again, and then, maybe, I would tell him what I thought of him. But until then, I was just fine pretending like he never really mattered, like he was a blip on my journey of discovering who I was. When in reality, in the truest, darkest, most hidden recess of my being, I knew all of that was nothing but a load of shit. Edward Cullen was the burn I needed to breathe. He was the one thing that reminded me I still had a heart, because it constantly beat painfully and rapidly just at the thought of him, which was all too often. But no one needed to know that. I was fine in their eyes. Moving on, moving forward, and it was best to leave them believing just that. I didn't want their pity or for them to treat me like I was breakable, because I wasn't. Something that was already so broken was no longer breakable. At least that was what I had convinced myself to believe.

-OO—

I kissed Alice goodbye the next morning. It was slow and meaningful and full of longing. If we kept it up, we would end up getting carried away and locked back in the safe confines of my bedroom, but that wasn't okay. Alice had someone waiting for her. Jasper was. He was all alone two days before Christmas waiting with their packed bags to head off to a resort with just the two of them. A normal relationship. One I would never have with Alice, because ultimately, she was his, and I was just a friend with benefits that she had to treat like a dirty secret because I was her student, because I refused to talk to her boyfriend, because I was a coward. One last kiss on the tip of my nose and she was dashing down the stairs and into her car. I waved to the back of her car as it zoomed out of the small parking lot.

I sagged against the cool door and decided a walk might do me some good. I pulled my hoodie up and trudged out into the cool, harsh weather. The stinging cold of the crisp air whipped at my face and made my eyes water and my vision blur, and still I trudged forward. Through slush and sleet, and small banks of gathered snow, I wandered through the barren streets. It was only seven AM. The streets were quiet except for the odd chirp of a bird here and there. I closed my eyes and got lost in the sounds of nature. Birds, wind, trees, swoosh, whip, chirp. I walked and walked until my feet hurt and my chest felt lighter. I was okay with my decisions. I was okay with being Alice's friend and having a beneficial side to our friendship. It was light, it was easy, and she had Jasper. I didn't want a monogamous relationship with her, anyway. I didn't see myself as a lesbian. I could not form a real bond with her, not like that. I guess I was just kind of lonely. When she went home to him, yes she was now sharing her home with him, I stayed where I was, alone. And it made me think of all I could have had, if I had just gotten my shit straight. It made me think of him. It made my precariously pieced-together heart unravel a bit and the overwhelming desire to collapse into a heap of weeping girl come to the forefront of my mind. But I didn't, and I wouldn't, and then I was so lost I could actually hear him, his deep, honey, voice, as clear as if he were actually beside me. I smiled to myself, happy I was able to conjure up such a beautiful sound so accurately. He sounded slightly rough, kind of husky and congested. My imagination wasn't perfect, but it made my chest swell and my eyes well up with unshed tears. I stopped, no longer wanting to be out there if that was what the fresh air would bring me. Only then realizing I wasn't alone. Off to the far right of me were two people. They were talking quietly, but not. Their words rang clear as day whether they were hushed or not.

"I'm not going to call her, Dad. It...It's not worth it. Bella is my past. Please, let me leave her there."


	32. Chapter 30

**NSG – Chapter 30**

Christmas was a sad day in Bella-world. I spent it all alone. My dad had said he was going to Sue's and had, of course, invited me along. Likely out of obligation more than anything else. I didn't want to invade their time together more than I already unknowingly had, so I declined, claiming I had been invited to a friend's for dinner. I hadn't been invited anywhere. I chose to spend the day wallowing in self-grief and wishing I had pictures to drown myself in. But I had nothing but my foggy memories and the searing last words I had heard out of Edward's mouth accidentally. I was his past. Which meant he needed to be mine, as well. I drowned out my thoughts with cheesy old Christmas shows on TV. Lost myself in silly cartoons like Frosty and Rudolph and even choked out a few laughs during Home Alone. Around eight, I heated up a microwave meal of some sick version of turkey and stuffing and corn and mashed potatoes. I didn't really taste much of anything, but the texture made me gag a little a few times.

I fell asleep curled up in a blanket on my beanie in front of the crackling fireplace. I dreamed that night. I dreamt of an older me, a wiser me. I was still alone, but I was okay with it. I was a user and a taker, and no one ever got past my expertly crafted guard. I took what I needed and gave what I wanted. It was win-win in my dream. Sex was amazing. No strings attached. No one got hurt. In my dream, I was powerful. I was happy. I was fulfilled. I woke up in the morning to tentative tapping on my door. Still in my boy shorts and tank top, sans bra, I swung the door open expecting to find some delivery boy or a newspaper girl, only to find a sheepish-looking Jasper. I gasped. My eyes widened and somehow he moved by me, into my personal space, and it felt okay. Not scary, not unwelcome. Like old times, but with more strain, and I let myself sort of smile and relax. Today, I was going to start my next step in the 'make the old Bella a new-refreshed Bella' plan.

-OO—

"Jasper, what are you doing here?"

I watched warily as he paced the small space of empty floor. His eyes darted about and his lips were pulled into a tight line. Occasionally his arms would lift, as if he wanted to reach out to me, but then they would drop to his sides, a look of defeat, of fear, gracing his face, and then he would start all over again. Minutes trickled by, and my nerves skyrocketed. I wasn't used to seeing him like this, all unsure of himself and vulnerable, and I didn't like it one bit, if I were being honest. I decided to ease his agony.

"I forgive you, Jazz. But...can you tell me why?" My voice was soft, timid, like a docile animal. Jasper's eyes jumped to mine, all fire and ice and anger and rage. I flinched, not knowing what I could have said to cause such a reaction out of him.

My legs almost gave out when he barrelled towards me, his eyes still ablaze and never once leaving mine. As his arms reached out, I flinched and clenched my eyes. I truly thought for a moment he might strike me, but then his arms were around me and my feet were off the floor and I was spinning, and he was laughing and crying and mumbling apologies, and it felt good.

Without letting me out of his grasp, we plopped onto the beanie cushion, and he tucked me under his arm and began stroking my hair. I hummed in contentment. Jasper always had this calming effect on me, today more so than most.

All the anger I thought I had harbored towards him was now nowhere in sight. I sobbed recklessly into his shirt and clutched him like my lifeline. God, how I had missed this man. My first real friend.

"Never, Bella. I never wanted to hurt you. I thought I was helping, and he was so hot, I thought I could have a little fun too, but never at your expense, and I forgot. Truly, I did. I failed to mention to him that you were untouched in that way. It never crossed my mind, I'm not sure I even truly knew that it was true. I suspected as much, but really you never told me. I wracked my brain trying to figure out how I had missed something so obvious, but came up with nothing. The most you ever told me was that you didn't want to...you know...with me. And I assumed it was because you didn't feel comfortable with that, or that maybe you knew of Alice's feelings for me and she wasn't game for it, and I respected that. But I never once thought 'Hey, let's try to push Bella into something she's not ready for,' never. I'm so sorry. I've missed you so much. Alice tells me so little. But she has only been talking to you for the last month as well. She was so sad, Bella. So lost without you. You have become quite a fixture in her life, in whatever capacity you would allow or want. I need you in my life, Bella. You're like the best friend I never knew I needed, but you are, and it hurts so fucking bad, B. So bad. Please forgive me. Please tell me you'll still be my friend."

My chest constricted painfully at his words, at the broken lost tone of his voice, and I sobbed even harder into his shoulder. He never wanted to hurt me. It was all a matter of not being open enough with each other. I assumed Alice had told him. He assumed I wouldn't be involved in something so promiscuous if my last piece of innocence was still intact, and I assumed he was out to hurt me. Never once did I give him the chance to explain, and months of pain had followed because I was too stubborn to give him that chance.

"I'm...I'm sorry too, Jazz. I've fucking missed you." Squealing and flashes of black and green bombarded me before a small, warm object was on top of me, peppering me with kisses and vibrating like the energizer bunny on speed, and it was all Alice and she was crying and laughing and smiling and we were all there, all three of us and the sense of dread long gone, left with relief and contentedness, and then out of nowhere, Ikissed Alice, roughly, suddenly having the desire to feel her lips on mine, to feel something of familiarity. Them...these two amazingly wonderful people, they were familiar, they were warmth and desire and sexy, and I wanted them. I wanted us. Then, her lips were moving against mine, her hand twined in my hair and a soft moan rumbled in Jasper's chest, and I lost it. Frantically, I fumbled with his shirt, tugging and pulling while still trying to tackle Alice's mouth with my own. My core ached...ached with a need so intense, I moaned in an almost painful way. I needed something, I needed them. I needed everything they would give me and more. This was never wrong. I should never have believed that. How could something that felt so good be wrong? It just wasn't. It was simple. It was no strings attached, and I wanted to feel it all. Tonight, I would give myself fully, and I would be okay with it in the morning, because in the morning, we would all still be good. Jasper would still be Alice's, and I would still be both of their friend, and when the overwhelming need to lose myself in sexual bliss arose again, they would be there for me. It was just like my dream, but real.

"The bedroom," I mumbled into Alice's mouth, and she hummed in response. Jasper yelped as I leaned forward to get up, my hand accidentally pressing into his very hard cock, and I hissed at the feel of it, even jean clad, in my hand. I looked up at him apologetically, and before I could say a thing, his lips were on mine. Alice's' hands roamed up my sides, tugging and directing us as we lifted off the floor, tongues entwined and frantic and painful and delicious.

I felt my knees hit the bed, and without any hesitation what-so-ever, I fell back and pulled him with me. Alice was beside me. I could feel her. Her hands skimming over the bare skin on my arms, working towards my chest and then she's squeezing in behind me, pulling me back between her legs and her hot breath fanned across my neck sending shivers of want throughout my body, and I whimpered. This insane burning feeling that was spreading through me was addictive, and I wanted more...and more. I never wanted it to end. I tugged at Jasper's belt and unclasped the buckle before moving on to the buttons of his button fly. His lips left mine and made a path of liquid lava down my neck, over my collarbone, and towards my painfully pebbled nipples. My head was pulled sideways and Alice's tongue was in my mouth, probing, twirling and oh so warm and sweet. She tasted like cinnamon, a flavor I have always been partial to, and it tasted even better mixed with her. She lifted my shirt up and tugged it over my head, our lips parted momentarily, and it was only when she tossed it to the end of the bed that I realized Jasper had my pants around my ankles, as the cool breeze the flying shirt made connected with the soft, wet kisses he was leaving as he made his way up my inner leg.

I hissed as he blew softly on my core. I was dripping wet and needy. I needed more. I bucked my hips up and felt his tongue connect with my throbbing clit, and I howled like a rabid animal in heat. Alice palmed my tits aggressively and then removed one of her hands to palm her own, as well. My eyes zoned in on her exposed, pert nipple and my head jerked up desperate to reach it, to taste. My legs quivered as my tongue lapped around her nipple like a treasured prize. Her skin was so soft, so different compared to Jasper's rough hands that were currently kneading at my stomach.

I continued to lavish Alice's breasts with as much attention as my neck range would allow as Jasper's tongue finally flicked across the promise land. I whimpered and begged through my teeth, which were now clenched on Alice's nipple, and she arched into me and hissed at the same time. Pain and pleasure mixed together had always been a breaking point for her.

"Harder, Bella. Fuck yes. I love watching him go down on you while you tease my fucking tits. Harder. I'm going to..." Alice never finished her sentence, but from the wild rocking of her hips below me, I knew she was coming, and violently. This seemed to spur Jasper on as he increased his pressure on my clit, and within seconds I was writhing on top of Alice's limp body as she lazily ran her fingers up and down the side of my breast.

When I came down from my orgasmic high, I motioned for Alice to lean forward. Before I could lose my nerve, I whispered in her ear and prayed she wasn't going to trip out, but I didn't think she would. She wasn't that type.

"Are you okay if...if I do more with...with him?" Alice's eyes widened and she nodded immediately. "Are you sure, Bella?" I nodded back at her and felt Jasper making his way up to the top of the bed. I needed her to be okay with this, before I pushed things further. Before Jasper made his way up to us. She smiled and nodded and gave me a small smirk, and I knew she truly was fine with it. I turned my head just as Jasper reached my face and I aggressively grabbed him by the back of the head and slammed his mouth into mine. Our teeth clashed a bit. It was sorta painful, but I was lost in my thoughts of what I was about to do, of what just might be about to happen. And I was excited and nervous, and I didn't know what I would do if he denied me, but I had to try. I wanted this so fucking bad, my insides were quivering just from thinking about it.

I felt his straining cock brush against my lips down there and for a moment I contemplated doing this all sneaky like, but then I remembered what it felt like to be left in the dark, and I just couldn't do that to him. I pulled back, gasping for much needed air and looked into his eyes. He knew something was off, he must. His eyes were bouncing between Alice and me, and he was surely trying to figure it all out. I ground my hips upwards and his eyes widened in shock, and he went to pull back but I stopped him, and I could tell the moment it all clicked for him. His eyes darkened to a steely gray and his jaw clenched tightly. His head dropped and his mouth opened, and in the softest whisper ever, he asked if I was sure.

"I am, Jasper. I trust you. I want you. I want this." He looked up at Alice and stared at her for a moment. He must have seen something that was okay, because the next thing I knew, he was attacking my mouth with his own with vigor I had never once experienced. I moaned into his mouth and felt myself wetten impossibly more. I was drenched. My pussy was warm and pulsating so erratically I could feel everything. Every pulse, every twitch, and I couldn't wait anymore. I noticed Alice was sliding a condom along his shaft and smirked at her ability to think with common sense at a time like this. I was grateful, but I sure didn't have my head on straight enough to think of that myself. I looked up at Jasper one more time and smiled softly, reassuringly and whispered, "I'm ready."

With nothing but a moment's hesitation he was at my entrance, all thick and twitching and hot. His cock slipped around in my wetness and teased at my entrance before pressing against my clit, and I bucked wildly, uncontrollably at the sensation, and then I felt it. He slid into me, full hilt. I was so full and stretched, and it wasn't painful at all. It felt different than Edward, but still good. Not bad, just not Edward. Speckles of black and red and blue colored my vision, and the pleasure was just so much that I didn't know how to handle it. I felt, rather than saw, Alice return her attentions to my breasts, and that, coupled with Jasper now moving in a fluid motion inside of me, set me afire. I burst into flames as my whole body convulsed and quaked, completely consumed with ecstasy.


	33. Chapter 31

**_Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. ~ Cyril Connolly_**

**NSG- Chapter 31**

"So, New Year's at Alice's. We are so all over this, right, Belly-bee?"

I groaned and rolled my eyes. James was so persistent, and his excitement was almost contagious, almost.

I didn't understand why he was so stuck on the idea of going to a wild- ass New Year's party at Alice's, except for maybe the fact that it wasn't just any New Year's party. It was a swinger's New Year's party, and apparently, James was all into that shit, too.

I never would have guessed.

Snort.

"I'll make you a deal, Jamie. You tell me finally, and honestly... are you gay?"

His jaw dropped, his eyes widened, and I swear I saw fear flash in them for a moment before they dropped to the floor and he let out a scoffing noise.

"Why on earth would you ask that? I went out on a date with you, didn't I?"

I had thought this over time and time again, and I, too, had wondered about the same thing once. However, I came to the conclusion that maybe Jamie didn't realize he was, in fact, gay. Maybe he just thought he was curious? Maybe he was bi-sexual? Or maybe, I was totally off-base and he was just pickier than hell about his woman? Whichever it was, I wanted to know. He was one of my closest friends, and I hated to think that he was that self-conscious that he couldn't be honest with me, open.

"Listen, Jamie, I don't know if you know, or if you even are. Maybe I am totally off base, but I don't think I am. I love you to bits. You have to know that. I just want you to know that I would accept you and love you just the same regardless of your sexual orientation. Hell, you know all about my fucked-up lifestyle. Who the hell would I be to judge you? I couldn't, and I wouldn't. I just want you to know that you can talk to me about anything, anything at all." I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him into me, squeezing tightly before letting him go and looking up into his bright blue eyes.

He sighed deeply, and I felt him go limp, like the fight had left his body. His head jerked in the direction of my beanie. So, I slowly pulled him with me towards it. A mess of arms and legs and giggles, we fell together into the large beanie chair. I curled up, ducked my head into the crook of his arm, and sighed. He was the kind of guy who made you feel at home, safe, secure. It really was too bad I could see nothing more than friendship with him. A relationship with him would be easy, comfortable, but lacking passion. I refused to settle anymore, and he was one of my best friends; I could never use him that way, do that to him.

"I'm not gay," James began...I spent the next hour twined up in his arms as he told me what had made him who he was today.

My heart broke a little when he explained that as a young boy he had been molested by a foster parent he had been forced to live with after his mother committed suicide. He explained that for a good part of his teenage years, he struggled with his sexuality, so lost in his own head, battling his demons, that he wound up believing that because that had happened to him, he must be gay.

He told me how he had tried dating numerous men when he first got to college, and how none ever seemed to excite him, intrigue him, not even eliciting a small flicker of affection. He then went on to tell me that for the last two years he had pretty much kept to himself, given up, and accepted a nomad's fate; resigned to believing he was meant to be alone, damaged, unable to feel what he knew he was supposed to feel. Until he saw me. Apparently, something tingled within him, awoke, thrashed about in his being, the moment he laid eyes on me. He didn't sound obsessed or enamoured, just curious and relived to know that he wasn't void of feeling.

He had watched me for months, working with Jasper, eyeing up Edward. He even knew about Alice and me, but none of it made him jealous or spiteful, just excited and hopeful.

And when we finally spoke, he decided to try to get to know me, thinking maybe he had been wrong all the while, and that he wasn't gay; that maybe, just maybe, what had happened to him had nothing to do with his sexuality and more to do with a twisted man taking advantage of an innocent child.

I held him to me tighter as his sordid past continued to fall from his lips, leading right up until mere weeks ago, when he realized all he saw in me was friendship, true and raw, real and pure. He was in awe of my aura of innocence yet my lack thereof. He felt protective of me, responsible even, but never once, had he been able to conjure up the feeling of romantic love, not even anything sexual.

A part of me wondered if that evil man had not seriously broken integral parts of James, that maybe James was now asexual, unable to feel desire in that way.

I didn't ask him that. I couldn't, not yet. He seemed so full of hope, thinking maybe this party held the key for him, a means to an end, a way to move past the dark and empty and into the greys and merging colors. I couldn't deny him.

I swiped at my damp eyes and gave him a big sloppy kiss on his cheek. "Okay, Jamie, let's do this shit."

I didn't bother calling Alice to let her know we were coming. I thought it could be a surprise. We had been invited, after all. We just never RSVP'd. Well, at least I didn't.

**~8?8~**

The party had been set to start at eight; we arrived shortly before ten with the party in full swing, literally.

We walked through the front door and into the massive living room, to find the whole place transformed into what looked like a throng of sexual activities. There were various loveseats scattered about in the room, with people scantily dressed squeezed onto them. Some were making out; some were simply chatting and laughing. Others stayed back, in the shadows of the room, looking on, almost as if looking for something in particular; they probably were. I shivered involuntarily and grabbed onto James' arm and let him lead me through the room and towards the kitchen.

Alice had an impressive bar set up in there, with every type of liquor imaginable. I immediately made myself a couple drinks and downed both in the matter of seconds.

"Whoa there, luscious. What's the rush?" James teased, as he pulled a now empty cup from my hands. I narrowed my eyes at him, "Don't mess with a girl's liquid courage, James. You're bound to end up hurt." He tipped his head back and let out an amused laugh before surprising me and handing me another drink. "How about you try just one at a time. No more double fisting, okay?"

I snorted at his use of words and nodded my head in agreement.

We stayed there for awhile, just scanning the area, taking in all the unfamiliar faces, until James' whole body tensed up. I placed my hand on his arm comfortingly, but he just smiled down at me and shook his head, letting me know that he was okay.

"Will you be okay here on your own for a bit?" I scrutinized him for a moment, trying to figure out what seemed to have changed in him so suddenly. He looked excited now, beyond excited, and I wanted nothing more than to be a nosey friend and ask why, what, and how; instead, I just nodded my head and allowed myself to feel excited for him, happy. Interrogation could wait until later.

I gulped back a few more drinks, welcoming the tipsy, blurred feeling that was coursing through my body, and smiled.

I decided to go up to the top floor and try to find Jasper and Alice. Knowing them and their overdriven sex drive, they were likely already upstairs, together, working on ringing in the New Year with an explosion rather than a bang; actually both, if you wanted to get technical.


	34. Chapter 32

**_Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. ~ Cyril Connolly_**

**NSG- Chapter 32**

Alice's husky moans could be heard all the way from the stairwell. My legs instantly came together as heat rushed between them at the sound of her obviously being pleasured. My legs propelled me forward, almost sprinting up the stairs, towards her room. My hand hovered over the knob on the door, my breathing coming out in erratic spurts, liquid gathering in my barely-there panties.

"Fuck, that was amazing, Jasper. I fucking love your tongue."

"Why, thank you, darlin'. I must say I love your fucking pussy, too. My tongue wouldn't be half as vigorous if it weren't for that intoxicating smell and that delicious liquid you have hidden down there."

Alice cackled gleefully. "Jasper, you are such a cornball. Now, get back over here and kiss me."

I decided then was as good a time as any and gently knocked on the door, deciding just walking in might not be the best idea.

"This room is off limits. Try another one." I snorted, loud, unladylike. I couldn't help it. Of course it was off limits. It was fucking occupied. Silly girl.

"Yeah, Alice. I sort of know that. But I really would rather join you in this one opposed to joining another," I teased through the closed door.

Jasper's soft chuckle could be heard, along with the rustling of covers, and then the door was whipped open and Alice barely wrapped in a sheet was there, tugging me inside. I kicked the door with my heel and allowed her to pull me along, before she pushed me back, in an all too anxious manner, onto her bed, beside Jasper.

"Fancy seeing you here, Bells. Glad you could...cum..." Jasper's lips twitched up and into a cocky little grin.

Alice was right; sex and alcohol sure did make Jasper one heck of a cornball. But I laughed, anyway.

"Shut up, you goofball, and kiss me already."

Jasper's lips were immediately on mine, soft and warm, rough and dominant. His tongue swept into my mouth, no warm up, no warning, all warm and teasing and tasting of black liquorice. I moaned into his mouth, loud, uncontrollably. His fingers were pressing into my stomach, caressing, inching down, closer.

Jasper pushed the skirt of my dress up as Alice slipped the slim shoulder straps down. With my pretty blue dress all scrunched around my midsection and my hands in Alice's hair, I tugged her down to me. We kissed deeply, frantically, tongues twining, teeth clashing, and breaths swirling together in soft pants and whimpered moans.

All of a sudden, Jasper's hand left my thigh and immediately I felt his finger slide between my lips and bury deep within me. I arched my body, pulled Alice against me and mewled at the sensation of being stretched.

I ducked my head and latched my mouth onto one of Alice's pert nipples and bit down gently. She curled her naked body into my side, her wetness against my hand, and my fingers twitched knowing what was so close and within reach.

As Jasper added another finger and then another, the feeling of being full and stretched doubled, and when he bent his fingers in an odd angle, my whole body convulsed with a wave of intense heat. As I threw my head back and slipped my fingers into Alice's hot, wet opening, Jasper's fingers disappeared and were instantly replaced by his tongue lapping, teeth nibbling.

Jasper crawled off the bed and went to the side table. He grabbed a foil packet and raised a brow at me. My eyes, even though barely focused, zeroed in on the small object and my pussy clenched at the thought of having him buried deep inside of me. I nodded and smirked, already desperately wanting to feel him sliding and pumping and just flat out abusing my body from the inside. It was an amazing feeling; all intense and consuming, yet painful in an exquisite torture kind of way. I never walked just right after Jasper was done with me, at least not for the entirety of the next day. I had no clue how Alice with her tiny statuesque was able to take such a beating to her body over and over again and she still managed to skip out the room and come back for more less than an hour later.

I watched with hooded eyes as Jasper slid the condom over his length, hissing through his teeth as he pinched the tip and ran his fingers over his swollen head.

As he positioned himself at my entrance, his lips attacked Alice's and I groaned at the sight of their tongues clashing above me. Their mouths never parted as he pushed his way into me, and all of it was just too much, yet not enough, and I needed something, anything to keep myself busy as he pumped in and out of me, slowly, torturously, mind numbing sensations building painstakingly slow, it was maddening. I adjusted my body a bit, turning ever so slightly, and grabbed hold of Alice's small hips. I shifted her body and raised her one leg over my head, her heated pussy now inches from my face. She gasped as I pulled her down, plunging my tongue into her opening and drinking in her wetness.

"Fuck that so fucking hot, baby. Lean forward. Hold the headboard. I'm going to finger your ass while fucking Bella's tight, wet pussy."

"Fuck, Jazzy. Shit." Alice was apparently unable to form an actual sentence. But she did exactly what she was told. I pressed a finger against her clit and then slid it down and watched as it disappeared inside of her. Her walls clenched at the invasion and mine unconsciously followed suit. Jasper hissed as I felt his finger through the thin walls of Alice's pussy as we jointly fingered her.

Jasper's thrusts started to come more frantically, faster, harder, inconsistent. Burning heat swam in my belly- trying to find a way out, searching, swirling, building, and as it jolted towards my center, I bit down carefully on Alice's swollen clit, then thrust my tongue inside of her to lap up her juices as her whole body tensed and then flailed about above me.

I screamed out in ecstasy as I felt Jasper throb inside of me, and my own orgasm exploded, as Jasper's fluid motions turned jerky and grunted words flew out of his mouth.

The three of us collapsed onto the soft mattress, breathing heavily, erratic and short spurts of hot air. Sated smiles and cocky smirks resting on our lips.

"Just a little break, you two. I'm not done with you girls, yet."

Alice squealed, apparently ready and willing for round two, or what round was it actually for those two? I just smiled and nodded, not knowing just how much energy I would actually have in a few minutes time, but knowing I sure as shit wanted to feel all of that all over again, and again, and again.

**~8?8~**

"Wakey, wakey, Bells. It's almost midnight, and we have to ring in the New Year properly, doll."

I cracked one eye open and glared into Jasper's bright eyes. They danced, all playful and full of naughty things. I couldn't stay upset, as much as I wanted to sleep, I wanted to play all the more. Sleep was a good escape from reality. One in which I spent pleasuring the man I loved, giving myself to him time and time again in a failed attempt to ever convey to him the vastness of my feelings, of my love; but it was never enough, and near the end of each evening's rest, when the birds began to chirp and disrupt my slumber, he would turn away, take what I had offered him and yet another piece of my fragmented heart, and leave. I would wake up feeling empty, frantic, breathless. Yet no matter how haunting the dreams, no matter the absolute pain that they left in their wake, I craved them, clung to them. Because at least once throughout the duration of the repeating dream, he would smile, and I could almost…almost feel his skin on mine.

"Mmm, you smell good. Did you shower?"

"You would ask something like that when my fingers are playing with your soft lower lips. Yes, Alice and I had a shower. She is just drying off, and I thought I'd come and wake you. Here's a glass of water. Drink it. I don't want your mouth all parched while I fuck your face, now do I?"

At his words, my other eye popped open and took in the seriousness on his face. I licked my lips in anticipation and grabbed for the glass of water. Apparently, most women didn't care for performing the act of fellatio on a male. I, however, fucking loved the feeling of being in control it gave me, knowing I could give the most euphoric pleasure or take it away just as fast.

I gulped back the large glass of cool liquid and set the glass on the side table, smacking my lips together hungrily, "Come here, big boy. Put that pretty cock of yours in my mouth." Jasper growled as he crawled over my body, but I shook my head. I wanted to be on top, in control.

"Lay down."

The second he was on his back, his erection poking at his belly button, I was on him; my hand wrapped around his straining cock, and my lips on his swollen, purple tip.

"Fuck, always so eager. So fucking good," Jasper growled out his words as his hands wound into my tangled hair. He pushed and pulled, and I jerked and bobbed with him, sometimes against.

I felt Alice before I heard her. Her soft hands sliding along my legs, parting my swollen lips, probing at my aching clit.

"Always so needy, Bella. I think maybe a good spanking might make you appreciate things a bit more. Don't you?"

I hummed around Jasper's shaft, not daring to remove him from my mouth, and felt myself grow impossibly wetter. My hips gyrated at the thought of being brought to the brink of pain and then pulled into a desperate, shaking orgasm. Alice chuckled softly as her hand came down on my bare ass. I hissed as the slight sting registered but still did not cease my mouth's work.

"Alice, baby, I'm so close. Do it, baby. Don't hold back."

I wasn't sure what Jasper was referring to, but at the mention of him being close, I sucked a bit harder, swirled my tongue a bit faster, and grazed my teeth down the length of him.

The more I worked his cock, the harder and more frequent the slaps came. At first, I was sure it was Alice's hand, but as my backside began to burn and her fingers pressed into my dripping hole, I determined she must be using something else now, something harder, something that felt surprisingly fucking amazing. The contrast between the pain and the pleasure was almost too much, as her fingers played me like a fucking pro and the unknown object came down, again and again, over my heated flesh. Just when I didn't think I could take it anymore, the confusion of feeling the mixture of scorching heat and overwhelming need, a single tear past my clenched eyes, and her fingers curled and one pressed into my ass as again my backside was lit afire, and I exploded, thrashing and pulsing and crying out around Jasper's cock as he came into my mouth, hot liquid sliding down my throat, and my vision fading.

"Fuck!"

My whole body tensed at that single word spoken in a deep, husky voice.

Alice's speaking in a seductive tone caused my body to release and my eyes to fly open. "Well, hello there, handsome…"

_Oh no, she wouldn't!_

"How long have you been peeping on us? Look, you're all swollen and excited. Why don't you close the door and come in to play?"


	35. Chapter 33

**_Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. ~ Cyril Connolly_**

**NSG- Chapter 33**

**EPOV**

I didn't intend on going up there. I wasn't naïve. I knew what sort of activities went on up there, on the top floor. This was, after all, a swinger's gathering. The main atmosphere was familiar, too familiar. A vivid flash of a memory of going to Tanya's for this exact kind of party hit me. I could smell the looming cloud of smoke in the air. I could taste the lingering burn of tequila on my lips. My stomach coiled, just a little, as the memories assaulted me; memories that weren't awful, just unsettling. They were memories…my past, for a very good reason; and that was exactly where I wanted to keep them. I grabbed an open bottle of Jack as I walked past a half naked couple on a large bean bag chair. The girl's breasts were pert; her nipples hard. I adjusted myself as I tried to divert my attention elsewhere, but everywhere I looked, there was sex, breasts and skin. The smell of the act itself permeated the air I was breathing in. It was heady, intoxicating, and in my current state of mind, it was almost too much to bear. I was horny as hell, and for once the constant thoughts of Bella didn't make me want to lash out or curl up and cry; they made me want to feel alive again, the way I did with her.

I sipped and sometimes guzzled on the bottle and cradled the bottle like a baby in between gulps as I meandered through the throngs of couples, threesomes and foursomes. As I reached the base of the stairs, a movement to my left caught my eye. I stopped and stared, taking in the scene before me, not really surprised, and kind of happy to finally see it for myself. James, Bella's bum buddy, and really not that bad of a guy, was on his knees, looking like he was praying, except his head was bobbing forward and back as he sucked one of the biggest dicks I had ever seen like a goddamn pro.

I was surprised by the dainty frame of the tall male…she-male, I wasn't sure what to call him…her. He/she was tall- very, with a tight and lean yet girlish figure. I smiled, just a little. I honestly was glad he had finally found something to attract his attention, someone to share his time and passion with, aside from Bella, of course. Even though she wasn't mine anymore and I no longer had anything to gain from it.

James' partner looked up at me and winked, a small smirk on his/her face, and I nodded and resumed my ascent, climbing the reaming stairs on a happy high, mixed with the alcohol that was streaming rapidly through my system and a raging hard-on. There was no more avoiding what I had come here for; there was no more room for doubt. That is, until I peeked through the door, my jaw dropping, and my tongue darting out to swipe across my lips.

Conflicting emotions warred within me. My first reaction was one of utter shock, which quickly changed to one of jealousy and longing.

There, in Alice's room, was Bella on all fours. Her back was arched and her perfect little ass was in the air, all spread and pulsing red. Her lips were wrapped around Jasper's cock as Alice fingered her from behind. A suspicious looking paddle was in her free hand that seemed to match the appealing red on Bella's back side.

I wanted to run to her, grab her, throw her over my shoulder and take her somewhere, lock her away from the world, keep her as mine and never let her out again. Instead, I chugged back the bottle of burning liquid, as much as I could stand until I was almost lacking oxygen. Then I put the bottle on the ground and stood there some more. My eyes were like magnets, unable to turn away from the painful yet arousing scene before me.

My head wanted to run. My feet wouldn't obey. My heart wanted to curl up and hide away, black and broken, but my dick throbbed painfully in anticipation, desperation, need.

I tried to turn around, walk away. Instead, I unzipped my pants and palmed my aching cock.

"How long have you been peeping on us? Look, you're all swollen and excited. Why don't you close the door and come in to play?"

My eyes darted toward Alice's voice as they widened and my breath hitched. Time seemed to stand still as I weighed my options versus the agonizing pain in my chest and the pathetic reasoning my alcohol lazed brain was spewing out at me.

I had once decided that I would take Bella any way I could get her. Sure, that was before I had her all to myself, before I knew I was irrevocably in love with her, before she turned into a walking zombie right before my eyes. Could I still hold myself to that decision? Could the chance to be able to feel her, touch her, taste her, and be inside of her be enough to hold the demonic bastard that was living in my chest, clawing at my heart and shredding it, still be enough?

Slowly, Alice approached me. I could see the hesitation in her eyes, along with a hint of something I couldn't quite grasp in my inebriated state but knew it must be trouble. Alice never did anything without a reason, and for the past month or so she had been trying to convince me to talk to Bella. So, I could only imagine that this awkward invitation was her way of mending bridges. Odd way, yes. But it was such an Alice thing to do. Talk with her body, and apparently, entice others to do so, as well.

"Doesn't she look so tasty, laying there all spread out, just waiting to be licked clean?" Alice whispered as she stopped in front of me, her bare breasts glistening with a light sheen of sweat. I stared at them, unabashedly; I couldn't help myself. I hadn't even been able to properly rub one out on myself since Bella. The girl had done that much damage to my psyche as well as my heart. And I caved.

Robotically, I moved forward, Alice grasping my hand in hers the whole way. My already undone pants falling further down my legs with each step. Alice helped me out of them completely once we reached the bedside.

My eyes never left Bella's splayed out body that was now lying sideways, facing Jasper, as their mouths engulfed each other's faces. I growled, not intending to, but the longer I watched her like that, being so intimate with someone who wasn't me, kissing, making those soft mewling sounds, brought forth the caveman in me, and I pounced.

My hands skimmed up her legs, from her ankles up, until they reached her thighs. I grasped onto them, so soft, so Bella, and kneaded them greedily. I craved the feel of her in my hands. It was so comforting, so natural. Her hips lifted off of the bed causing her glistening pussy to jump up at me, and it was too much, too tempting. My face jerked forward, my tongue lapping out hungrily, like a dying man crawling through a scorching desert and chancing upon a small pool of water, a life saver, desperation. My tongue swirled and flattened as I swiped it from opening to opening. Not even the foreign feeling of Alice's small hands caressing my balls and teasing my length could distract me. I knew it was happening; it felt fucking amazing, but I was so lost in Bella's intoxicating scent. I had missed it, longed for it; I would take what I wanted this one time, consequences be damned, and I would fucking take until there was no more to take. Desperation. Inhale, deeply. My whole body swimming with lust. My heart hammering with pain from her close proximity yet the undeniable feeling of her never being farther away.

"Fuck, Bella, Yeah. Do it again." Jasper's husky voice caught my attention. Alice's lips were now wrapped deliciously around my cock. Slowly, so fucking painfully slow, I could feel my orgasm mounting, and I wanted a monster of an explosion to blow out of that aching fucker. It had been so long. The intensity of it… Bella's whole body arched up, her legs shuddered and my tongue never once stopped its circular motions. Her distinct taste flooded my mouth, and I swear my stomach growled in anticipation of its approaching meal.

"Please, I …I need more…I need…"

"Do you want me to fuck you hard, baby girl?"

_I don't fucking think so_.

I was on my knees in a matter of seconds, Alice completely forgotten and staring at me with wide eyes as she sat in a heap at the end of the bed, her mouth still open in an O shape from sucking me off.

"Mine."

Jasper's eyes darted in my direction, his features twisting into a cocky smirk. That fucker. He knew what he was doing. He knew it would drive me crazy. And then it hit me. The odd glimmer in Alice's eyes. Alice being so persistent about me coming tonight. Jasper's obvious disregard for his life. They had planned this, and I had fallen into their trap, easily, willingly, and hopelessly. My insides heaved. My vision fading, and I threw myself off of the bed, scrambling for my jeans and tugging them on.

My eyes darted back and forth between Bella, who was watching me with hooded eyes, gleaming with wetness, and I couldn't take it.

My heart cracked; I could feel it as intensely as if it were my arm or leg.

"Fuck…fuck…fuck. I can't do this." I howled in agony as I darted from the room, slamming the door shut behind me.


	36. Chapter 34

**_Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. ~ Cyril Connolly_**

**NSG- Chapter 34**

I laid three momentarily, my body still wound tight from its approaching orgasm. It screamed at me to continue, to grind or rub…something, until it got what it craved. My heart, however, thumped wildly, painful, agonizing, cracking in my chest, spearing me with doubt and longing. It had been so long since I had been that close to him, to be able to smell him and feel him on me, touch my skin; and when he dove in and began licking my folds greedily, I fucking reveled in it, all anxiety about him being there while Jasper and Alice were was long forgotten. I knew I had missed him, always feeling a hollow aching in my chest; I just didn't realize just how much until his flesh had contacted with mine. Desire, mixed with all-encompassing pain had surged through me, driving me on, paralyzing me; but I wanted it so bad I would do anything, and if this is the only way Edward would touch me, heaven help me, I would do it. When I realized what Alice was doing to him, my eyes twitched and my body heated up, not from desire surprisingly, but from jealousy, rage, an overwhelming need to claim what was mine, even though he wasn't, but I wanted. Oh, how I wanted to tell my best fucking friend to get her hands and her mouth off my man. It was painful, and a burning pain of self-hate flushed through me. I had used Jasper as a distraction, and with Edward's mouth devouring me, pushing me towards something so powerful and body shattering, it was easy, but only for a moment; because when he had ran off, I easily saw the pain lacing his beautiful eyes; it was so piercing it took my breath away. The cracking torture in his voice was like a dagger to my heart. Which led me to believe he hadn't wanted me that way either. Maybe he wanted me the way I now realized I wanted him, completely, whole. Just the two of us.

I leapt forward, knocking Jasper off the side of the bed in my haste. I barely noticed Alice still perched on her haunches at the end of the bed as I scampered by her, not even stopping to put on my clothes; I was too focused on getting to him.

I swung the door open, surprisingly coherent enough to remember to close it behind me, and darted into the long hall, crashing right into the hunched over form of Edward.

His eyes met mine, tortured, burning, damp- a reflection of my own. I threw my arms around him, sobbing uncontrollably; my whole body convulsing with the heavy wails that wracked my trembling frame.

As if he just knew what I needed, I felt his arms slowly, tentatively wrap around me, engulfing me with the very essence of him, his smell, his touch, his comfort; and instantly I felt at ease, granted a brief reprieve of the ever pressing suffocation that had been residing in my chest for so long that by that point I was beginning to just accept it as an everyday part of living.

His chest heaved as his arms snaked around me tighter, pulling me into him, my body flush with his, heaving, heavy breathing, salty tears and…I pressed my lips to the stubbled skin of his neck and began peppering soft desperate kisses on every available inch of skin I could get to and something just clicked or maybe snapped; my leg hitched, wrapping around his legs, jerking, twitching to get higher, to reach that place where he would press into me exactly where I needed to feel him. When he leaned down and his lips met mine, it was like the area around us faded, black and dim, shadowed and clouded with lust and need and want and desire.

"Stop, we need to stop." I almost lost my footing as Edward gently pushed me away from his body, his hands around my arms and his eyes swimming with something that strongly resembled disgust, and I blanched, my heart thumping so wildly, so erratically that it restricted my breathing; bile began rising in my throat as my mind finally caught up with the moment and registered the rejection all over Edward's face. I stumbled back, wrapping my hands around my still bare torso in shame, lacing pain scorched like wild fire, bursting out from the cavity in my chest and spreading into my limbs, rendering me speechless and feeling helpless and lost.

When I finally found my voice, Edward had already taken a few small steps away from me, the expression on his face now guarded and cautious.

As the ever fucked up situation finally caught up with me, I croaked out, "Oh my god. I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking…well, I do…but, apparently, I was wrong. Oh god…" and buried my face in my hands, no longer caring if I was naked or not. Shame had nothing on me. I turned to sprint away but staggered and braced myself against the wall.

I had to get out of there. I had made a total fool of myself. I thought Edward had looked at me as something more than just a fuck, but I must have been wrong. I could have sworn I saw something in his eyes, something I was positive was more than lust; but what the fuck did I know, really? I was nothing but a skanky college girl whose only sexual experiences had to be with older, more experienced people.

"Bella, stop. Please, look at me." I felt Edward's hand on my shoulder, and a shot of desire coursed through me just by the simple touch. I shivered and sighed and finally turned to face him, keeping my eyes on the floor. "What, Edward? I said I'm sorry. I jumped to conclusions. I thought… I thought maybe you wanted me, too." My heart galloped in my chest painfully when I heard Edward's sharp intake of breath. This was it, the moment he would realize I was nothing but a hopeful fool. He would see me for what I really was, someone only good for fucking and nothing more.

"Bella… I want you, too. But as more than this..." I slowly looked up to see Edward motioning with his hand between us. "I don't want to be just a play thing to you anymore. I want it to be me and you and no one else. I don't want to worry constantly about you finally stepping up your game and letting Jasper fuck you. I don't want to be constantly comparing myself to a fucking girl, thinking maybe she is better with her tongue than me. Or even worse, that maybe one day you'll wake up and decide you want nothing to do with men and instead jump on the pink taco only train. I fucking love touching you, Bella, but it makes my whole body scream out in agony when I see Jasper, or even Alice, touching you. I don't want to share. I want you all to my fucking self."

I almost collapsed with relief, my knees buckling, trying to give out on me. I stared at him then, wide-eyed and unbelieving and with a wicked throbbing sense of guilt coursing through me.

I wanted nothing more than to bob my head, agree with him completely, and hopefully finally begin my happily ever after. However, I knew that just wasn't in the cards for us quite yet.

I had to tell him the truth. I didn't want to take this chance with something that felt like a gift from the fates and blow it when and if he found out that I had actually slept with Jasper; but on the other hand, I was scared shitless that once I told him, it would be too much and he wouldn't be able to forgive me, to get past the fact that he was now no longer the only one to have been inside of me that way.

I sighed deeply, knowing it was now or never. "Edward, I want that too, but I think we should talk before you decide that this is truly what you want."

My eyes were clenched shut, tears still slipping past my shut lids, unable to look him in the eyes and see the disgust that would surely cloud his features the moment I told him.

"I…I'm not…" Edward's hand on my cheek made my eyes flutter open and my words halt.

"I know we need to talk. I'm not so naïve as to think we can just shove all this shit aside and never deal with it. Tomorrow, let's wait until tomorrow. Tonight, come home with me, Bella, let me hold you. That's it. Nothing more. I just want to feel you in my arms and wake up to your sleeping body next to me."

How could I say no to that? I wanted it too. So bad I almost felt sick to my stomach with need. I nodded my head and smiled up at him, taking his hand, ready to go wherever he wanted to take me. I knew I would do anything he asked of me, and this was just a start.

When he continued standing there, not moving, just grinning, I quirked an eyebrow at him, worried he had maybe changed his mind, that this was just a cruel joke.

"Maybe you should put some clothes on first." He chuckled softly, "Not that I'm not enjoying the view, but I'd rather not share it with all of those sex fiends down there."

I snorted, then choked a little. I had completely forgotten about my state of dress, or lack thereof. I quickly sprinted back to Alice's room, not even knocking as I pushed the door open and began scrambling around on the floor for my clothes.

I wiggled into my shirt and was just about to shimmy on my jeans when I heard Jasper clear his throat. My eyes darted up to meet his, all dancing and smug. "Going with Edward?"

I nodded, not knowing what to say to him or Alice, who was smiling down at me, her head dangling off the end of the bed and her bare feet crossed up in the air; her eyes, just like Jasper's were dancing with mischief, and I couldn't help but wonder just what those two were up to.

"Good. That's real good."

I didn't stop, just smiled at them as I heaved up my jeans and hopped back to the door, where I could see Edward watching me with a mild look of apprehension on his beautiful face. I smiled up at him, reassuring him this was what I wanted, not once looking back. There was no need to. My future was in front of me. Alice and Jasper would always be my friends, but no longer anything more. I hoped Edward would understand that.

With my heart surging with hope and love, I grabbed hold of his hand, and together we descended the stairs. I didn't even stop to question James, who I caught sight of from the corner of my eye all tangled and sucking face with what surprisingly looked like a _girl_ with flaming red hair.


	37. Chapter 35

**_Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. ~ Cyril Connolly_**

**NSG- Chapter 35**

**APOV**

I smiled at Jasper after the door closed shut. It had worked, all our planning and scheming and frustration had finally paid off.

"We can only hope now that they don't fuck this up."

I sighed at rolled over on the bed, looking directly into Jasper's troubled eyes.

"I know. She's going to have to learn to be more open and honest with him."

"And he's going to have to learn to accept her past, and that that is exactly what it is to her, her past."

Jasper was smarted than the average male, and I loved him to pieces for it. I really did.

"Do you think he can? Accept it, I mean? I can only assume she will tell him about us, about you more than me. That's gonna hurt, bad."

"I know, darling. I know. We just have to have faith in them. I really think they are kind of made for each other and shit. So, yeah, I hope he has learned from her absence in his life to accept, forgive, and let go. I think he can, they can. I really do."

I curled into Jasper's side. I had high hopes for those two, Bella and Edward. I had known all along that Bella wasn't suited for my world, at least not permanently. And Edward, well he had always come across to me as more of a monogamous, vanilla type. He had shocked me all to hell when he had joined them tonight. And I had had to step up my game a bit because of it.

I had originally assumed, if he actually came, that he would see her, go all caveman on her ass, and drag her off somewhere so they could finally hash out all their shit.

This seemed to have worked, too; it just wasn't how I envisioned it happening.

I jumped from the bed, a huge smile pulling at my lips.

"Get up. Get dressed. I have some people I'd like you to meet."

I chuckled softly as I thought about the pair that I hoped were already there. Bella may have been only experimenting, but this lifestyle was mine forever. It was just who I was. Sure, I loved Jasper and all, and I would never go off and play without him, but I couldn't be in a vanilla relationship. I just couldn't.

Luckily, Jasper didn't want that either. He was all for sharing, as long as he was present while the sharing occurred, and that I could definitely agree to.

In fact, I had met a couple a few years back, at a swingers club in California. I hadn't thought anything of the couple at the time, aside from how attractive they were. But when I ran into them the other week, it had all fallen into place. They were into swinging and swapping and foursomes, too. And as fate would have it, looking for something more permanent. That worked perfectly for me and Jasper, as well. And after talking with them occasionally over the past weeks, I had come to learn that the four of us were very compatible with our lives, in the bedroom, and not.

I could only hope that Jasper would feel the same way, too.

After we were dressed, I curled my hand around his and pulled him out of the room and towards the stairs.

Descending, I smiled brightly, hope for a future with my man and my lifestyle coursing through me and adding a small bounce to my step. And then, right there, just walking through the door as we stepped off of the last stair, they were here.

I let go of Jasper's hand and skipped forward.

"Oh, I'm so glad you are here, and perfect timing, too. Come, come."

I turned to find a bemused looking Jasper and waved my hand between him and our new guests.

"Jasper, I'd like you to meet Emmett and Rosalie."


	38. Chapter 36

**_Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. ~ Cyril Connolly_**

**Chapter 36**

Edward wasn't lying when he said he wanted to go home and just _lay_ with me, and it was oh so bittersweet being under the same roof as him again. With him there, I felt like I was at home once more. Our home. He wanted to go right to bed. I desperately wanted a shower, to wash away my night and my indiscretions. It felt like a boulder was perched precariously on my shoulders, just waiting to fall. Realistically, there probably was. I crumpled onto the floor of the bathtub, tears flowing down my face and mixing in with the swirl of water below me. I knew I should be out there, with him, enjoying the time with him while I could. But I couldn't allow myself that; no, it would hurt too much when he pulled back, repulsed and disappointed and ready to walk away, again.

I realized, now, that it was my own fault he walked away from me, from us, in the first place. I had withdrawn into myself, refusing to compromise, or even talk for that matter. I had acted immaturely, like the teenager I was, and I had taken advantage of Edward's feeling for me, and his patience. In so many ways I still felt like a kid. Young, inexperienced, naïve, and stupid. Mostly stupid. But I didn't want to be that way anymore. I wanted to be so much more for Edward, and with him, too. And I truly felt like I could be, now. But I had made so many mistakes along the way, so many stupid, life altering mistakes.

"Bella, are you okay in there?" I flinched at the concern in his voice. Could he just stop being so sweet and attentive, just once? It would sure make my guilt that much easier to contain. I stopped myself right there. I was losing my head, once again. This wasn't his fault. No, he may not be completely innocent in this whole clusterfuck, but it sure wasn't his fault I had turned out to be a sexual deviant, a stupid, blind, sexual deviant, at that.

"Yeah. I'll be right out."

I raised up, on shaky legs, the water still cascading all around me, with new determination.

I was going to spend one last amazing night in the arms of the man I was painfully in love with. Then, I would shamelessly purge my every last fuck up to him, and pray- pray really fucking hard- that his love for me and mine for him would be enough for him to be able to see past my indiscretions, my stupidity, and my lack of faith, in us, in him; but most of all, in me.


	39. Chapter 37

**_Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. ~ Cyril Connolly_**

**Chapter 37**

"Come here, beautiful. It's been too long since I've had you in my arms."

I smiled, even though with every sweet word he spoke my heart cracked a little more. This man was absolutely perfect. How had I ever thought anything different?

I crawled into the bed beside him and curled into his open arms. Instantly, everything felt right and all the shit in my head faded. He pressed a soft kiss to my crown, and I sighed in contentment.

We didn't say anything. It was like we both knew tomorrow would be heavy enough and equally wanted to enjoy just one night beforehand.

As I was drifting, all warm and happy, I heard him whisper, "I've always loved you, Bella. I always will."

**~8?8~**

I had been awake for countless minutes already, forcing myself to stay as still as possible, curled into Edward's warmth, his arms wrapped around me, his legs tangled with mine. I could stay this way forever. I don't know how I had ever thought otherwise, how I had survived so long purposely depriving myself of everything that was him, and for what? Some misconceived notion that relationships couldn't work? That sex spoke more volumes than love? No matter which way I twisted it in my mind, it all came out the same way, that I was a total fuck up and had made a life altering, epic mistake. I had hurt the first person I had ever truly loved; and love, fuck it felt amazing once you allowed yourself to open up to it, bask in its beauty, lose yourself in its glow. And I was ready now, overly willing, actually.

And that was why I was literally ready to pee myself. I felt it, all of it, in his arms, here with him, and once he was awake that would all be shot to hell, all the love and comfort would warp into pain and anger…

"Bella, I know you're awake. I don't know why you're curled into me doing some weird horizontal rendition of the pee-pee dance, but you're going to give yourself a bladder infection. Go to the bathroom; I promise I'll still be here when you get back."

I bit my tongue at his words, wanting to laugh at the absurdity of them and wanting to smile at his playfulness, but it got caught in the heavy weight that was pressing against my chest, consuming, clogging anything even remotely close to happiness from springing forth.

I pressed a soft kiss to the curve of his pec and shimmied backwards and off of the bed, dashing to the bathroom the second the chilly air hit my skin.

I took longer than needed, way longer. I was bent over the sink, staring in the mirror that held the reflection of a broken girl, dark circles under her wild, frantic looking eyes, flushed cheeks, flaring nostrils. I looked nothing like the girl I had once been, full of life, shy, and curious.

The sound of Edward's feet padding across the floor jarred me from my musings, and I turned slowly, my hands shaking, my palms damp, breathing deeply, and opened the door. The sight on the other side had me flushed and breathy; Edward was bent over, changing his pants.

"Hey, I was beginning to wonder if you'd fell asleep in there."

I shook my head, tears already springing to my eyes.

This was it.

I took a deep breath, pulling on my proverbial big-girl panties, and motioned towards the door to the living room. I couldn't do this, not in here, in his bedroom, where we had…no, I just couldn't do that here.

"Edward, we need to talk," I whispered, my words clear yet so soft I was surprised he even heard me. He looked up, his eyes wide and sad, and nodded his head.

"Yeah, I guess we can't put it off forever," he whispered.

"No, no we can't."

Edward, apparently, already had his coffee maker pre-set, so a pot was already brewed and waiting for us as I sat down on the lounge chair across from the couch. I couldn't be too close to him, not right now, not with the imminent rejection that was hovering over me. I needed space, and to be able to see into his eyes as I purged to him my stupidity and in the same breath professed my love.

"Still two milk, two sugar?" Edward called out; that insignificant question caused me to break down. He remembered something as trivial as what I took in my coffee, and that simple act caused my chest to explode in an agglomeration of pain.

Tears flooded my eyes and my chest heaved as agonized sobs tore through me, causing my whole body to shudder violently.

"Bella? Holy shit, baby, what's wrong?" Edward was at my side in a heartbeat, his fingers gently brushing my hair away from my face, his voice so soothing, so concerned. I didn't deserve any of it, though, and I wanted to push him away, have him as far away from me as possible when I told him what I had done. I couldn't stand the thought of him pulling away from me with repulsion in his eyes, but my limbs were so weak; I just didn't have it in me to push, never mind fight. My breaths came out shallow and stilted as I stumbled over my words, fighting past my sobs and blinded by my tears. "I...I slept with Jasper."

A soft choking sound came from Edward, and nothing else. He was completely motionless, down on his haunches, his fingers still and lingering in my hair; his huffed breaths fanned across my face, and my heart leapt and crashed. This was it, the moment where I lost everything that was truly anything. My nerves took hold of me, and I began to prattle, every stagnant thought, confession, and desire that had been waiting to be spoken, to be shared, to be confessed for far too long, pouring from me in a jumble of words.

I couldn't bring myself to look at him, so I just stared at my twining hands as I rambled, "It didn't mean anything, not really. I don't know what I was thinking, or maybe I do. I had this disillusion, that love would hurt, and sex would not. But it did, maybe not right away, but afterwards, when I was alone and I thought of you. I'm always thinking of you, but when I thought of you then, it fucking hurt so bad, and the only time that pain faded even the slightest was when I was lost in Jasper and Alice. It was ...it made me feel like I was wanted, like I was sexually appealing, and I know that it's all an excuse and none of what I am saying negates the fact that I hurt you, unconsciously and immaturely. But I wouldn't do it again, not ever. Not Jasper, not even Alice. I'm so lost in this love I am feeling, this love that I have for you; I don't feel anything anymore except pain, Edward. And I know I have lost you, and you can never forgive me, but...but...I had to at least tell you everything, let you know that I love you, even after all of the stupid shit I have done and said, I fucking love you, and I'm so sorry."

I sobbed even harder after my rant. I wasn't even sure Edward was listening. I still couldn't bring myself to look into his eyes and he had yet to say anything, not even flinching in the least at my words.

I took a deep breath, knowing in order to save any face at all I needed to leave, and now. On wobbly legs, with my chest constricting painfully, tears still trailing down my cheeks, I rose. Edward's fingers slipped from my hair, and I finally looked down at him. His head was bowed, his body shaking, and I despised myself in that moment. I had been the one to cause him that, to make such a proud man crumble. I didn't deserve to even be in the same room as him, and that truth hurt more than having to tell him what I had done. It was a pressing, suffocating truth, one that would haunt me for years to come.

Slowly, I backed away from the chair, edging towards the doorway. I didn't bother looking for my things; I couldn't really remember what I had brought with me anyways.

Before I reached the door, I whimpered out, "I'm so sorry, Edward. I love you." Edward still didn't move, didn't acknowledge my words. So, I bowed my head, another sob crawling up my aching throat, and reached for the door handle, accepting that this was Edward's choice, and I had to let him go.

Before I could open the door, though, Edward's pained voice caused my head to jerk up. "I already knew. I didn't want to be the one to bring it up. I wanted to see if you'd tell me yourself; but ... I...I just didn't think it would hurt so much hearing you say it aloud."

What? What did he just say? I stumbled forward a bit, my legs almost giving out on me. "You already knew what?" I asked, my voice barely audible, coming out more like a gasp of words.

"I already knew that you slept with Jasper."


	40. Chapter 38

_**Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. ~ Cyril Connolly**_

**Chapter 38**

I didn't know what to say to that. My mind was racing, my guilt still consuming me, but now my anger was flaring, and there was no way that could be a great combination.

How did he know?

Who told him?

And what right did they have to tell him, or anyone else, my personal fucking life?

Before I could say anything, I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye. My head snapped in that direction, my eyes widening like a deer caught in headlights, and I watched, warily, my heart thundering in my chest, as Edward slowly moved towards me, his own eyes glistening with tears.

When his outstretched hand made contact with my shoulder, I shuddered, all the anger draining from me, leaving me a slumped over mess of confusion and defeat.

Tears streamed down my face as he pulled me into him, curling his arms around me and threading one hand into my hair.

"I ran into Jamie. He uh…he's very protective of you, and he had a few things to say. At the time, I was half in the bag and couldn't give two shits about what he was saying. I blew him off, was rude; I may have even said some things I didn't mean. But then he showed me a side of him I have never seen before, the side that must be why he is one of your closest friends. He shoved me into a chair, glared at me, and spent a good twenty minutes explaining to me why I was a fool, why you were, too. Then…then he told me about Jasper, not maliciously, I don't think. I think he was trying to nail it into my thick head that you would move on, that life would go forward if we didn't get our acts together."

I tried to interrupt him, to tell him Jamie had no right, but he shushed me, placing a finger against my lips and shaking his head softly.

"Maybe that wasn't the best way to find out. Maybe you should have had the chance to tell me first, but I'm glad he did tell me, because it was exactly the kick in the ass I needed to get my head on straight. I spent days wallowing in my apartment after that, drinking myself into a stupor and screaming at the walls. Then, I spent another two days cleaning the mess I had made during said tantrum." I chuckled lightly at that, picturing Edward screaming at nothingness, possibly waiting for a response, but then I remembered the heaviness of the situation and that I had been the cause of his inner turmoil and my chuckle came out choked, a deep sob replacing it.

"We've made a giant mess, haven't we, love?" Edward murmured into my hair, and I sobbed even harder at that, my head bobbing in agreeance.

"I won't lie, Bella. It hurt like hell to hear, to know, to picture; and I did all of those things while I sat here drunk out of my mind. I even vomited when picturing him inside of you. And when I finally got past it, I thought maybe, just maybe I could play the game you three were playing, that I could join, accept, and settle for being able to have you, even if I had to share. But then I got to Alice's, and I saw you there, with them, and something in me just broke. I couldn't do it, no matter how badly I wanted you, or how much I loved you, I just couldn't stick around and watch another person, man or woman, touch what I wanted to be mine, only mine. So, I fled, decided to let you go, that maybe it was too late; but then you came to me, without your clothing, to boot, and …and…that left me with hope, hope I still have. Please, Bella, tell me the truth. Is that part of your life over? Can you be with me and only me? Do you even want that? 'Cause if you stay now, I can assure you I will never let you go again. From here on out it will be just me and you. No more sexual experimentation. No more making out with anyone else ever again, just me, just you, just us."

His words did nothing to quell my sobbing, hysteria. In fact, just the opposite; I cried harder, my whole body heaving and trembling with the wails that flew from my constricting throat. Every single thing he said, every word, was truth. And I felt it, too. I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around his neck, press my lips to his, tell him I wanted that all, as well. That all I ever truly wanted, even when I was too stupid and blinded to see it, was him. But I couldn't even manage to squeeze out a single comprehendible word. My emotions were everywhere. I wanted him, but I was hurting. I agreed and wanted the same things he did, but felt maybe I didn't deserve to be given them. It was rather disconcerting to want something so bad yet feel like you should walk away, give that something a chance at something better. I thought over his words, words that were muddled together with my own worries, guilt, and inadequacies; lost in it all, I almost ran, yet again. Scared, stupid, and overwhelmed; but then I felt Edward press a kiss against the crown of my head, heat shot through me, comfort, everything I had always wanted, craved, and had already once foolishly thrown away, and it was like my mind, heart, and body were finally flowing together along the same wave length.

Dampness pooled under my eyes, and I raised my face, looking up into Edward's concerned and loving gaze, and I raised my hand, placing it on his cheek, swiping away an errant tear with my thumb before placing a soft kiss in its wake.

"I want the exact same thing, Edward. I love you. So much. Let's let go of the past and start our future together. Just the two of us."

**So, I am thinking 2 more chapters and possibly an epi. Then we are finally all done with this fic. Are ya happy or sad that is will finally be marked complete?**

**Also, if it isn't too much to ask, I am working on my first ever drabble-like fic. It is called THE LIES WE LIVE WITH, and it is three quarters of the way done. I'd love for you to check it out, leave ur thoughts, and lemme know how I'm doing with it. It is a B x E fic...rather angsty- but a HEA will be had. Promise.**


	41. Chapter 39

Disclaimer - Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. Plagiarism is theft. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted.

This story is the sole property of Breath-of-twilight. It may not be copied, published or posted elsewhere without my express written consent which I do not give at this time.

* * *

~∞Ѿ∞~

_Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. ~ Cyril Connolly_

* * *

**Chapter 39**

On December 31st I had every reason to believe I would head over to Alice's, get shit faced to the point where I felt numb, get laid, and wake up in the New Year and start it all over again. Lather, rinse, repeat.

And, yes, I did go to Alice's.

I definitely did drink away my pain.

Sexual acts were involved to some extent, but I didn't wake up the next day, still as confused and hollow as ever. Instead, I woke up, started the New Year with brutal honesty; and now, a month later, I was as happy as I had been in a very long time.

Edward and I were more in love than ever, and we made sure to tell each other that every day.

He was finished school this year and was already job hunting, refusing to simply go work for his father. I couldn't understand why he was being so stubborn about it, but I supported him in his hunt and his obsession with being able to make it on his own, because somehow, when it was all said and done, I saw him going to work within his father's company either way.

Alice and I still talked almost every day, usually on the phone, though, in between classes or first thing in the morning. I told her it was better this way, for now; and she understood. Edward and I needed time to rebuild our relationship, our trust in each other and ourselves. Eventually, we would again hang out with Alice and Jasper, just as friends; but, for now, a long distance friendship of sorts was a good start.

It seemed like Jamie just disappeared after New Years. I had been worried sick about him after I was able to let go of my anger and realize he was just trying to stand up for me, be a friend. Seven days of calling him non-stop and he finally answered the phone, sounding as if he were still asleep at four in the afternoon. I screamed and yelled, and called him every name in the book; then I asked if he was okay. Once I knew he was, I gave him one hell of a lashing, telling him how much he had worried me. He simply explained he had some shit going on and that he would call me soon and we'd meet up for coffee, to chat, share, and explain.

That was almost four weeks ago. Last night, he finally called and we were supposed to meet up on campus for a coffee in just a few minutes. I was rushing to make it on time, scowling as each and every corner I turned held some obstacle; wet floors, classmates wanting notes, the fucking lawn being mowed. When I finally burst through the café's front doors, all red-faced and panting- I immediately saw him sitting off in a corner booth. His face lit up with a huge smile when he noticed me and he waved me over, motioning to the matching pair of cups on the table. I hurried over to him, grateful that he was kind enough to grab me a cup of coffee, too; the line-up was fucking massive.

"Is there some super half-priced sale or some shit on coffee that I was unaware of?" I joked, eyeing up the line-up once again. Jamie just laughed as I removed my coat and blew on my hands, trying to warm them. As I sat, he scooped up my hands, cupping them in his own, and began rubbing them together; the heat from him immediately soothing my chilly digits.

As he acted all sweet and caring, I slanted my eyes, giving him the stink eye before barking out, "You had so better have a damn good reason for scaring the bejesus out of me, and, oh, I also have a small bone to pick with you, Mister loose lips. What were you thinking telling Edward about Jasper? Huh! What right…"

"Enough!" He pulled his hands away from mine, his brow all up and almost hidden in his hairline. "Don't you dare go acting all innocent and burned with me, Miss- if-I-hide-from-it-it-will-go-away-right? I was half corked when I ran into him. For that matter, so was he. We exchanged some words; he pissed me off; I defended you. Then I told him not so subtly that other cocks are more than happy to take a dip in your honey-pond. So, he'd better smarten the fuck up quick. He deserved it with how holier than thou he was acting, all up on himself and how fucking perfect his shit smells. Well, let me tell you, sweetie, shit is shit. It all smells fucking rank, even out of an ass as fine as his. Now that that is out of the way, I don't want to hear another word about it. I did it for you, thinking of you. Stop being on the defensive all the time and accept that some people just care and are not always out to one up you."

His rant left me speechless. I wanted to be hurt, feel offended, but he was right. I was about to go all high and mighty on him, when really what he did was try to defend me, stick up for a friend. And if there was anything I had learned as of late it was not to hold grudges; that shit festers and destroys you from the inside out. So, instead of lipping off right back at him, I bit my lip, smirked at him, and jumped up from the table, laughing lightly as he ducked away from me. I wrapped my arms around him, landing in his lap and hugging him tight. "I am so glad you are my friend. I'm sorry for being a bitch. You're right. Thank you."

With that out of the way, I listened as Jamie literally went goo-goo-gaa-gaa over some chick named Victoria…

"Wait, wait. Stop! A girl? Seriously, my gay-as-they-come-friend, you are all moon-eyed over a fucking girl? How the hell did that happen?"

He burst out laughing, his eyes almost looking as if they were dancing from the bright sunlight shining on them. "Oh, dear Belly. Have you heard a word I have been saying? Victoria is not a girl exactly. More like she's a Victor dressed up as a drag queen, and an amazing one at that. I met her at Alice's New Year's Eve party, and we've been inseparable ever since. I…I think she's it for me. Now don't be mad okay, just hear me out." He looked at me, his eyes burning into mine, assumedly waiting for me to answer him. So, I nodded reluctantly, already regretting whatever I was agreeing to. It had to be bad for him to ask me not to get mad first, right?

"So, Vikki doesn't live near here. She actually lives in Vegas." He rolled his eyes at that, "Ya, I know, a drag queen in Vegas. How cliché, right? But it makes her happy, and whatever makes her smile makes me happy, so Vegas it is." He just stared at me after that, and I stared right back, wondering what the fuck where some almost-chick lived had to do with me, until it was like a bright as fuck light bulb went off in my head, momentarily blinding me with its glare.

I shook my head, not really accepting right away what he must be saying, what he was getting at. "No…I must be misunderstanding you. What about classes? Your life here? You can't just go…"

He snorted at that. "What life here? I don't know if you have noticed, but my family is nowhere near by, and most of them haven't even spoken a word to me since I came out of the closet, so to speak, anyways.

As for classes, I never really needed them. I just needed an outlet for my constantly whizzing mind. I can pick up any courses I want in Vegas, as well. I know it's far away, and I will miss you, my Belly, but a little birdie told me you have one sweet piece of man meat to keep you company these days. We can talk on the phone, Skype, email. Think of it this way, now you'll have a reason to visit Vegas."

Jamie was leaving me. I didn't want to understand why, but after everything I had gone through this past year, I had no choice but to understand. I would move to the arctic for Edward if it meant staying with him. How could I begrudge that kind of happiness to Jamie if that was what he really wanted? I couldn't. That was all there was to it. So, I swallowed my own feeling of loss and smiled as hard as I could at him.

"I am so happy for you, Jamie. Things really worked out for us, huh?"

"Come here, Bellykins." He motioned for me to join him on his side of the booth. So I did, and he immediately pulled me into his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around me and holding me to his chest as he murmured, "We're going to be just fine, Belly, just fine."

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**One more chapter to go. Then a short one in APOV- possibly an epi. I am unsure if I will write one yet.**

**Be sure to let me know if you feel the story needs one, k?**

**I would love to hear from you in a review.**

**v**

**v**

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	42. Chapter 40

**Disclaimer - Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. Plagiarism is theft. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted.**

**This story is the sole property of Breath-of-twilight. It may not be copied, published or posted elsewhere without my express written consent which I do not give at this time.**

**Thanks Ann.**

* * *

**~∞Ѿ∞~**

_Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. ~ Cyril Connolly_

**Chapter 40**

**February**

Valentine's Day was my new favorite day of the year.

Edward took me to his place and had an amazing candlelit picnic set up in the living room. He fed me strawberries and pieces of bread dipped in spicy butter. He gave me the most gorgeous charm bracelet with one charm already attached.

It was of a book, which he explained was for the library and, well, you know. I knew right away, too, but it was still amusing watching him stutter over his words as he explained that even though our path to happiness was filled with bumps, bends, roadblocks, and dead ends, there were still stops along the way that he held highly in his memory.

Of course his carrel was one of them. Sure that wasn't the sweetest sentiment, but it was Edward, and it was true.

I loved him all the more for it.

We spent the night on his living room floor touching and tasting, not once was there any actual penetration, 'cause, yeah it turns out Edward has a kink fetish for tasting food off of body parts and seeing me lick strawberry sauce off of his cock was just too much. The poor boy blew within three minutes.

He was totally embarrassed. Where I, on the other hand, was rather grateful. Well, I mean my jaw was. Like, really, Edward was seriously fucking hung. You try sucking him off for extended periods of time. Can you say lockjaw? Yeah that's what I thought.

Either way, I got mine, but by the time he was starting to twitch and rise to the occasion once again, his face was still buried between my legs. And like the frisky bitch that I am, I managed to wiggle and shimmy my way with him still in between my legs, his body bending and shifting as he tried to follow me, and 'POP' he was right back in my mouth. Lockjaw be damned, I loved having him in my mouth, knowing I could cause him to lose control like that. It was empowering. It was beautiful, and it made my man happy. And that was the thing; making him happy was my new sole mission. Because seeing him smile, hearing him groan out my name at the highest point a man can get, all of it, that was what made me happy.

And after everything, we were, finally, happy I mean.

* * *

**5 more chapters after this. They are all short, like this. Some not as short as others. They will all post rather quickly.**

**Promise.**

**If ur still around, I'd love to hear from you.**

**xx**


	43. Chapter 41

**Disclaimer - Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. Plagiarism is theft. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted.**

**This story is the sole property of Breath-of-twilight. It may not be copied, published or posted elsewhere without my express written consent which I do not give at this time.**

**Thanks Ann.**

* * *

**~∞Ѿ∞~**

_Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. ~ Cyril Connolly_

**Chapter 41**

**March**

Edward found a job, and we were moving.

Let me make myself clearer. Edward found a job in Seattle, fucking Seattle, people, and he asked, more like begged, me to come with him.

Of course, I said yes. What kind of halfwit do you take me for?

It was the middle of spring break, mid-terms out of sight out of mind. We spent our days and nights trying every new position we could think of. Edward thought I was mighty bendy and wanted to put my flexibility to the test. Or so he said. Personally, I was pretty sure he just used that as an excuse to bend me into a pretzel-like shape and bang the hell out of me. But hell if I did anything to stop him. Because having Edward fucking Cullen slamming into me so deep I was sure my ovaries shriveled up in fear and wept at the sight of his throbbing cock was enough to make anyone agree to anything.

Yeah, and you want to know how he sealed the deal? How he made sure I'd move four hours away to Seattle for him, with him- not that he needed a deal maker or anything. I'd follow that man anywhere.

A tantra chair. The fucker ordered one, and it was currently set to be shipped to the new apartment he had apparently already found and bought. Bought, did you hear that? Bought!

Turns out, Edward twigging about work and money was just him being all OCD and stressing his need to be able to control his life in some semblance. He didn't really need money. At all. Seems my secret-keeping boyfriend was a trust fund baby, and the fucker had a trust fund he had refused to touch. Ever. Well, up until now, that is, when he bought_ our_ first apartment. Our first apartment that had three, count 'em, three bedrooms. Why might one ask would we need three bedrooms for the two of us? At first, I thought that was his way of implying he wanted us to have our own rooms. I was slightly hurt, not gonna lie. But then he got that sly look on him, and he smirked; that fucker smirked while I was feeling all lowly and shit, and said all smooth and calmly, "I'd like to have a separate room for our, you know, toys and such, and yeah well, the other is for just in case."

I was so stuck on the 'toy room' idea, I sort of missed the 'just in case room'.

For a moment.

Then I stopped my excited jumping and sloppy kissing. I dropped my hands to my sides, tilted my head and just stared at him. I'm sure I must have been a hilarious sight.

"In case, ya know. If we ever…" he had stopped, rubbed my belly, which almost made me lose my shit as he finished his sentence, "if I am ever lucky enough to have you carry a piece of both of us inside of you." And the look on his face, the total adoration, the waves of love that seemed to roll off of him, slammed into me, and the anxiety just washed away, leaving me feeling giddy and hopeful, and oh so fucking lucky.

"A baby?" I asked, small voice, quivering lip.

"Some day. No rush, but just in case. I love you, Bella Swan. This is it for me. Everything to do with life, I see with you. So, yes I am looking at the big picture here. Our world."

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**4 more to go.**

**I can't bellieve this fic is about done. It has been forever in the making, and I won't lie. It is not one of my fav fics. I originally started writing it with an FF friend. Then she had shit go on in her life and had to bail. I continued it on my own then, feeling the need to add more actual storyline instead of just smut. I feel like I have failed in that sense, but I do hope these last few chaps close everything up nicely.**

**xx**


	44. Chapter 42

**Disclaimer - Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. Plagiarism is theft. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted.**

**This story is the sole property of Breath-of-twilight. It may not be copied, published or posted elsewhere without my express written consent which I do not give at this time.**

**Thanks Ann.**

* * *

**~∞Ѿ∞~**

_Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. ~ Cyril Connolly_

**Chapter 42**

**April**

It seemed the months were flying by. Literally.

Easter weekend, Edward brought me home to meet his family.

I was nervous as all hell. I never did tell Edward about the conversation I had overheard with his dad. I couldn't bring myself to rehash bits and pieces of the past that were better off left there. This was our now; the past had no place here. We had started anew, and I would keep it that way if I could.

I thought for sure I'd receive a nice brisk cold shoulder. When, in fact, what I walked into was anything but.

Carlisle was charming and kind. His eyes crinkled at the corners when he laughed, just like Edward's, and his demeanor was nothing like the stuck up, stuffy, all high and mighty attitude I had expected. At all.

Esme, wow, she was glamorous. That was the only way I could describe her. She had this air about her. Like, she was all kind and soft spoken in her insanely gorgeous dress that looked like it cost more than I could ever imagine making in a month, or two, or more. Then, she went and caught me ogling it, and let out a breathy laugh, waving her hand around herself in a way I'd seen only Vanna White pull off, and said, "I know it looks a little over the top, but I absolutely love clothes, and when you consider that the price for it was nothing but the cost of materials. Well, one can't go wrong there then, right?

I gaped, I struggled to smile, I fought like a fucker to understand. In other words, I sat there, dumbstruck, looking like I was constipated, until Edward broke the silence with a deep laugh. His simple touch pulled me from my numpty moment, and he smiled softly as he explained, "My mom is a clothing designer. That's what she does for a living. She keeps all of her demos and wears them whenever she can sneak in an occasion to do so."

Oh.

Oh!

Oh? "Think I can wear one with you sometime?"

Face palm.

My face had burned a bright, flaming red as my embarrassment flared, and I internally cursed my lack of filter.

"Sorry, that was out of line. Sometimes I forget to close my mouth when I think, and sometimes I open my mouth and don't talk at all cause I think I'm thinking, and…"

Esme, as she asked to be called, waved me off, interrupting my rambled rant with a chuckled, "Don't apologize. It's refreshing, and I'd love to have someone to go to actually go to lunches with, gives me a reason to play dress up, on both you, and me."

My eyes had gone wide, my smile cracking at the corners of my mouth it was so large, and damn, smiling all crazed and happy like sorta hurt.

Who woulda thunk!

But then Edward had to go and open his big mouth, burst my happy bubble, and tell his parents that it would have to be real soon, because….because we were moving all the way to Seattle.

Which, really, wasn't all that far away. I just acted like it was. And yeah, I sorta felt like someone kicked my puppy in that moment. I mean, aside from Alice, I hadn't really had too many girly girlfriends, and Esme seemed nice, and fun, and even though she was twice my age, I could totally see the two of us painting the town.

Instead of the strangled sobs and angry words I expected to follow that announcement, all I heard was Esme's hushed snickers, and Carlisle clearing his throat.

"What? Why do you two look like the cats that ate the canary?" Edward grumbled, his eyes brows arched impossibly high and his nostrils flaring.

I rested my hand on his forearm, just trying to calm him a bit. I didn't like seeing him so agitated, but was immensely relieved that, for once, it wasn't aimed at me.

"About that, son. We, uh, we already knew."

Edward shook his head, his hair falling out of place and covering his eyes momentarily, but when he swiped it to the side and his eyes were once again visible to me, there was a dragged out moment when I watched as recognition clouded over his bright eyes, dulling them, then lighting them up with a fiery anger that scared the ever living daylights out of me.

I flinched back as he rose from his seat. His hands were balled in fists and planted firmly on the table.

"Say it. Just fucking say it," he spat, no longer looking at anything but his clenched fists.

"Fine, I may have bought the company you are going to be working for just after the New Year."

My head darted up, away from Edward, towards Carlisle, who had the decency to look bashful.

_Say what?_

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**_Have I mentioned The Lies we Live With? Or The Choices We Make? If you are not reading them, I would love to hear ur thoughts. The Choices We Make just started posting, and it is EPOV on The Lies We Live With._**

**_Thoughts?_**


	45. Chapter 43

**Disclaimer - Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. Plagiarism is theft. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted.**

**This story is the sole property of Breath-of-twilight. It may not be copied, published or posted elsewhere without my express written consent which I do not give at this time.**

**Thanks Ann.**

* * *

**~∞Ѿ∞~**

_Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. ~ Cyril Connolly_

**Chapter 43**

**May**

Edward spent a week or two walking around and huffing constantly.

I tried my best to be there for him, listening when he needed me to, distracting him with out of the blue blow jobs in the kitchen, and surprise fucks as he walked in the door to find me naked and bent over a piece of furniture.

I think it was working. At least, I'm pretty sure it was. He was smiling more, even humming now and then, and he was going to see his father, finally. Alone.

I almost forgot I needed to get a hold of Jamie to let him know our huge news. That we were moving at the beginning of June. Which was great, and huge, but by the time I got a hold of him it was nowhere near as huge and shocking as his.

Jamie was getting married.

On June twelfth.

I was stunned speechless.

It was all so quick. Wasn't it?

I mean, I even flipped up my hand, counted on my fingers. January, February, March, April, May, June. That was a total of five months and twelve days they would have known each other, and marriage?

But he was happy, and I could only hope that he continued to be. So, when he asked if I'd be his best man, how could I say no? I couldn't, and I didn't. Instead, I was the friend he deserved, and I squealed and gushed for hours with him about colors and cake tasting. He asked if I'd come to Vegas a few days early to pick a dress? I knew it would be a tight squeeze, schedule wise, with the move and all; he knew that, too, but I said yes, and thanked my lucky stars Edward had arranged to start work the week after the Fourth of July weekend. Otherwise, yeah we'd be screwed.

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**Lots happening in these chaps. what r y'all thinking?**

**Countdown to Halloween 2012 is already in the planning stages. There are only 6 spots left for authors. Lemme know ASAP if you are interested in participating. As for reading along, just put me on alert and as soon as it posts u'll know.**

**xx**


	46. Chapter 44

**Disclaimer - Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. Plagiarism is theft. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted.**

**This story is the sole property of Breath-of-twilight. It may not be copied, published or posted elsewhere without my express written consent which I do not give at this time.**

**Thanks Ann.**

* * *

**~∞Ѿ∞~**

_Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. ~ Cyril Connolly_

**Chapter 44**

**June**

Once Edward talked shit over with his dad and realized he wouldn't be working directly under his dad, and that the whole plan was to have Edward actually help run the new company in Seattle, it seemed Edward's mood improved infinitely.

Our move was rather painless. We hired a moving company to move what stuff we would take and bought all new furniture online that was being delivered mere hours after we were set to arrive in Seattle.

What was painful was the last weekend in May. The weekend I brought Edward home to meet Charlie. Well, that and finally going over to Alice's, seeing her and Jasper face to face, and saying goodbye. Then, but two breaths later, meeting their new 'playmates', for lack of a better description, Rosalie and Emmett.

I wasn't sure why it hurt. Not really, but sort of. It was like I being replaced. At least that is how it felt for a moment, until Edward wrapped an arm around me, and Jasper winked playfully in my direction, and Alice threw herself at me, sobbing into my shoulder as she told me how much she'd miss me and that she'd come visit as often as she could.

I realized then that Rosalie and Emmett didn't replace me at all. I just fit into a whole different place in their life now, and I think I kinda liked that place a lot better.

Then, of course, there was the wedding, which it turned out Alice and Jasper would be at as well. Alice was going to be a bridesmaid, it seemed. That sneaky little shit, always fixing up my life in places I didn't even realize needed fixing, never mind how to fix them. God how I loved that boy!

But I digress, back to the scariest shit of all. May 27 … with my dad. Now, Charlie was usually rather passive. Quiet by nature and so not the overly protective type.

Apparently, all of that changed the second his baby girl told him she was changing schools to be with a boy, and moving in with him to boot.

Yeah, well, that changes things.

When we got there, he was nowhere to be found.

Until we did find him…

In the backyard, with a beer in hand and a slew of empty cans lined up along the fence.

He had his shotgun in hand and was pinging those flimsy cans off like they were moths.

Edward damn near shit his pants. Couldn't say that I blamed him. Even I was caught off guard.

Then, when he finally put his gun down, swallowed the rest of his beer, and turned around, he shot daggers with his eyes at Edward before pulling me into his arms for one helluva tight hug. Which felt great, don't get me wrong, but it was not something Charlie was known for doing.

We spent four hours at my dad's, packing what little stuff I had before sitting down to dinner. Actually, let me rephrase that. I packed what little shit I had while poor Edward sat out back and got grilled by my newly present overprotective dad.

Like I said… what the fuck!

He was like an alien to me.

It was kinda cute.

I'd never tell Edward I thought that.

Poor guy was seriously scarred for life, I tell ya.

Edward still hasn't told me exactly what was said out there in the backyard, but what he has alluded to is the fact that there was a side to my dad I had yet to meet, and he was one scary mother-fucker.

I laughed at that, couldn't help myself, really.

Charlie was so not scary.

At least not to me.

But he must have been to Edward, because we hadn't had sex since, and let me tell you, no sex + Bella = one helluva cranky bitch. Not to mention one helluva desperate slut, too. Yeah, I totally called myself that. I mean, what do you call a girl who waits until her amazing boyfriend is downstairs carrying up a large load of boxes into our brand new apartment then strips down, pulls out her secret porta-penis, lays spread eagle on the bare floor, and slides the fucker home for said boyfriend to walk in on?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

And even worse, that's what I did.

Poor Edward actually dropped the boxes he was carrying, his eyes darkening with hunger as he gaped, eyes slanting, as I acted oblivious to him, dipping my toy and swirling it, as if I hadn't a care in the world. In other words, acting as if his presence did nothing to distract me.

Which it totally was.

"B…Baby, what the fuck are you doing?"

I gasped, acted busted, smirked, then shrugged innocently, still not ceasing my movements.

"Nothing much. Just getting myself off. I was feeling pretty horny, and since it seems my fuck-hawt boyfriend has recently been boycotting anything sexual, I figured I'd just take care of business myself."

I left it at that, closed my eyes, and pressed the dong in deeper. I hummed out a moan and clenched my thighs, already feeling my orgasm building.

I knew it wouldn't take long; this whole moment was hotter than I ever imagined, and I really was hornier than shit.

I refused to reopen my eyes. And, for a moment, I thought maybe Edward had just spun on his heel and left. But, when I was right there, dangling at the precipice of mind blowing colors and tingles, my legs were roughly spread apart, followed by my dong being pulled out from inside of me, and by the time my eyes were fully open, and my hazy mind was able to get past the loss of said euphoria, Edward was in between my legs, his dick sliding in with one rough slam of his hips; and, holy fuck, I swear I almost lost consciousness.

My whole body convulsed, almost painfully, my muscles cramped up causing my limbs to go rigid, my hearing faded, making it sound as if I were submerged under water, and my tongue went dry; and then, just when I was sure I would actually pass the fuck out, I heard him. His grunted out words sent my body right back under, writhing and panting, eyes clenched shut.

"Don't. Ever. Pull, That. Shit. Again. This pussy…" Feeling slowly began to returns to my limbs, and just in time, apparently, because right then, Edward pulled back, flicked his wrist and let loose a slightly stinging slap to my swollen pussy before finishing his sentence, "…is mine. Only I get to fuck it, and say what, if anything else, can fuck it."

My eyes flew open, his connected with mine. The feral darkness in them was a sight I had never seen.

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**I think I loved Bella a wee bit more in this chapter. Some of her antics and thought processes are just fucking too much...lol**


	47. Chapter 45

**Disclaimer - Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. Plagiarism is theft. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted.**

**This story is the sole property of Breath-of-twilight. It may not be copied, published or posted elsewhere without my express written consent which I do not give at this time.**

**Thanks Ann.**

* * *

**~∞Ѿ∞~**

_Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. ~ Cyril Connolly_

**Chapter 45**

We weren't even fully set up in our new place by the time we were packing to head to Vegas. Edward was back to fucking me good and proper, and regularly, but it seemed something else was now bothering him.

He spent a good portion of the evenings mumbling to himself and tugging at lock after lock of his hair, while pacing back and forth on the balcony. He probably thought I didn't notice; but I did. I asked him if everything was okay, if he needed to talk, but he just pulled me to him, hugged me, and told me everything was perfect, finally. Then, he threw me over his shoulder, letting me down only once we had reached our bed and only long enough to set me down before flipping me over, effectively causing me to flop like a ragdoll on him and into his already hard penis. He tore off my panties, and his tongue frantically dove into my folds, flicking and lapping; and, yeah, let's just say I forgot all about his odd behavior after that.

The wedding was definitely something to remember; the whole trip was rather educational, actually. Educational in ways I never thought I needed educating.

The wedding itself was gorgeous, but different. Jamie was the man in their relationship, that much was for sure; and Victoria, let's just say if I hadn't been told she was a man, I'd have never guessed it.

Apparently, while I had been in my Edward induced bubble, things had changed for everyone else.

Victoria and Jamie had decided that what their relationship needed was for Vic to get a sex change. So, they got it done. Victor was now Victoria. Legally. Everything was changed over not even two days after the surgery. And, they were looking into adopting.

Seriously, my Jamie, with a wife, and a baby? I had to wonder if Vegas was, indeed, some alternate universe I had unknowingly flown into.

Alice and Jasper had decided to move in together. And…they were getting married. That one was a funky pill to swallow. I mean, what kind of marriage was based off of threesomes and foursomes, dominance and submission? Alice chuckled in amusement when I apparently asked that aloud, not in my head, like I thought.

She just simply said, "Our lifestyle isn't for everyone, but it works for us, and we're secure in our positions with one another and our love for each other. Bust most of all, we're happy. It just works."

How could I argue with that? She was right, after all. Each person, each couple, had their own idea of happiness.

Ours was a monogamous relationship with lots and lots of sex. Was that considered normal?

Jamie's and Victoria's was not what I was used to, but it worked for them. Was that considered normal?

Or was the way Alice and Jasper lived their life with so many others involved normal?

I guess, that one week trip to Vegas taught me a life altering lesson. Normal wasn't a cut and dry description. I would argue with anyone the definition of that simple word. Because, really, normal was whatever worked for each person. The way of life or character that worked within their own world.

No sooner had I stepped on that plane back to Seattle than I already missed the hell out of my friends. They promised to visit; we promised the same thing. But I also learned rather quickly that life doesn't stop happening just because the people you love are hours away from you.

People grow, and live, and their normal changes, their paths swerve and detour.

I knew I would miss so much, but it was okay, ya know. Because I had my own paths to make, my own past to move on from, my own future to build; and where my friends would always be a part of that, Edward was now my main part, and as long as he was there with me, every step of the way, I could call my friends fifteen times a day and regale them with my everyday normalness.

We would always be connected, just apart, living our normal and being our own people.

Somehow we managed to get everything unpacked, all the furniture in places we could both agree on- which, let me tell you, wasn't a painless task- by the long weekend.

Edward surprised me by booking a special weekend getaway for us. I didn't understand the need for it. I was happy where I was, and really, this was all new already, and we were alone. So what was the point in going away? I had no clue, but he smiled all boy-in-candy-store-like as he told me. I loved seeing him so happy. There was no way I could say no.

He ended up taking me to a small cabin along the Peninsula. It was gorgeous. It was secluded, and we were alone. I was surprised I had never heard of it, considering my dad lived in Forks. But apparently it was a newer resort, built after a bunch of trees had caught fire there because of some stupid teens who liked to play with open flames.

We spent our days lying around the heated pool, switching up between playful splashes and sweet kisses.

Our evenings we spent in bed, touching, tasting, exploring. One would swear it was our first weekend together, our first time making love. We still awed over each other's bodies, reveled in kisses, and panted for more, all the time. Nothing was new, but nothing was old either. Every time for us was like a first time, a familiar, yet new, first time.

Our last night at the cabin, we sat out on the front porch. From there, we could easily see the firework display the resort was setting off in the front field. I rested my head in Edward's lap, my eyes fluttering in contentment as his fingers ran through strands of my hair, scratching gently at my scalp.

"It's so beautiful," I whispered, somehow feeling as though speaking any louder would somehow disturb the serenity I was feeling, even with the booming pops and crackled bangs reverberating all around us.

"It sure is," Edward said back, his voice soft, his eyes on me.

I smiled, "I meant here, not me."

"I know, it is, but I meant you."

I lifted my head and kissed him softly. "Thank you for this, Edward. You were right. This was just what we needed after all the craziness of moving and Vegas."

A few minutes later, I was jostled by a jumble of snap, crackle, pops. My eyes darted open as my heart hammered in my chest. Edward chuckled softly.

"Sorry, must have fallen asleep."

"Don't be. You gave me time."

"Time for what?" I asked, confused. He was being rather cryptic, and he was looking at me so intensely.

"Edward?"

Slowly, he shifted me, lifting me from his lap and turning so we were facing each other.

"Bella, I love you so much…"

"I love you, too, Edward."

"Shhh, stop interrupting me, here, woman," Edward teased, his eyes crinkling with his amusement.

"We've been through a lot to get here, to where we are now, happy, in love, moving forward. I can't imagine a future without you in it, by my side, and I don't want to. I want to start our forever, Bella. Will you share your future with me, as my wife?"

I shook my head, and blinked a few times, just making sure I really was awake this time. I was, and Edward, the perfect normal to my brand of normal, had just asked me to marry him. Somehow, he had a ring in his hand. I wasn't sure where it came from, but it sparkled, even in the dim lighting. My throat seemed to tighten up, my eyes stung as I stared at him then at the ring, then at him again. All I was able to do, as tears broke free and trailed down my face, was nod frantically and throw myself at him.

Edward managed to slip the ring on my finger just as the last of the fireworks died off, and we were left kissing, holding each other, and happy under the starry night sky.

**The End!**

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**No sniffling here. I am happy to finally click 'complete' but I will be sad to see the few of you who have stuck by me through this never-ending fic leave. I can't express enough my graitude, adoration, and love for u all enough. But I do, all of that for all of you.**

**Thanks for being your own brand of normal. I wouldn't want you any other way.**

**Lindsi Loolabell and CuddleswithRob made the banners for this fic. Mambomama looked through all of my chapters and changed all of my 'ya's to 'yeah's...lol...bad habits die hard, I suppose.**

**My readers own me. I wouldn't write without them.**

**That is all.**

**xx**


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